Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
Today, a girl I like was taking her phone out of her pocket and two condoms fell out. Last week I'd tried hooking up with her and she'd said that she only has sex with a man who is her boyfriend. So I said, “Oh, new boyfriend, huh?” She said, “Nah it’s for hookups, gotta be prepared!” I guess she forgot she lied to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, I went camping in the mountains with my girlfriend and her very outdoor loving mountain. I sprained my ankle falling out of the car and got a bug bite on my penis while peeing. Her dad actually asked why she was dating me and she admitted that she had no idea. FML
Today, my fiancée decided to go on a 3-hour trip because she needed a break from the baby and me. I forgot to mention who she went with: her ex. FML
Today, I went through the stuff that I'd left at my ex’s place and started unpacking it. I found a pair of another girl's panties. We broke up a little over a week ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML
Today, I went camping with friends, two guys and one girl. Night came and things got freaky. Two of them began to make out. I wanted to make a move on my guy friend but he said, “Nah, let’s not ruin the friendship.” Then he proceeded to have a threesome with them. Oh, and the other guy didn’t want me either. FML
Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and another couple. We saw a black bear. I shrieked and peed, while the other guy stepped forward and yelled, "Get outta here!" To my surprise, it ran away. My girlfriend is so ashamed of me that she's refusing to share a tent. I'm sleeping in my truck bed. FML
Today, I found out that the girl my boyfriend says is "just a good old friend" is actually an "ex that got away." FML
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Top comments
BeeHMC 9
I hope by girlfriend you mean "ex"
mz135 12
Sorry OP that sucks. There is someone better than her for you
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Comments (184)
CurlyQute 17
Sounds like a soon to be "ex-girlfriend" now
FML_Elle 17
Who else is tired of comments like this it's only been said 1000 times.
disney_blonde 16
Condoms are great for camping, they can hold water and keep tinder and matches dry! She doesn't know that though, she was just having lots of deep woods sex.
DUB_Speeding 10
If you wrap up your phone in one, It's waterproof.
SpicyDuck 22
I hope that's the non lubricated kind...
killer0689 20
nice suggestions BTW :p
Qwermy 16
it can also protect you from your Tinder matches.
Vickeh 15
You shoulda whacked your"ex" with them condom. But yea, ouch.
domclark94 19
i hope you dump her asap
Warmonger_Smurf 29
When you go camping, you always need to bring a raincoat.
buckdharma 38
I heard covering your meat is a good idea while camping.
metalmods94 8
I thought ex was supposed to mean to be done, but the definition must be changing
kyu_Q 19
I won't let my gf go on a camping trip alone with her ex. That's not trust issues, it's good sense. There are not a whole lot of things to do in the woods at night
stargirl_95 24
Read the FML. She obviously lied to him and OP didn't know she would go with her ex
HotShot313 15
hahahah awesome.
worldclassrager 41
I like the way that was worded...she doesn't deserve you time to find someone new
nikko0328 9
maybe you should go camping. with her sister