Miscellaneous: Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started...

By noweddingforyou - 29/09/2013 19:21 - Canada - Guelph

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 407

You deserved it 7 644

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Same thing different taste

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 531

You deserved it 1 600

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 659

You deserved it 9 501

By jeesh - 31/01/2009 11:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 957

You deserved it 89 284

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 14:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 273

You deserved it 30 178

By icyrebel25 - 12/11/2013 23:57 - United States - Mckinney

Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 953

You deserved it 5 234

Strange flex, but OK

By Jpah - 24/06/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice. We were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes, she asked me, "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?" She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 896

You deserved it 3 910

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 555

You deserved it 3 440

By poopydaddy - 03/05/2013 11:32 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 861

You deserved it 5 656

By Anonymous - 10/01/2010 16:19 - United States

Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 627

You deserved it 3 553

By oh no - 22/06/2015 20:58 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 475

You deserved it 5 281

hghrider123456 9

Monday 30 September 2013 1:56

That's when you say "yes, it has a boo-boo, will you kiss and make it better?"

misspulkadot24 17

Monday 30 September 2013 1:58

Which cheek?

Comments

zoegirl_455 30

Monday 30 September 2013 2:01

Plucking eyebrows? Fine. Pinching your cheek? Now that's uncomfortable.

Caitie_kid 8

Monday 30 September 2013 3:51

At least he doesn't have to fish his poo out of the toilet and hide it if the toilet doesn't flush.

miura_fml 17

Monday 30 September 2013 2:03

How about locking the door next time then?

drshn 22

Monday 30 September 2013 2:09

smart one girl..

miura_fml 17

Monday 30 September 2013 2:12

Obviously since OP didn't think of it

jkmartinjk 16

Monday 30 September 2013 7:06

Here's a shocking fact: not all bathroom doors have locks! :O

joopjoop 19

Monday 30 September 2013 8:12

shocking fact! you can buy a locking doorknob for under 20$ and install it with a simple screwdriver if you are concerned about your privacy!

doodlecloud 26

Monday 30 September 2013 13:02

Maybe he didn't think he'd need that because he wasn't expecting her to come and start plucking her god damn eyebrows! I mean, are there no other mirrors in the house?

Cluricaun 5

Monday 30 September 2013 2:03

lol man up! at least she is laid back and comfortable with you sound like a keeper

HeyHeyFishFillet 34

Monday 30 September 2013 3:08

I've never understood this "man up" nonsense. Are men not allowed to feel uncomfortable?

threer 30

Monday 30 September 2013 7:38

I second that. Men should be able to feel whatever they want and express themselves. Why should women be able to be in a traditional 'man's role' if men can't do the same with traditional 'women's roles'?

sunnyray812 42

Monday 30 September 2013 2:04

That's annoying.

awkwardloveannie 28

Monday 30 September 2013 2:06

if you guys lived together I guess she assumed you were comfortable around her that way

Stazza11 27

Monday 30 September 2013 2:11

I have lived with my now fiance for a good 8 months, I'm certainly not comfortable snapping one off in front of her.

imaCONartist 15

Monday 30 September 2013 3:40

I'm gonna have to agree. I've lived with my boyfriend for 5 years and I'm plenty comfortable around him, but (for me, at least) there has to be some kind of limit.