Love: Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes... - FML

By NinjaPanda88 - 01/08/2009 07:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 894

You deserved it 16 893

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 112

You deserved it 10 954

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 08:33 - New Zealand - Auckland

Spicy

Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 194

You deserved it 3 536

By Gonzales - 07/08/2015 19:47 - Belgium - Leuven

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name it that, and she said, "Because he's Speedy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 756

You deserved it 5 671

By off to the whorehouse, then - 31/03/2014 21:03 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Spicy

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 925

You deserved it 7 809

By stun_zeed - 17/01/2017 10:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend called my flaccid penis her "little squishy" in a voice like Dory, and became upset when I got aroused because little squishy was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 144

You deserved it 1 274

By Tickdick - 24/03/2017 21:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 319

You deserved it 559

Size Queen

By Anonymous - 11/11/2019 05:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she took the shower head and started spraying my penis with it. I asked her, "What are you doing?" Her response, "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 259

You deserved it 14 872

By spermbankonlegs - 16/03/2012 02:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 629

You deserved it 4 869

Call me by my name

By Tim Scotten - 18/05/2021 06:01

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Her new nickname for me is "Mr. Breakfast Sausage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 245

By ADT - 09/02/2009 02:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 598

You deserved it 3 842

Next

Top comments

Tippssy 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 16:32

Pokedex Entry: Squirtle Type: Water Height: 6.5 inches Moveset: Harden, Pound, Withdraw, String Shot

Darkon 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 16:07

That is awesome!

Comments

vostro_candy 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 17:32

FTW

jxchampagne 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 17:45

My girlfriend does the same thing....My cocks name is cheswik and my asses name is seamus...

chris_247 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 19:56

lol

newguy12 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 18:35

Squirtle, i need you to put out the fire.... In my pants!!!

Darling_Darkling 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 18:47

OMG, my ex-boyfriend nicked named me Squirtle hahaha xP!

somaturee 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 19:32

This made me laugh, that's actually a great nickname. Be glad she didn't name it a useless Pokemon like Gigglypuff or something. ;)

ndnsweetie 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 22:25

LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Roberto22 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 22:36

That is a f*cking brilliant name!

nandothecooldude 0

Monday 3 August 2009 0:31

wtf haha! suck it up:) muahaha! this is retarded but funnnayy!

giganticbrain 0

Monday 3 August 2009 2:03

Nice use of the adjective "retarded" as a synonym for...****, I don't even know what the **** you were saying. Anyway, how was this accepted? There's not much bad about it.

paulfalcon 0

Monday 3 August 2009 2:38

Ha ha... when she gets loose, you should call her twat "Snorlax" or "Kirby". So, anyone fancy a Steelix and two Electrodes? Iron Tail with Swift and the occassional Explosion. ;-)

el_wing 0

Monday 3 August 2009 4:20

haha dont feel bad my friend called her boyfriend's caterpie cuz of his size XD haha

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Keywords

Clothes Miscellaneous Underwear Weird Dogs Animals Halloween Cute Fire Awkward Love First Dates Smells Scary Phobias Work Embarrassing Shopping Kids Health Friends Therapy Mental health Am I overreacting? AITA Birthday Poopoo peepee Customers Thief Argument

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Today, I'm a child star who made A LOT of money, TONS! My parents used it to pay all the bills of the house, claiming that we were really poor and needed this money. I charged over 5k per show (4 SHOWS A MONTH) and they would ONLY give me 20 dollars to spend. What happened to the rest? I will never know, I am SO BROKE. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 127

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around. I was sitting up on my bed when he reached down near my privates and said, "Wow babe, did you shave today? It's so soft…" He was actually touching my bottom roll above my vagina, which delightfully formed a crease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 034

You deserved it 22 061

The Top

Today, I met my favourite singer, but when she signed my CD, the marker was out of ink. By the time I realised there was no signature, she was already gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 167

You deserved it 402

Today, I learned that if I order fuel oil for my house’s central heating right now, it won't be delivered before January. Yes, that’s in three months. No, I don't live in one of those countries where it’s still warm in October. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 232

Today, I had a wet fart with liquid in my underwear that I could smell. I let the one guy in front of me take the elevator so he wouldn't smell me. When the next empty elevator showed up, seven people started lining up behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 185

Today, I went to my parents' for the first time in months. Upon my arrival, I found out that I won't be spending the day with them because they've taken a car trip to attend a Sarah Palin book signing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 348

You deserved it 6 074

Today, I'm on a train, feeling good because I got upgraded to first class. The man opposite me just slid me a note saying, "Wee plooky cunt, fuck off!" Charming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 318

You deserved it 2 360

Today, I got all the way until after lunch before I realized my new pants were basically leggings, and that you could see my pink thong through them. I was in a training with a bunch of the guys that work the production floor, and I’m pretty sure they noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 476