Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Technicality
Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML
Jesus wept
Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Like a virgin
Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
So close…
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML
Top comments
aprilita 8
To console her by making love to her ;)
ParkersGirl 0
LMAO!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (482)
darrell8 4
tell her that God forgives. it might make her better....maybe
lifesacuntface 4
I feel you...it's happened to me before but she warmed up to the idea of it maybe yours will to
steph87_fml 0
you sexy devils temptation!! take it as a complement she obviously couldn't wait any longer to have her way with you. or actually you shod call her a slutty sinner. see how she likes it. lol.
scottwadd1 0
that's what happens when you are raised by god botherers.
butterflyz1961 2
See! It was all your fault, you heathen! just kidding....lol
justamexican 2
LMFAO!!!!! there's really not more to say...... FYL
kattyeyedkay 0
really you should have given her a minimum of a week to think it over. if you really care about her anyways. after 4 yrs, her heart was obviously set on staying a virgin..
Flutist 3
Um, she cried for FOUR HOURS, not 4 yrs. If she has been a virgin for only four years then Op has more problems than sex with a Christian. He would be a pedo.
FLAFeagle 0
Good for her
xoxocristi 0
she is a
thezero_fml 0
dump her