Love: Today, my mother felt the need to remind me not to fall in love...

By DontBeRude - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mother felt the need to remind me not to fall in love with a fictional character. After laughing and reassuring her that I knew the difference between fiction and reality, she replied, "You know, honey, sometimes I'm not so sure." FML

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Love

Serious times

One law for me…

Make it work

By teach - Canada

Today, at the elementary school where I teach, the kids all voted for their favorite teacher. I was the only one to receive zero votes. When I asked a small group of students why no one voted for me, one boy replied "because you're the ugliest". FML

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By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 08:02

Take care

Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML

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By anon_1996 - United Kingdom - Haslemere

Today, my boss asked me to read through a document. I gave my feedback, saying it seemed like it had been written by an 8-year-old. Turns out it was in fact written by him. FML

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By milkymoo - Cyprus

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

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By really - United States

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML

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By not paid enough - United States - Antioch

Today, I got written up for asking my coworker a question that I should have asked my boss to ask my coworker. Yay bureaucracy. FML

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By sasquatch - United States - Katonah

Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML

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By ooops - United States

Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/4/2021 17:01

We were on a break!

Today, it's been two weeks since my girlfriend of many years and I decided to take a short break from each other. We'd been fighting a lot and felt like some space would help the situation. I found out today that, at some point during those two weeks, she decided to go and have sex with my (now ex) best friend. FML

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By sdeeter - United States

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my entire school differentiates me from another girl in my grade with the same name by saying "No, she's the lesbian one." I'm straight. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I spent 6 hours unloading boxes into my new apartment. After unloading the entire truck and making trips up and down two flights of stairs, I heard a knock on the door. Apparently the landlord gave me the key to the WRONG apartment. Mine is downstairs. FML

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By hail science!

Heretic!

Today, my sister-in-law is refusing to let me or my children be a part of her kids' lives. She’s even going as far as trying to make my brother stop speaking to us as well. Why? Simply because I'm an atheist. FML

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By anonymous - Canada

Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset so I politely asked where is bathroom was so I could "powder my nose". After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML

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By magomag - United States - Fair Lawn

Today, I learned if you type my full name in Google Images, the 3rd thing that comes up is a naked woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star, and most people at school stopped talking to me. FML

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By whitey - Australia

Today, I went to the beach. After applying sunscreen liberally and doing my best to stay out of the sun, I came home with the worst sunburn I have ever had. I almost needed to go to the hospital. I am officially too pale to be allowed outside in summer. FML

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By sucker - United States - Duluth

Alexa, play "I'm Not In Love" by 10CC

Today, I went on a date I was really enjoying. My ex-boyfriend called halfway through. When I answered, he told me he wanted to get back together and couldn’t stop thinking about me. I didn’t realize my phone was on speaker. My date heard everything. FML

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By FML136969 - United States - Oxford

Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

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By ButtWorthSingingBout - United States - Phoenix

Today, my boyfriend finally played the new guitar I bought to replace the one he broke. He used a $1000 guitar to play me a moving song about my butt. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in school and spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her I broke her nose. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of almost 6 years has put me in debt over $33,000. FML

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By invasive species

Today, my step-mom tried to ground me. I met her just yesterday, when she moved in. FML

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By marriagesux - United States

Today, marks the second week straight without sex. Being a newlywed isn't as great as I thought. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/7/2020 08:02

Lingo

Today, I was alarmed to hear my daughter's boyfriend talk about dropping the kids off at the pool. She has no children. Turns out he was referring to himself taking a dump. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, my wooden floor gave me a splinter on the bottom of my foot. I don't have the flexibility nor the eyesight to find it. FML

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By StupidSecurityConsultant

Today, I was supposed to do a month's work presentation at the company I work for. They skipped over my presentation, because they needed time for the "weight loss" competition presentation. FML

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By Nearly blind

Today, I forgot my contact solution and used my sister's. When I put them in, my eyes burnt like hell. Apparently my sister has a new solution that is acidic and only gets neutralized after 12 hours in a special container. The warning is on the INSIDE of the bottle label. FML

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By ringhider - France

Today, I was working my shift at the restaurant as a waiter when the girl I've been in love with for 4 years came in with her boyfriend. He asked me to hide the ring in their dessert. FML

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By Pouya - United States

Today, it was my first day as a promoted manager. I got fired for being late. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/2/2021 11:01 - Canada - Mirabel

Fuck this pandemic

Today, working from home and to escape my own toddler, I moved my work area into the bedroom. Perfect timing for the neighbor's toddler to scream at the top of his lungs. All day long, underneath my bedroom. I just wanted some peace and quiet to work. FML

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By Someone - Canada - Windsor

Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML

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By DDboy

Going pro

Today, I got yelled at by one of the managers at my store for tucking in my shirt in the crew room. She called it unprofessional and offensive. It was my first day. FML

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By Panda_Bearr - United States

Today, it was my last day at my dad's. I thought he'd want to say goodbye, instead he told me, "Hope you've got all your shit. Anything you leave, I'm burning." FML

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By cerulean

Today, a nurse berated me for not being able to lift my leg myself so she could put a cast on. My leg is broken in two places. FML

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By nick - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

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By astraboy - Australia

Today, I spent 3 hours making a birthday card for my boyfriend, delicately cutting each letter out of printed coloured paper. He used it as a coffee coaster. FML

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By Brendan - Canada

Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML

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By KillMeNow - United States

Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML

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By stalked - United States - Bel Air

Today, I found out that the person who has been stalking me has also been stalking someone else. I got upset. It seems it took being stalked to make me feel good about myself. FML

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Top comments

By DestinyNiya | 33

#6422105 - Monday 28 September 2015 14:04

Don't worry, OP, we all feel you.

By Psyker_Girl | 13

#6422111 - Monday 28 September 2015 14:06

Don't worry, we all love Dean Winchester.

COMMENTS

By DestinyNiya | 33

#6422105 - Monday 28 September 2015 14:04

Don't worry, OP, we all feel you.

Brandi_Faith | 33

#6422708 - Tuesday 29 September 2015 6:30

Who hasn't fallen in love with a fictional character?

By abattior | 18

#6422106 - Monday 28 September 2015 14:04

Guess she's the one you need to be worried about.

DaRito | 25

#6422300 - Monday 28 September 2015 20:27

... For looking out for her daughter's weird fandom behavior?

By spicypie | 10

#6422108 - Monday 28 September 2015 14:05

We've all been there, don't worry op!

By vikky538 | 28

#6422109 - Monday 28 September 2015 14:05

Was it about twilight?

jadeleepenguin | 29

#6422114 - Monday 28 September 2015 14:06

Are you stuck in 2008?

SystemofaBlink41 | 27

#6423238 - Tuesday 29 September 2015 23:10

You're so two thousand and late.

By uglytwin | 15

#6422110 - Monday 28 September 2015 14:06

We fangirls are here for you.

By Psyker_Girl | 13

#6422111 - Monday 28 September 2015 14:06

Don't worry, we all love Dean Winchester.

KRYPYAT | 14

#6422130 - Monday 28 September 2015 14:34

Squirrel FTW!

christopherwilli | 14

#6422144 - Monday 28 September 2015 15:00

When did supernatural make it to FML?

Psyker_Girl | 13

#6422152 - Monday 28 September 2015 15:35

Supernatural is everywhere.

makeupgirl_fml | 22

#6422177 - Monday 28 September 2015 16:20

TRUTH!

DoomedGemini | 37

#6422237 - Monday 28 September 2015 18:34

Gotta say, I prefer Sam myself.

coatl45 | 11

#6422254 - Monday 28 September 2015 19:17

I've given up on falling for the girls in Supernatural. They all die.

hplover32 | 17

#6422273 - Monday 28 September 2015 19:53

Yes we do!!!

xxsakuraxx | 29

#6422394 - Monday 28 September 2015 22:55

I'm a Dean girl, but I'm Sam-curious.

xxsakuraxx | 29

#6422395 - Monday 28 September 2015 23:01

Supernatural is EVERYWHERE! There is no escaping it. In the 'heat of the moment' our fandom will salt and burn your fandom. There is nothing left for you to do, so 'carry on my wayward son.'