Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for refusing to have anything to do with "our" pet snake. The same snake I told him not to buy for his son a few months ago, because I knew the kid would get bored with it and dump the responsibility onto us. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML
Today, I bought a turtle after wanting one for years. I was told that he was scared, so he would be put in a box for me to take home. It wasn't until I got to my car that I noticed that they sold me a dead turtle. I'm not getting a refund because they claimed I killed it in less than 5 minutes. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don't understand the bond between him and his stuffed goose. He's 36. FML
Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML
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Top comments
arela 0
give it away give it away give it away now
under_estimated 0
i would just give the turtle away
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Comments (366)
diamondshark 0
KILL IT!!! ... I love animals, but that just sounds like a terrible burden.
Neznat 0
Turtle is Ok. My ex has left me a puppy. And it was HIS idea to have a dog "together". The dog is 20 kilos already and growing.
yourstruly21 0
It'll probably die in a few months if you don't take care of it
TJStarzZ 8
Hmmm two things... A. If you let HER decide to buy the turle, it wasn't a decision you made 'together'...why couldn't you just grow a pair of balls and tell her to take it if you won't care for it? B. Owning pets since I was age 4, I know treating animals is a delicate process. Whatever you do, don't harm the poor guy in spite of that bitch of an ex you had. Take advice of SOME users: Fidn a good home or caretaker to donate him to, Or just research on a pet website or local retailer on how to take care of him. Some things are common sense, also. Hopefully, you'll do what's right, and good luck to Andre. :D
Cittenscollar 0
Animal shelters and rescue groups would be very willing to take the turtle off your hands. Please do that instead of the incredibly irresponsible other suggestions you're getting, such as killing it and just giving it away to somebody who probably will care for it just as much as you do. And this, my friends, is why you should think before getting a pet. Next time, see how long they live BEFORE getting it.
98_PACKERS 0
wow, this stupid crap gets approved on fml but so far two of my stories that leave this one in the dust did not. who approves these things? here is a few ideas, give it away, throw it in a lake, leave it on someones doorstep. who cares. you dont want the turtle, so why trip about it. i happen to like turtles, but this is not an fml situation and i dont know why the hell it was published. omg my gf left me and the worst part is i have to take care of this turtle...what a tool!
rabbit_fml 0
LOL
dyld921 2
Simple. Put it up for adoption.
kk89 0
Please Please Please don't release it to a nearby pond!! Here in Ontario, too many people decided they didn't want their red eared sliders, and released them into the wild.... fortunatly for those turtles they took to the wild fine and adapted.... UNFORTUNATLY for the rest of ontario's turtles, their food and territory is now taken over by stupid sliders, and Ontario's natural turtle species are now Species at Risk, partly because of this. Ugh. Some areas have "anonomous drop off ponds" where people can drop off their unwanted pet turtles and someone looks after them all, look into that.
Islander_fml 5
Give to a kid longing for a pet. Or to a pet shop. Or kill it. Or release it into the wild (though other posters have wisely point out that that can **** with the ecosystem). I dunno. But you don't have to keep it.