By Maxwell - 04/02/2010 10:47 - France

Today, my 4 year old son thought it was funny to put money in the shredder. He stuck over 500 dollars in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 484
You deserved it 114

Top comments

Why did you have 500 dollars easily accessible to a child?

Why was a shredder accessible to your four-year-old, for that matter!


Why did you have 500 dollars easily accessible to a child?

it is probably made up so now the poster feels cool to have his FML published. If not the poster is simply a terrible parent to busy on the FML website to properly watch his child.

It doesn't mean the OP is a terrible parent. Do you have children? Have you ever watched children for an extended amount of time? You can not keep your eyes on them at all times. They're quick. The worst is when you're sitting in another room and you realize it's far too quiet. Ive had my nephew get himself stuck on an outside staircase in a matter of 2 minutes. Kids are kids.

Why was a shredder accessible to your four-year-old, for that matter!

GeoThermalSleuth 0

I agree with idkweird on number 8#. I used to be a Children. they have insanely strange minds and they will destroy anything they can. If I found Money when I was 3 or any other kind of Paper I would Shred it to. But my Nieces and Nephew have shown me it's hard to keep track of a Child no Matter how good a Parent you are. Think god I'm still a Teenager and Still Young.

God forbid you watch your kid, put your money out of reach, and/or unplug the shredder when not in use. Some people just shouldn't be allowed to breed. YDI, dumbass.

nolimits, I couldn't have said it better myself.

nolimits: putting the money out of reach, I agree with. As I've pointed out in earlier comments, it is impossible to watch your kid every second of every day. Also, as someone who used to have a shredder for my home office, who the **** wants to plug in and unplug the shredder every time they need it? Most shredders can only shred paper and can't shred fingers. There's no point in shutting it off if there isn't a 4 year old with access to large quantities of money. Im pretty sure the OP wasn't thinking his kid would be in shredding all his money while he was doing something else for a couple minutes. It only takes a couple minutes to do that kind of damage, fyi.

GeoThermalSleuth 0

Cause Its Fun. Way the heck do you care about grammer. Remember the results of your last grammer Nazi session. WE DONT NEED ANOTHER ONE!

GeoThermalSleuth 0

35# I used to be a Children meaning a was once a 5 year old and I know how they think. FYL? Thank you. it's nice to know someone cares.

#61, I think he was poking fun at the fact that children is the plural form of child. So you were basically saying that when you were a "more than one child." lol :)

haydenshaw 0

can't you take the pieces to the bank and get money back in return for the shreds?

pendatic: You're English. Isn't sarcasm how you communicate? lol

GeoThermalSleuth 0

72# Yes that's what I meant. thanks for clarifing that. I like talking weird like that. Also, 75# said he (or she) is going through a Sarcastic Stage? Good for you, Sacrasm is one of the funniest parts of the English Language.

how would you know if it was $500 if you didnt see him do it

ipooprainbows 0

maybe they had the $500 in a purse or wallet, hidden in a closet or something. kids are curious little boogers, you don't think they'll go snooping around to find mischief? i doubt the op had large amounts of cash just lying around. think a little......

PBTH! What does it have to do with parenting? Honestly, parent or no, why would ANYONE. ANYWHERE. Have $500 in cash? Just... around? I understand if you had to make a $500 payment to a place that only accepts cash and you were very nervously taking it directly from the bank to your destination sure. But um... obviously that's not the case.

@som: it's not that odd to have $500 in cash is it? Not everybody uses plastic... My parents are small business owners and every now and then there's thousands of dollars in a paper bag. Not that I ever knew about this when I was little haha. @OP: sucks for you, but you should discipline your child better. I don't think this is a matter of where you put your money or having access to shredder. But even at four, your child shouldn't dare to 'steal' from your purse. Teach him that the shredder isn't a toy. Or have the shredder in an office-only space.

sammv 0

what's with your random capitalization?

MF12 0

he was a Children, not a children. he belonged to a multi-personality cult.

SarahAnne_2009 0

Well then you deserve it when something like this happens to you!

I can understand how children can find money lying around, they're clever. but you should NEVER leave a shredder on or accesable to a young child.

if "kids toys" are paper shredders and $500 in cash... at the very least they are not responsible and likely lack a few basic parenting skills such as "sharp objects bad for kids"

xmagster 0

My thoughts exactly. FYL for losing so much money, but YDI for having it where your kid could get it...

I love how everyone on FML is perfect. idiot y is the shredder out. moron y did u leave money laying around ect. shit happns.

girlygirl666 0

I agree. Amazing, all of the YDIs and the harsh judgement is coming from kids who not only don't have kids themselves, but can remember being 4 year olds like it was, oh idk, yesterday?

girlygirl666 0

@77 YES! yes, yes, yes! If the cereal numbers are intact (or can be re-constructed), you can trade them in. It happens all the time in cases of fire damage.

yeah kids are naughty - but a 4 yr old playing with 500 bucks and a paper shredder - Dumbass parenting

Being a teenager is not an excuse to put capital letters on every two words!

Or you can cover them with milk and eat them with a spoon. ;)

hahahahaahahah ic ant stop laughing at this comment!!!

Buddy, according to you, if a child drowns it wouldn't be the parents fault because he can't watch his or her child at all time? Come on! Everybody knows kids are kids, thats why parents always have to be 3 steps ahead of the child, not the opposite.

Purpose30 0

lmao I was thinking the same thing!!

He's lucky the 4 year old still has fingers.

garltorsa 0

if your ever around kids then you know how they are. sometimes it's a complete mystery on how they get things down from certain places

ginasays 0

THE WORD IS CHILD. you used to be a child.

#8 you're an idiot. People not watching their kids enough is the reason the country is going into the crapper. They expect everyone else to watch their kids then blame media/schools/teachers/politicians when their kids go on shooting sprees. @OP: YDI for not watching the brat.

r u stupid? have u ever watched a child in your life? if u hav and they never did anything bad then id like 2 kno y jesus spawned a kid and y u even need 2 watch it. i have to watch my lil brother and he was just as bad this kid. learn that children r demons and when they stop being demons ill give u $500

Alex, the OP said their four year old SON. I think that qualifies for having watched a child in their life...

@nonotme: I think you misunderstood my comment. I don't think parents shouldn't be responsible for their kids, it's quite the opposite, in fact. What I'm saying is this: We have no idea how the situation happened, so who are we to judge their parenting skills? Personally, when I had a home office, I had a personal shredder. I had to because of the sensitive information I worked with. It was also the type where it was impossible to get fingers in it. So, if my niece or one of my nephews were to be in there, I wouldn't have to worry about them. It also only turned on when you put paper in it. Therefore, even if the top had been taken off and they were touching the bottom where the actual shredding part is, it wouldn't be on. So, if the OP had a shredder anything like that, they wouldn't think twice about having a child around it, because it couldn't cause an injury. Also, parents can NOT keep their eyes on their children 24/7. It's impossible. Nothing else would ever get done if they did. When I was 3, my mom was getting ready for...idk, but she was in the bathroom, and I decided to help her iron. I think it maybe took me one minute, at the most, to grab the iron and run it over my fingers. When I worked in a Children's hospital, I saw all sorts of things kids did in the moments their parents weren't watching. For all we know, the OP could have been cooking dinner while the child shredded up 500 bucks. If they were hundreds, it would have been pretty darn quick! Hell, he could have put all 5 in at once, if they were hundred dollar bills. Basically, we have no idea how long it took, why the OP had 500 dollars in cash easily accessible, or what led to him losing track of the child. So, though it's still completely the OP's fault, that doesn't necessarily make him a bad parent.

rosieposie22 0

OMG I totally understand! The first time I babysat my twin sisters alone, I was 15 and they were 4. They were playing "hide-and-go-seeK". I found them a half an hour later, after calling and searching everywhere, locked in the dryer! We have a stackable now.

Alex8grade 1

I would beat his little ass im only 13 but if i had a kid and he did that i would beat his ass im gonna be a nice parent but my child ever does that plz call the police

Don't call her a dumbass. You don't know how kids can find anything these days no matter where you hide it. My five-year old cousin managed to get a chair, stack a few pillows on top of it and climb onto the top of the pillows to get my uncle's briefcase. And trust me, their wardrobe is pretty tall. Anyway, regardless from that, people make mistakes. Are you trying to tell me that you're some kind of "perfect" immortal? Well congratulations on the perfection #37 but because you're so "perfect" it still does not give you the right to judge someone else of whom you do not know the circumstances of the situation.

lovemysnubber 0

25 you used to be a children?

You deserve it for allowing your son access to anything that contains that amount of money and for not watching him better. No wonder why kids nowadays seem to be getting dumb and behave like douchebags. You still have time though, become a good parent and stop whining about things you have control of, or should have control of (in other words control your kid and get off the damn computer).

I agree with not having the money lying around, but no parent can have eyes on their child at all times.

#3 I bet ur perfect. u probly don't even have to wipe after u shit. man must b so great!

zinc55 0

Couldn't have said it better myself.

metfanatic1986 0

I go to this website just in case I become q parent one day. I know not to let my kids do this.

No one says that destroying money is illegal... It is

BecauseIAmBatman_fml 22

Yeah 344, quick lets arrest the 4 year old!

saranottelling 7

Either you're an idiot and leave a shredder and 500 dollars around or your son is loaded with cash! ... nevermind... It doesn't matter, the OP is still an idiot no matter what happened. I would tell the OP to have a cookie to feel better, but the OP doesn't deserve a cookie!

Your kid not only had access to your money but was also unsupervised around a paper shredder? YDI for parenting FAIL. Put the remains in clear plastic tubes with pen bottoms and sell them to novelty stores.

Yes because paper shredders have contributed widely to childhood fatalities. Tell me, what paper shredder has so scarred you that it's unfathomable for them to be around children? Kids get into any and everything. Not so much as a parenting fail as a 'damn, that really sucks, kids have sticky fingers'.

I'm just saying most of the shredders I've seen are pretty much idiot-proof. Then again, Darwin awards exist for a reason.

My 6 year old managed to get his finger caught in one. Little fingers get sucked in fairly easy.

It doesn't matter how idiot proof a shredder may be, children have small hands and small fingers. Small children area practically death magnets. If a child managed to get the lid off, shove a finger in there, or shove something in there that breaks the machine or causes it to short circuit, you're looking at a pretty dangerous situation for a child.

roaminginsomniac 0

You fail for not watching your own kid! Especially around a shredder. Be happy it wasn't his fingers, you failure!

um, dude, you definitely can't get your fingers into a paper shredder, haha!

You must wipe your butt with twenty dollar bills to have that kind of money laying around. Invite me over.

boatkicker 4

Probably not. It was probably more along the lines of, OP has some sort of job where you get paid large amounts less frequently. FOR EXAMPLE: While running a construction company, my father only got money from the customers at a few set points in the job. Depending on what he and his crew were doing, none of them may get paid for something like 3 weeks, and then all of a sudden, get three weeks worth of pay in one check. If one of them were to cash that check, they would have a ton of money just laying around, in their wallet.

@15 There's lots of situations where you can end up with lots of cash for brief periods of time. If you run a charity, for instance, you can easily end up with dozens of small cash donations. I have a friend who ran a pie-in-the-face event for a charity recently who had to walk across the university with $700+ in her backpack. There's also a story about a Libertarian supporter who got pulled off his plane for carrying several thousand dollars of donation money in his bag, since he didn't have time to go to a bank first. Security people held him for a long time (partially because he didn't want to admit to being a libertarian in that particular state, since they'd labeled "being a member of the Libertarian Party" as a high-risk-for-terrorism activity. Also, while it's a lot of money, it's still not an absolutely ridiculous sum. It's not like it was a briefcase full of 20s that he had lying around to be shredded.

perdix 29

Your kid is right -- that was funny! He's a natural-born comedian, but you paid way too much for that show. For that kind of money, you coulda had front row seats at the Gallagher show and got pelted with watermelon chunks -- high comedy indeed!

Nothing will light up you day like a little smashed watermellon. There is nothing like the smell of smashed fruit in the morning.

Napalm? Really? And here I thought your favorite scent was hookers and crack. ;D

You can still send the shreds in to the Treasury Department to get replacement bills.

yep, get some tape and some time and mail the bills to the treasury, it will take some time but you will get them replaced. im a banker and i had a guy come in with 1000 of hundreds partly burned up, he mailed it in and got it replaced.