Today, I ended up in an awkward position during sex and dislocated my knee. My wife accused me of doing it on purpose to criticize her for being too fat and heavy for sex. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML
Today, my wife asked when I was going back to the gym because I am developing a belly, which she finds disgusting. I've just had surgery on my thigh, which was her fault for asking, “What’s this thing do?” while grabbing the handle to the jack holding up my car, dropping the car on my leg. FML
Today, my wife yelled at me for not helping her rearrange the furniture. I have a sprained shoulder and have been ordered by my doctor to avoid heavy lifting. She said, "Move the couch or sleep on it." FML
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, I tried to impress my wife by doing a bunch of push-ups, despite having a bad shoulder. She told me my form sucks and that I'm an idiot. Now I can barely move my arm and I'm going to have to get it fixed. FML
Today, the whole time my husband and I had sex, my stomach flab violently slapped my thighs. The harder he pumped, the louder the slapping got. Time to lose some weight. FML
Today, my wife was in labour and bouncing on her inflatable ball to relieve the pain when it popped. This thing has lasted her entire pregnancy and it chose to burst now, sending her crashing to the floor groin first while 8 cm dilated. And as the husband, it is of course all my fault, you bastard. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML
Today, I was naked and the wife tried to flick my bum with a wet towel. Unfortunately I bent over at the wrong moment and the towel cracked right against the underside of my dangling penis. The whole underside is bruised, it hurts to pee, and God help me tomorrow if I get morning wood. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
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Top comments
kujiens101 24
We all know that classic move. What do you do when your wife’s too fat but you don’t know how to tell her? Dislocate your knee during sex. That’ll teach her.
mt21mt 15
Wtf does your sob story have to do with this fml? Cry for attention much?
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Comments (19)
kujiens101 24
We all know that classic move. What do you do when your wife’s too fat but you don’t know how to tell her? Dislocate your knee during sex. That’ll teach her.
Ali Rizvi 10
He showed her alright.
DragonMaiden7 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Um... I don’t know it... I’m a virgin (It’s hard to build up self confidence for dating and just difficult in general having sex when you’re disabled from the waist down. Not impossible, just difficult)
Arashikage 18
Since we're sharing unrelated sob stories I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep
mt21mt 15
Wtf does your sob story have to do with this fml? Cry for attention much?
DragonMaiden7 15
I was replying to the comment, not the OP himself. Since when is not knowing which sex positions can injure you and explaining why you don’t know a sob story? And I still don’t know the move in question
Cali 54
The 'move' is dislocating the knee (and it's sarcastic). Read the comment again!
RichardPencil 30
Time to let the diarrhea fly and change the subject!
TheJawsman 18
I guess an x-ray showing your dislocated knee and/or an official doctor's note wouldn't convince her of the gravity of her response. I mean, if you blame anything, blame gravity :P
BrotherPhil 35
Probably not - the wife isn't saying that OP didn't dislocated their knee - she's saying that OP did it deliberately.
thatslifeiguess7 16
he would need an mri
Beefy_McQueefy 6
It's kinda sad your wife's self esteem is so low, she thinks that popping a knee out of place was about her weight. Anyway, pop a boner, pop a knee - way to go ,you!
neuronerd 29
Only way I can envision a dislocated knee being a result of someone's weight were if you were standing and lifting her, and if you could do that in the first place, it means she's very light and/or you're very strong, likely both. Hope your knee gets better and you get to go back to banging your wife soon!
boopingsnoot 24
So, her immediate response is to assume you're going to blame her and wants to say it first. Do you usually blame her for stuff, or does she usually play thr victim? There's two ways I'm reading this situation.
thatslifeiguess7 16
omg tell your wife to get a grip! my hip, knee or back goes out all the time. my wife goes and gets ice not bitch about something I cant control
5th_point_of_contact 8
I’m wondering exactly how he was trying to get a leg over here ??
Notmymonkeysnotmycircus 16
Freudian slip?
TheBipolarMutant 2
time to call your lawyer.