Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML
Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML
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Top comments
aprilita 8
To console her by making love to her ;)
ParkersGirl 0
LMAO!
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Comments (482)
Glidefedt 6
I think you just got trolled by higher powers.
pacman82 0
awh bro that sucks.
howdmynosego 12
oh dear FYL and FHL. hope she's alright
camelspanker69 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
_IHeartMusic_ 4
Lmfao xD poor girl.
helene123456789 0
dude thats so halarious tell her that god says that sex is a good thing n its beautiful
badactor009 0
Two points: 1: I assume you are referring to the Christian god most English speaking people are familiar with? You are mis-quoting him. He did not say that about sex. Others have said that, but not him. I agree with your point but don't mid-quote a source(?) to make it. Own your opinion. 2: I challenge you to think for yourself. I do and you can to. Challenge everything and rise to reason. I no longer believe in any god. Reason tells me there is no god. A supernatural being did not create humans and this planet in it's current form. The entire Christian Bible is a giant fairy tale and a very flawed book. The story logic falls apart again and again. Not true. Didn't happen and can't be proved in any way whatsoever. Science tells us a different story. Look into it.
demoreice 0
FAIL!!!
aerogxt 7
YDI loser
BikeAllDay818 6
stupid christian
CuddlyDisaster 0
sounds like someone needs some midal and a snickers...