Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML
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Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML
Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML
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Top comments
aprilita 8
To console her by making love to her ;)
ParkersGirl 0
LMAO!
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Comments (482)
Mafioso757 0
wow stupid bitch you married YDI
brunettebaby98 0
well, i hope it was really good sex:)
permitame 0
I am religious and I don't think that having sex before marriage is wrong. It's an out dated concept. God forgives any and all sins. she needs to keep in mind that it takes to people to have sex. If she was so religious why isn't she apologizing to him for tempting him ?
nate_msm 0
sounds like she needs a good shag
decidedlyvague 11
having sex before marriage was never written in the bible as bad. you just have to marry the person you sleep with and stay with her forever, like every other marraige. although I don't dobble in that ridiculousness. hope it helps
imustbeinsane 2
Aside from the crying girlfriend you should feel great, I mean she must really really like you to have broke that promise to herself
GeneralMotors 23
f her life.
PapSmearNinja 4
tap that again... and again.. eventually she will love it like the rest of them and want it on a regular basis!!
gtrgdss 0
ex husband was the same way!!! I feel you.
Paulavast 0
next time have sex with someone who isn't a ******* idiot. the sex will be better and it will be more relaxing afterwards.