Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch porn on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear, but It wasn't until she came out of the bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML
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Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML
Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML
Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
Today, at 1 a.m., I had my headphones on trying to watch porn. I live in an apartment with thin ass walls anyway, and I didn’t realize my headphone jack had come undone. The volume was terrible on the video so I raised it louder, not realizing it until like maybe halfway through the video, and my window was also open. FML
Today, I was watching porn with no headphones, because my roommate had left for work. He didn’t fill me in that his girlfriend was, one, even over at our place, and two was using the room next to me to teach her third grade class. Yeah. I’m going to get headphones. FML
Today, at work, I put my earphones in to listen to some music. An hour later, I realised I never pressed play. FML
Today, my wife fell asleep. I was giving her head at the time. Her snoring gave it away. FML
Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML
Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML
Today, my manager called when I was watching porn. I picked up after pausing the video, but somehow the video kept playing. I'm pretty sure she definitely heard. FML
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Top comments
fmlplzthks 0
if you guys sleep in separate bedrooms wtf else does she expect you to do...
ThorsSon 0
#3 said basically what I was thinking... "she came out of HER bedroom"? FYL for sure dude.
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Comments (89)
HyperFlirt 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If I was her I'd be rightly pissed :P
shortypie 3
i hope you are single, if not FHL for being with you.
z_hamel 0
idiot he said his wife how can he be single
isminei 6
I think shortypie was replying to HyperFlirt
T1A2Z3 34
Because you were woken up?
fmlplzthks 0
if you guys sleep in separate bedrooms wtf else does she expect you to do...
lady_hoff 0
wow. that is what every great man should do. watch **** behind there wife's back and then post how she saw you on fml. your a keeper
picante72 24
He probably left their bedroom to go spank the wank in the living room where she wouldn't hear him.
ThorsSon 0
#3 said basically what I was thinking... "she came out of HER bedroom"? FYL for sure dude.
kendallannalea 0
I was confused on that one too.
wiz_khaliffa 0
He could have been in the living room while watching it and she could have came out of their room to see what was goin on .
riceicle1 6
But it says HER bedroom.
roseglass6370 0
Wow...if I were her I would be LIVID. But yeah, what up with the "HER" bedroom...?
xNephilim 18
Why? Men watch ****. It's somewhat natural. Nowadays anyway. I don't see what the big deal is... It's just ****, for God's sake.
jdkfgkjdfb 0
"Her" bedroom? You and your wife don't share one? **** is for pervs.
hottstuff69 0
**** helps with the later of the week.... why would she be pissed
slax0r 0
same as #8, do you really need **** if you're married? If so, something's probably wrong.
xerbrus 14
people become uninterested in each other after a time plus if they aren't sharing a bedroom he's probably not getting laid
MozillaFirefox 0
Wow, talk about whipped. Does she keep you on a leash when you leave the house, too? Seriously though, if #8 and #9 are guessing right, then you need a divorce or something.
Sessee 4
Agreed with #3. But, yeah, if I were married and my husband woke me up all like "SEX PLZ", I'd be like, "**** off". I am guessing he'd watch ****.
danjmclaughlin 0
That sucks, I know the feeling though.