Today, my girlfriend tried to cover my eyes while I was driving on the main street, all because she caught me looking at an ad featuring bikini-clad girls on the bus ahead of our car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML
Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me on a drive while he did some errands. I waited for him in the car with my bare feet on his dashboard, like I usually do. As I waited, I noticed a woman blatantly taking pictures of my feet from across the lot, and she winked at me. I cowered in my seat until he came back. FML
Today, my husband managed to crash the car because he was too busy looking at an attractive girl with her leggings wedged up her ass crack, and I know he only crashed because he was looking at her, because I was in the car with him when it happened. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I was driving to work, following my girlfriend's car. I looked down to change the radio station and felt a large bump. I rear-ended my girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to look at my phone and I turned it away from her. Now she’s convinced I’m cheating on her. In reality, I’m too embarrassed to admit it’s because Facebook is showing me nonstop ads for laxatives after I ordered some two days ago. FML
Today, I saw a woman still texting on her phone as she started to drive away when the light turned green. I made sure to stare her down and give her a dirty look because she wasn't paying attention to driving. She laughed as I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML
Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML
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Top comments
borntoperform 14
I guess she didn't think that one through...
djwilson50 3
Sounds like shes feeling insecure!
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Comments (170)
ninjuh_wingman 29
Yea I dont think thats going to end well. Could just be me.
keepingitnasty 15
Punch her in the titty.
Vaginabutter 15
lmfao
RuCheezBurger 10
Waait YOU were driving? Because that sounds like your girlfriend is trying to kill you.
upyourzlolz 11
Yes OP was driving. Can you not read?
Attaru 8
Gotta keep your eyes on the road man :)
TashaRuber 0
Did u crash into somethin:o
upyourzlolz 11
I think if OP crashed, it would've been in the FML.
moop256 10
Unless he sustained a head injury and forgot about it :D
bitchslapped22 14
Jokes on her, she's gonna die from a car crash
s1ckpup 0
like a true neighbor state farm is there... With a coffin waitin for you... If you stay with that psychotic bitch
Calyx_fml 22
Insecure women are VERY unattractive.
Jibblets2367 7
Stay away from sexy women, and pictures of sexy women. This was a warning, next time you wont live to post it on FMyLife
perdix 31
Death before dishonor.