Boo hoo

Your life doesn't suck that much unless this was your wedding dress.

So? Who cares this is hardly worthwhile

Umm who takes a gravy meal from a club? Such a made up story

Gosh! That’s a crime.

I mean wasting good chicken, AND gravy??

Rule of thumb: Don't eat food that can leave stains while wearing white clothing.
Rule of the other thumb: Watch where you're walking, or, if you were wearing heels, don't wear heels.

This is some Trailer Park Boys shit right here.

I love that you left out the reason why you slipped was because you were drunk. There’s no shame #straya

Not necessarily, I personally go to clubs to surround myself with white noise, so I can peacefully finish reading my novels.

you went to the club, got drunk, ordered fries and drunkenly spilled them on yourself. if this is an fml for you you must have one beauty of a life. other people would just call this "going out"

Use vanish. Makes stains “vanish”. (I got rid of a full pint of Guinness stain from a white dress with it).