Love, Money and School: Today, my girlfriend got paid by the richest guy in our school... - FML

By single - 15/12/2017 10:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, my girlfriend got paid by the richest guy in our school to go to the Winter Formal with him. She took up the offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 150

You deserved it 491

Love Money School

Compromises

Taking stock

Best teeth in the game

By Ferniferousfern - 06/03/2019 16:00

Today, my boyfriend of several years outright refuses to come to my best friend's wedding, on the grounds he'll be "bored". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 113

You deserved it 418

By Anonymous - 10/08/2019 22:00

Today, I found my boyfriend browsing tablet PCs on the internet. He actually had a tablet until a while ago, but he hardly ever used it. He still has two smartphones, a desktop PC and a laptop he never uses. But yeah, sure, he needs a tablet. Because, "they're cheap." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 324

You deserved it 252

Stuck on amber

By Anonymous - 01/10/2020 07:58 - United States - Greensburg

Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 170

By Anonymous - 09/05/2013 16:01 - United States

Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 162

You deserved it 3 297

By thepokemonkid - 27/02/2013 05:03 - United States - Avon

Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 251

You deserved it 4 123

By Mary C. - 23/03/2015 01:58 - United States - Mendota

Today, while my in-laws were visiting, my two-year old accidentally pushed the door wide open while I was sitting on the toilet. My mother-in-law laughed, took out her cell phone, snapped a picture of me and posted it on Facebook for everyone in our family to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 458

You deserved it 3 540

By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 01:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to be romantic and literally sweep me off my feet... directly into a door frame. Now my face is bruised, and the police officer at my school has asked me if I need to make a report about anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 248

You deserved it 2 414

By hanmart - 15/11/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 368

You deserved it 2 621

By yogabbagabba - 03/09/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 170

You deserved it 38 694

By masterofblues - 24/07/2009 04:18 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. As everything was ending, I tried to save the relationship by telling her how much I cared about her. Her response? "Please stop. You're gonna make me feel bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 495

You deserved it 8 468

By Anonymous - 06/03/2011 11:28 - Reserved

Spicy

Today, my husband told me I was lucky to have someone who would love me no matter what my vagina smelled like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 516

You deserved it 22 910

By candymansvan17 - 17/08/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 391

You deserved it 3 221

By izhamilton - 20/02/2010 05:30 - United States

Today, after flying halfway across the world to see the man I love, he admitted cheating on me several days before I arrived, not only with someone I know, but with someone I hate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 955

You deserved it 2 753

By Samantha - 30/10/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 168

You deserved it 42 815

By kimm1993 - 03/08/2013 04:29 - United States - Chicago

Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 635

You deserved it 8 428

Boozed up

By speechless - 13/07/2013 14:32 - United States - Mitchell

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 055

You deserved it 4 599

By uneek_3225 - 22/10/2009 05:53 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 086

You deserved it 3 472

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 831

You deserved it 2 283

It's hot!

By joyf - 08/12/2019 20:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend's parents came over. It got hot, so I took off the jacket I was wearing, but I forgot I wasn't wearing a shirt underneath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 2 347

By yeetyeet - 06/01/2019 12:00

Today, we had an emergency lock down drill. The closest room to me was the bathroom, so I rushed in and went into one of the stalls, like I was supposed to only to find out that a girl in the stall next to me was shitting. And it didn't seem like she was going to be done anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 080

You deserved it 319

Honor amongst maids

By Anonymous - 11/03/2020 09:00

Today, a good friend from childhood, who was my maid of honor four years ago, got married. Without me knowing about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 187

By insurance lies - 08/07/2013 14:48 - United States

Today, I had to get an MRI. I double and triple checked to make sure there was no out-of-pocket cost. When I arrived at the testing center, I was expected to pay full price for the test. It costs $2,360. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 468

You deserved it 3 915

By looking4newvenue - 23/02/2015 20:49 - United States

Today, my wedding venue called and canceled our reservation because we were double booked with a spaghetti bingo night, which they felt was more important. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 522

You deserved it 2 951

By 12693 - 24/10/2012 17:35 - Australia - Perth

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 520

You deserved it 2 094

Foot in mouth

By oopsjsp90 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I told a lady that came into my clothing store that I thought her abstract looking necklace was pretty. She responded, "Oh… That's actually a pipe that goes into my lung." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 383

You deserved it 8 657

By me - 06/09/2009 21:33 - United States

Today, I met some of my boyfriend's family for the first time. His aunt said I was really cute, which made me happy. As we were leaving I said "Your aunt thought I was cute." His reply..."Yeah, well, my aunt's on drugs". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 546

You deserved it 4 296

By dannij08 - 27/01/2009 16:47 - United States

Today, I hid my credit card from myself so I wouldn't use it. Now I can't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 278

You deserved it 49 176

By embarassinggg - 06/02/2013 18:57 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to "stop sticking your butt out". My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 466

You deserved it 2 460

By sofargone420 - 29/07/2011 14:27 - United States

Today, I was in a restroom sitting on the toilet, when the guy right next to me noticed my AC/DC boxers around my ankles and started to sing "Back in Black." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 560

You deserved it 10 498

Sticky situation

By borderlinebaddie - 04/11/2021 14:00

Today, my grandmother, who I live with, turned the heat off in our house because she went through my private, personal notes on how I wanted to spend my paycheck, and she was mad that I used some of it to help the father of my not-yet-born child, who's struggling financially, make his car payments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 224

By Work_sucks - 29/11/2016 07:05

Today, I'm facing a disciplinary hearing at work because I occasionally fail to click the door properly shut when I leave the office and this is very upsetting to one of the six colleagues I share my office with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 011

You deserved it 1 342

By Anonymous - 26/12/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, the painting I worked on for three weeks was rejected from an art contest because the rules prohibit fan art. It wasn't fan art. They mistook it for Twilight fan art. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 681

You deserved it 8 132

By Anonymous - 05/11/2009 17:28 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 765

You deserved it 4 186

By notsohappyniece - 02/11/2009 16:10 - United States

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 834

You deserved it 3 757

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 12:14 - Canada - Saint-laurent

Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 648

You deserved it 5 302

By Hopeless romantic - 16/08/2014 06:20 - Australia - Perth

Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 441

You deserved it 10 288

By secretninja64 - 21/08/2014 03:47 - United States - Saint Francis

Today, I got fired after three days at my new job. They told me it was because of downsizing. They were still interviewing people and had a help wanted sign in the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 709

You deserved it 4 857

By ben - 18/09/2009 06:17 - United States

Today, I took my 5 year-old son to the barber shop. When the man finishes with him, I tell the guy, "while we're here, I might as well get a trim too." My son then exclaims very loudly in front of a very full barber's shop, "Dad! You don't need a haircut, you need hair!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 867

You deserved it 6 664

By glam300 - 30/12/2010 18:21 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend commented on my short skirt and, thinking she was being funny, tried to pull it down. I quickly moved away, causing it to come off in her hands. My shocked scream attracted the attention of at least a dozen bystanders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 420

You deserved it 7 668

By Anonymous - 05/07/2009 23:20 - Canada

Today, I had to be go to the ER after I fell on a rake. After having stiches put in, my Mom wanted me to go to the store with her. My friend saw me at the store and thought it would be funny to rip off the band aid because she thought I was hiding a zit. She ripped out my stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 521

You deserved it 3 019

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Friday 15 December 2017 14:50

Be thankful you now know that your ex is basically a call girl. There is no trusting her.

pjsr 32

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Friday 15 December 2017 20:36

Ewwww! How repulsive is this guy that even as the richest guy in school, he still has to pay someone to go out with him?

Comments

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Friday 15 December 2017 14:50

Be thankful you now know that your ex is basically a call girl. There is no trusting her.

mt21mt 15

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Friday 15 December 2017 19:31

And I bet she will expect you to be happy when she buys you a little gift with part of the money.

Adam Dessouki 13

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Friday 15 December 2017 19:46

Over my many years of life experiences, I’ve learnt one lesson and I live by it. “Love is trash, bitches need cash” Now I’m never sad, and always got a $100 in dollar bills.

feckarsedrink 9

Friday 15 December 2017 19:54

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

jkjorn 15

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Friday 15 December 2017 20:06

Let me guess, the formal was at the Snowboard Academy?

ohsnapword 21

Friday 15 December 2017 20:13

Did they do this on The Simpsons?

pjsr 32

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Friday 15 December 2017 20:36

Ewwww! How repulsive is this guy that even as the richest guy in school, he still has to pay someone to go out with him?

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Saturday 16 December 2017 13:35

Perhaps, its only OP's girlfriend that he wants to go to the dance with. He has to pay only because she isn't available.

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Tuesday 2 January 2018 9:52

Just to show that money can't buy a decent personality.

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Friday 15 December 2017 20:37

Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas..... Well, at least now you know.

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Friday 15 December 2017 20:39

Every girl has a price. Every girl.

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Friday 15 December 2017 21:44

I was offered a million dollars to go on ten "dates" with some old guy. I said no. Not every girl has a price.

RichardPencil 30

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Friday 15 December 2017 22:31

A hundred million?

onceuponatime456 16

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Friday 15 December 2017 22:50

No you weren't!

ohsnapword 21

Saturday 16 December 2017 5:59

Wow, I'd pay a million for you to stay away from me.

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Saturday 16 December 2017 6:07

@onceuponatime456 - Yeah. I was. He contacted me over Facebook. I ended up blocking him because he wouldn't stop messaging me, trying to convince me to say yes. @ohsnapword - I'll take you up on that offer. Feel free to DM me your bank info.

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Saturday 16 December 2017 21:14

I highly doubt that he had a million dollars to offer

PhantomCrevan 8

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Sunday 17 December 2017 2:56

You do realize that if every woman has a price, so does every man? You literally could have just said "everyone has a price" and your comment would have had the same meaning *without* the casual sexism. Also, no, not everyone has a price, because there will always be someone that will choose their principles over the money, even if it's just to be contrary.

RichardPencil 30

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Friday 15 December 2017 22:30

Indecent Proposal. Be suspicious if she seems to have a lot more money than the agreed-upon payment.

Nearly

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 11

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 17

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I found out I’m going to be a father, twice over, with two different women. Sisters, in fact. Only one of those sisters is my wife. Should I flee abroad, or walk calmly towards the firing squad straight away? FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 2 289

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 194