Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML
Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML
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Top comments
AndyBoy 0
FYL indeed sir
ellephaba101 0
I don't get it...?
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Comments (176)
strickerman101 0
damn hangover
takemeonthefloor 0
hahahaaahaha that is the funniest thing ive heard all day. sucks for you though.
Dragonmouth 4
This might constitute date-rape.
dem54 0
she's lying to you.
suckingatlife 9
#7 Filming really? **** is not necessary if you get the real thing on the other hand it would be useful since you do not remember how you did it. and lmao
BaldOuting 0
that sucks for you, apparently it was mind blowing :P
peanut_gallery 2
Dude you got roofied.
jnic 0
Wow dude... if the best sex she's gotten from you was when you were half asleep... yeah, both your lives are ******. Hahah or maybe she's lying just to **** with you. :p That'd be funny.
dancin303 0
#33,43,44 sorry i mispelled interesting. its a typo. and btw i am a she
evilwoody 0
Tell her to go round 2 tonight, you weren't finished experimenting the night before. Just go wild with whatever crazy moves you can come up with and see what happens.