Today, I found out that a strong orgasm can trigger my girlfriend's...

By aninc - United States - Boise

Today, I found out that a strong orgasm can trigger my girlfriend's PTSD. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2268

You deserved it

214

Favorite

Taking stock

Our house, in the middle of our street

Halloween came early

By barman - Australia

Today, while working at the bar, I was having a flawless night. Every pour was perfect, every shot expertly measured. I saw my manager for the first time that night, turned to greet him, and knocked over a tray of 30 or so glasses. Two remained unbroken. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37636

You deserved it

5319

Favorite

By fuckall - United States

Today, I worked out that if I paid the minimum monthly amount on my student loans, I'd be paying them until I'm 65. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29660

You deserved it

5756

Favorite

By x0SoReckless0x - United States

Today, some obnoxious guys started calling me ugly. I tried to ignore them and be the bigger person. That's pretty hard to do when they start throwing rocks at you. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48252

You deserved it

3449

Favorite

By soldierboy - United States

Today, after nearly 2 years of continuous fighting in Afghanistan, my unit came home. We were booed at the airport. FML

I agree, your life sucks

141433

You deserved it

13669

Favorite

So romantic!

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend on my boat at the lake. As we were looking at the mountains all around us, she playfully pushed me off the side into the water. As I got back on the boat, I realized that not only was my cellphone dead, but the ring had fallen into the deep water. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3166

You deserved it

254

Favorite

By his word vs mine = me suspended - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46899

You deserved it

3064

Favorite

By tagteam - United States - Worcester

Today, after backpacking acrossing Europe for a month, I picked up my dog from the doghouse. No one will listen to me or acknowledge the fact that he's now missing two toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38381

You deserved it

2749

Favorite

By CasaDeLoser - United States - Kent

Today, my kid made a new friend at school. When I asked her to describe her new friend, she said, "She looks kinda like you, only pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30974

You deserved it

3295

Favorite

By ForeverAlone - Korea, Republic of - Seoul

Today, I emotionally confessed to the guy I like. His English isn't that good, so he asked me to repeat it several times. He ended up telling me no. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31828

You deserved it

3059

Favorite

By xpxp2002 - United States

Today, I dreamed that I met this beautiful girl at a restaurant and we ended up having lunch together. Everything was going perfect until the end when I tried to get her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I can't even get a girl in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58491

You deserved it

6573

Favorite

By ScorpioQueen - United States

Today, I decided not to park in the parking garage on campus, in an attempt to save the $8 it would have cost me. Instead, I parked in a surface lot (about a mile away) and got a $50 parking ticket for not having a permit to park there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9466

You deserved it

43018

Favorite

By fear - 17/12/2020 00:02 - United States - Denver

CIA-level batshittery

Today, an angry customer from my old job and punched me in the face before screaming; “You thought you’d seen the last of me?” I moved seven states over and she followed me here just to do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1090

You deserved it

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34345

You deserved it

4339

Favorite

By Pookaa - United States

Today, I got a text from someone I've been avoiding saying, "Can I come visit you today?" I replied, "No, sorry, I'm not home." They then replied "Then who is that in your living room?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

38477

You deserved it

8194

Favorite

By Morrowindwhore - United Kingdom

Today, a friend of mine was talking about how he'd spent over 30 hours on Call of Duty. I piped up and said "Oh yeah! Well I've spent well over 300 hours on Morrowind! Beat that!" To which he replied, "I've had sex. Beat that!" I couldn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25752

You deserved it

67517

Favorite

By Jane - Australia

Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40701

You deserved it

6189

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was set up on a blind date. When I arrived, the person waiting for me was a woman. It appears that my friends have always thought I was a lesbian, and that they 'played along' when I talked about guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37071

You deserved it

3231

Favorite

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 17:02 - United States

No friends left

Today, I’ve dreamt of going back to high school so many times, every morning I wake up thinking I finished it twice and still have all my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

644

You deserved it

125

Favorite

By Anonymous - Portugal - Alhandra

Today, my boyfriend thinks he's discovered a big conspiracy by dentists to sell toothpaste. He's arguing that nobody needs to brush their teeth, ever, because all the "new plaque" from food will dissolve the "old plaque", and the only thing he needs to use is breath spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25428

You deserved it

2390

Favorite

By shiftybizniss - Canada

Today, I tried to sneak up on my girlfriend who was sitting in her car with one of her girlfriends. I snuck up to the driver's side window and tried to startle her by banging on the window. The window was down. My thumb went right in her eye. She has to wear a patch for 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16162

You deserved it

69212

Favorite

By tictacnose - Canada

Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34416

You deserved it

3194

Favorite

By Fat Bastard

Today, my son bought me some Slimfast for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1691

You deserved it

278

Favorite

By Photos - United States

Today, after I got home from school I went to my room to find the maid had cleaned it, also to find a bag labeled "trash" it was all the sketches and paintings I had done in art class, which is my major plan for college. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48631

You deserved it

4674

Favorite

By anonymous - United States - Charlton

Today, for the third day in a row, I have been volunteered to kill and dispose of the bugs entering my apartment. I live with two "manly" men who can't use a flyswatter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9989

You deserved it

898

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, the girl I thought I was dating introduced me to her boyfriend. We've gone on dates and have slept in the same bed, but it turns out she thought I was her gay best friend and was planning to introduce me to her boyfriend's brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5248

You deserved it

831

Favorite

By BrokeAF

Today, I eagerly applied for a high-salary, fully supportive graduate program that I qualified for. There were 5 steps in the application process. I was turned down after the first one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7713

You deserved it

861

Favorite

By What’sGoingOn

Awkward...

Today, I accidentally sent a dick pic to my coach instead of my girlfriend. He sent one back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3166

You deserved it

6082

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, it's been two weeks since I honked, screamed, and cussed at a cyclist on the road. Since then, my car has been keyed, my tires have been slashed, bricks have been thrown at my windows, and my number has been put on Craigslist as a gay prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2408

You deserved it

5821

Favorite

By flimflam - United States

Today, the elevator broke in my dorm and won't be fixed for several days. I live on the 26th floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42659

You deserved it

3850

Favorite

By Username - France

Today, I went to the dentist. My dentist kept talking to me while his hands were in my mouth. I attempted to tell him that it was difficult and dangerous to respond. My talking made him slip and slice my mouth open with one of his instruments. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36115

You deserved it

10014

Favorite

By Thongy - Canada

Cultural differences

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? My Australian friend sent me a message saying I'd left my thongs at his house. My boyfriend still refuses to believe that they call flip-flops thongs in Australia. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1954

You deserved it

537

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54583

You deserved it

4005

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia - Cairns

Wrong place, right time

Today, a co-worker came back from his honeymoon. He passed by my office to say hi, and mentioned, "I heard you're getting married next year?" I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. He's taking his things out of the house as I write this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1661

You deserved it

150

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, the toilet at my apartment still hasn't been fixed. I have to straddle the bathtub for number 1's and go to Walmart for 2's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38219

You deserved it

3224

Favorite

By Tooks - United Kingdom

Today, everyone at work commented on how much better my new haircut looked and how I should keep styling it this way as it's such an improvement over my old style. I was late for work this morning. My new hair style was Bed hair that I didn't have time to sort out... FML

I agree, your life sucks

38700

You deserved it

8019

Favorite

By Josie - Australia

Today, I went to my "not so technologically advanced" grandma's house to help her out with her computer. It appears she has very interesting conversations with the man who lives in the apartment above her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32972

You deserved it

3808

Favorite

By md - Canada

Today, I got an alarm installed in my car, and was having problems with it not going off when the car was hit. To demonstrate this to the installers, I bumped my car with my hip, which left a dent, and set the alarm off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9508

You deserved it

28289

Favorite

By twinkletoes - United States

Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33001

You deserved it

2555

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to put vinegar in my contact solution. I took my contacts out hours ago and my eyes still burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37384

You deserved it

2615

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Indianapolis

Today, after extensive tests due to pregnancy-related issues, I've been told my diet must change. I can no longer eat salt, sugar, gluten, or meat, and lactose is questionable. The doctor hopes it will end after the birth. Seven months to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3400

You deserved it

336

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By mccuish | 22

#7816502 - Saturday 29 June 2019 9:31

This needs a follow up

By RichardPencil | 30

#7816486 - Saturday 29 June 2019 8:37

That’s great incentive to be a Two-Pump Chump.

It’s not premature ejaculation, it’s to protect her sanity. What a guy!

COMMENTS

By Charlie Given | 23

#7816473 - Saturday 29 June 2019 7:40

Well DAMN every man likes to grunt or growl when they come but come on man did ya have to sound like a machine gun 😂

By Jackey | 29

#7816482 - Saturday 29 June 2019 8:22

Well, you'll never have to worry that she's faking it...

By RichardPencil | 30

#7816486 - Saturday 29 June 2019 8:37

That’s great incentive to be a Two-Pump Chump.

It’s not premature ejaculation, it’s to protect her sanity. What a guy!

By mccuish | 22

#7816502 - Saturday 29 June 2019 9:31

This needs a follow up

By Kake50 | 8

#7816622 - Saturday 29 June 2019 18:46

You posted the FML, but imagine how difficult that is for her, too..

By sassypenguinxox | 15

#7816703 - Saturday 29 June 2019 23:57

A strong orgasm from her or you?