Love: Today, my mother felt the need to remind me not to fall in love...

By DontBeRude - 28/09/2015 04:05 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mother felt the need to remind me not to fall in love with a fictional character. After laughing and reassuring her that I knew the difference between fiction and reality, she replied, "You know, honey, sometimes I'm not so sure." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 401

You deserved it 3 835

Love

Late term

Stalker vibes

Or does he?

By breadcrumb - 06/07/2015 06:03 - United States - Kansas City

Today, while at work, a customer, who was also on his phone, rudely asked what kinds of bread we had for his sandwich. After I told him we had many different kinds to offer, he cut me off, told me to stop playing stupid, and stormed out after holding up a long line of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 858

You deserved it 2 083

By WTF - 07/03/2011 09:19

Today, I was awoken by my neighbor pounding on my back door at 3 am, only to look outside and see my car engulfed in flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 026

You deserved it 3 054

Alexa, play Men's Needs by The Cribs

By Anonymous - 11/05/2021 06:01

Today, I caught my husband setting up an affair with my old school-friend. I have chronic pain, a hormone imbalance and some other issues that means I'm losing interest in being intimate at all. It hurts. I don't enjoy this either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 193

You deserved it 170

Glittery letters

By Anonymous - 27/01/2020 18:00

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 116

You deserved it 421

By Anonymous - 24/05/2011 03:19 - Canada

Today, my boss contacted me to come in for a quick meeting. I drove 30 minutes to get to work only to find out she was firing me and wanted my key card back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 912

You deserved it 2 909

By prick - 30/10/2015 21:53 - United States - Dover

Today, as I rung up a customer's groceries, he gave me a pitying look and said I'd have a "real job" if I'd only studied harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 887

You deserved it 2 136

By LittleRed - 05/03/2012 08:45 - United States

Today, I got more turned on by the idea of sex with my boyfriend than actually doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 922

You deserved it 4 248

By KathleenSchuler - 05/03/2013 03:38 - United States

Today, I took a week off work because my father passed away. I was at the funeral home making arrangements when I overheard the owners complaining about how their insurance agent had left them to fend for themselves. I'm their insurance agent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 085

You deserved it 3 572

Oh lawd, he comin'

By logkitty - 10/04/2012 04:35 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was sitting in my car outside my apartment complex when a man came around the corner holding something shiny, and I thought was a gun. Thinking I was about to get robbed at gunpoint, I bugged out and threw up. It was a silver watering can. He asked if I was okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 532

You deserved it 12 780

By Missedtheboat - 30/10/2009 23:29 - United States

Today, I finished making an awesome costume for a Halloween party my crush was attending. I then checked the invite and found out the party was last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 652

You deserved it 32 539

By Embarrassed Swimmer - 11/12/2011 07:23 - Australia

Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 710

You deserved it 18 514

By Notyourstepmom - 07/09/2009 18:22 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time. She greeted us holding a baby, and I told her how cute her son was. She told me that it was her grandson. Turns out my boyfriend is the father. We're 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 386

You deserved it 4 450

By waterdog - 18/04/2011 20:12 - United States

Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 525

You deserved it 4 336

By sonice - 18/08/2015 03:39 - United States - Duluth

Today, a guy asked me out on Facebook, then called me a conceited bitch when I said no. I don't know, dude; maybe it's just that I already have a boyfriend, that you asked me out on Facebook, and that you posted the same message on 4 other girls' walls as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 380

You deserved it 1 862

By brokenhome - 25/01/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my apartment got robbed. My 'book-in-progress' should keep them company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 775

You deserved it 2 642

By Bridget Jones? - 10/06/2013 13:09 - United Kingdom - Wolverhampton

Today, I found out that my family has a bet on how long I will be single for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 399

You deserved it 5 110

Sticky situation

By Anonymous - 19/01/2021 05:02

Today, my boss keeps pointing out similarities between his wife and me. I genuinely dislike her, and have feelings for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 946

By JellitonOctopus - 25/01/2012 04:51 - United States

Today, I received a package from an unknown address. Inside were doll heads and cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 933

You deserved it 2 644

By sciencetime - 10/12/2016 11:33

Today, I had environmental science class. My teacher doesn't believe humans are affecting climate change or that we should protect endangered species. He slants class discussions so now all my classmates agree with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 100

You deserved it 1 098

By FatRunner - 05/11/2009 07:41 - New Zealand

Today, while going for my daily run, a woman stopped me and said, "I think it's so great that people of your size are comfortable enough to run and show their bodies in public." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 890

You deserved it 5 258

By Nobody - 27/11/2009 21:39 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 451

You deserved it 3 242

Vinted-ed

By whywouldudothat - 19/04/2020 02:00

Today, my mom sold my watch collection on Vinted. I've spent over 15 years on the collection and I don't even live with my mom. I'm still wondering how she got in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 986

You deserved it 108

By noluckwhatsoever - 06/01/2010 16:44 - United States

Today, after months of job hunting, I got a call back for a position. I was outside at the time and had no pen or paper available to write the address down. I told the guy to call me back in 5 minutes and he agreed. It's been 3 hours and still no call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 981

You deserved it 30 456

By Anonymous - 01/11/2011 00:36 - United States

Today, one of my neighbors dressed up in the exact same costume as me. Every house I go to refuses to give me candy because my neighbor has already been there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 234

You deserved it 3 488

Gentrification strikes!

By Anonymous - 05/03/2020 06:01

Today, I actually can't choose what's worse, hearing my direct neighbour having really loud sex on a regular basis, including furniture breaking, or hearing people cheering and playing the piano in the same room. Upper-class fantasy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320

You deserved it 220

Freudian intensifies

By mouthwash - 11/11/2014 05:05 - United States - Gallipolis

Today, I had a dream where I was cuddling with a girl. She rolled over to face me, snuggled up into the crook of my neck, then muttered in disgust, "Ugh, your breath stinks!" Cock-blocked in my own dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 690

You deserved it 4 589

By Anonyme - 24/04/2014 06:57 - France - Aix-en-provence

Today, on a train, I nearly choked while sleeping with my mouth wide open. The little old lady sitting opposite me was entertaining herself by throwing little pieces of balled-up tin foil into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 916

You deserved it 7 734

By Alex - 08/05/2016 19:12 - United States

Today, after spending $120 to have a bouquet of flowers delivered to my mom, she called to complain that I had forgotten about her for Mother's day, but also praise my sister for apparently receiving my flowers I sent at the door and passing them off as hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 615

You deserved it 902

By Anonymous - 24/01/2017 20:00

Today, my hand fell asleep while I was masturbating. My own body rejected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 789

You deserved it 1 573

By Criminal - 13/07/2010 23:15 - United States

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 908

You deserved it 49 234

By trgtyo - 18/05/2009 23:20 - United States

Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our livingroom wall with a painted one. Of our German Sheperd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 652

You deserved it 3 596

By NestHead - 01/10/2013 17:32 - Russian Federation - Moscow

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 013

You deserved it 5 851

By susiedoggles - 05/11/2018 08:00 - United States - Milford

Today, getting home after a long day of work, my boyfriend came running out of the house. Being silly, I thought he was excited to see me. Nope - he was excited to show me the squirrel he shot. In the house. Apparently, we have house squirrels and a boatload of holes in the floor and couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 945

You deserved it 292

By Damian - 22/04/2011 11:11

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 817

You deserved it 6 635

By beanpole - 19/12/2016 19:34 - Canada - Canning

Today, I had to cancel plans to go to the movies with the guy I've had a crush on for months due to a sudden case of the flu. This was already rescheduled from yesterday, when I had to cancel due to bad weather (after he had already left home). He thinks that I'm just making excuses not to see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 071

You deserved it 1 132

By Dave - 07/02/2017 06:00 - United States

Today, a vendor contacted me to let me know that our contract renewal went through. Turns out, I misread our original contract and now I've obligated our company to buy $24k of services, when my boss wanted to cancel it. It's only February and I already know I'm not getting a bonus this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 998

You deserved it 2 532

By Anonymous - 28/08/2013 18:50 - United States - Bessemer

Today, while working at a client's house, I noticed that their sliding calendar was several months off. I fixed it. Later the daughter saw and started crying. Apparently the date was the last one her mother had set it to before she died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 872

You deserved it 58 811

By Anonymous - 20/01/2010 06:50 - United States

Today, my older brother and I were teasing our mom about her age. When we jokingly told her it was hard for us to watch our parents get old, she responded by saying "yeah, well, it's hard for me to watch my kids grow up and not have anyone who wants to marry them". FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 309

You deserved it 47 353

By Anonymous - 02/07/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 931

You deserved it 8 610

By nofriends - 01/06/2011 04:28 - Japan

Today, I wrote in my own yearbook with different styles of handwriting so my mom would think I have friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 278

You deserved it 15 014

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Top comments

DestinyNiya 33

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Monday 28 September 2015 14:04

Don't worry, OP, we all feel you.

Psyker_Girl 13

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Monday 28 September 2015 14:06

Don't worry, we all love Dean Winchester.

DestinyNiya 33

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Monday 28 September 2015 14:04

Don't worry, OP, we all feel you.

Brandi_Faith 33

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Tuesday 29 September 2015 6:30

Who hasn't fallen in love with a fictional character?

abattior 18

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Monday 28 September 2015 14:04

Guess she's the one you need to be worried about.

DaRito 25

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Monday 28 September 2015 20:27

... For looking out for her daughter's weird fandom behavior?

spicypie 10

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Monday 28 September 2015 14:05

We've all been there, don't worry op!

vikky538 28

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Monday 28 September 2015 14:05

Was it about twilight?

jadeleepenguin 29

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Monday 28 September 2015 14:06

Are you stuck in 2008?

SystemofaBlink41 27

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Tuesday 29 September 2015 23:10

You're so two thousand and late.

uglytwin 15

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Monday 28 September 2015 14:06

We fangirls are here for you.

Psyker_Girl 13

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Monday 28 September 2015 14:06

Don't worry, we all love Dean Winchester.

KRYPYAT 14

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Monday 28 September 2015 14:34

Squirrel FTW!

christopherwilli 14

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Monday 28 September 2015 15:00

When did supernatural make it to FML?

Psyker_Girl 13

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Monday 28 September 2015 15:35

Supernatural is everywhere.

makeupgirl_fml 22

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Monday 28 September 2015 16:20

TRUTH!

DoomedGemini 37

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Monday 28 September 2015 18:34

Gotta say, I prefer Sam myself.

coatl45 11

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Monday 28 September 2015 19:17

I've given up on falling for the girls in Supernatural. They all die.

hplover32 17

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Monday 28 September 2015 19:53

Yes we do!!!

xxsakuraxx 29

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Monday 28 September 2015 22:55

I'm a Dean girl, but I'm Sam-curious.

xxsakuraxx 29

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Monday 28 September 2015 23:01

Supernatural is EVERYWHERE! There is no escaping it. In the 'heat of the moment' our fandom will salt and burn your fandom. There is nothing left for you to do, so 'carry on my wayward son.'