Today, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me because I didn't fight some guy that started hitting her right in front of me... In a dream. She was totally serious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me because I got her pregnant and didn't own up to it. I wouldn't have blamed her if it didn't actually happen in her dream. FML
Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months called me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumped me "just in case." FML
Today, I woke up from an amazing dream I was having about my girlfriend. We were laughing and holding hands, the kind of dream I wanted to stay asleep for. When I finally got up, I was excited to tell her about the dream but then I remembered. We broke up a week ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I was learning how to start having lucid dreams. She was convinced the only reason I could possibly want to have them was so I could cheat on her in my own dreams. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for cheating on him with his best friend… in a dream he had last night. I was upset at first, but then I remembered what day it is, and laughed at his silly "prank". He was completely serious. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML
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Top comments
devaraja42 0
How is that a bad thing? At least now you might find somebody with a good amount of common sense.
bob1124 0
I ******* hate it when people blame you for things you did in THEIR dreams. My mother used to do that to me all the time.
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Comments (183)
papertigers_fml 0
wow. sometimes dreams mean something... but most of the time they don't mean shit. well, you're better off.
Kyorakyu 0
Tell her her dream was false and instead you went bankai Hollow on that dude. if she doesn't believe you then it's just a bullshit excuse.
mike1921 0
No more bleach for you....Seriously. I love that show but ....THe only reason you'd bring it into a context like this is obsession
JulzKay 0
That sucks, man! My mom was paranoid about me going to coffee anywhere she had never been, with the guy I was dating, because she had a dream that a guy and I were murdered in a coffee shop. o_O
juneping 0
i think you're pretty much better off without her. she seems like a nut case.
your_mother 0
YDI for bein a pussy
reneetim 0
that sucks, but she probably just needed a reason to break up and thats all she could think of.
HXCxSceneKidx 0
Crazy bitch
judgeymcjudge 0
... Do you honestly believe that was the real reason? You're an idiot, dude. And really, I have to hand it to her - I think that is the most creative excuse I have heard of to date. Bullshit artist of the year award goes straight to her. Dumbass of the year goes to you if you think that she meant it.
marz88 0
Do you really think the OP believes her? And how do you know she is not a crazy bitch? The excuse really isn't that creative, just dumb and makes her look like a lunatic. He is probably thinking "Wow my ex did not even respect me enough/think I am smart enough to give me a real reason to break up". Dumb bitch of the year award goes to her, lucky I got out of a relationship with a crazy person award goes to him.
judgeymcjudge 0
lol, she doesn't look like a lunatic, because no one in their right minds would actually believe it and she knows it. I bet she's off laughing with her friends about it right now. And if he does believe her, then he deserves the total lack of respect and the lie. If he doesn't, then he's just another boring tool who posted it on FML for attention instead of actually meaning it. Either way, he's a dick and she gets the win here.
ireply_w_lyrics 0
"...Baby, why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go I was counting on forever, now I'll never know I cant even breathe It's like I'm, looking from a distance, standing in the background Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now, This can't be happening to me This is just a dream..."
omgitslaurrrrr 0
YDI for not being Chuck Norris
pasiphae9 5
No, YOU deserve it for not being Chuck Norris. How dare you, you prick!