Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
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Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML
Jesus wept
Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Like a virgin
Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
So close…
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML
Top comments
aprilita 8
To console her by making love to her ;)
ParkersGirl 0
LMAO!
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Comments (482)
Santamonica17289 5
Aww :/ I think she's just shocked
Candy16 5
Lmao!!
DylanVermette 0
hey :)
DownToTheWire 3
I find it amusing your user name is devilboy..
badbeour 0
lmao the poor girl some people take things like that so seriously though haha im sure she'll get over it......she'll prob want more in another 4 hours lol xD
kialuvsyoo 3
Well hey, you kind of helped her break her commitment :p it takes 2 to tango, hon :)
Calyx_fml 21
Dump her. She's too much work.
elusivemuffin 0
Poor thing :/ I hope she knows what birth control is.
7sevensevenseven 0
she obv wanted a reason to break up with you
Equal_Of 0
Tell her to keep putting out or you'll tell her parents and preacher.
Church_boy 0
well look in the bright side........u got laid