Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
Today, a girl I like was taking her phone out of her pocket and two condoms fell out. Last week I'd tried hooking up with her and she'd said that she only has sex with a man who is her boyfriend. So I said, “Oh, new boyfriend, huh?” She said, “Nah it’s for hookups, gotta be prepared!” I guess she forgot she lied to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, I went camping in the mountains with my girlfriend and her very outdoor loving mountain. I sprained my ankle falling out of the car and got a bug bite on my penis while peeing. Her dad actually asked why she was dating me and she admitted that she had no idea. FML
Today, my fiancée decided to go on a 3-hour trip because she needed a break from the baby and me. I forgot to mention who she went with: her ex. FML
Today, I went through the stuff that I'd left at my ex’s place and started unpacking it. I found a pair of another girl's panties. We broke up a little over a week ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML
Today, I went camping with friends, two guys and one girl. Night came and things got freaky. Two of them began to make out. I wanted to make a move on my guy friend but he said, “Nah, let’s not ruin the friendship.” Then he proceeded to have a threesome with them. Oh, and the other guy didn’t want me either. FML
Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and another couple. We saw a black bear. I shrieked and peed, while the other guy stepped forward and yelled, "Get outta here!" To my surprise, it ran away. My girlfriend is so ashamed of me that she's refusing to share a tent. I'm sleeping in my truck bed. FML
Today, I found out that the girl my boyfriend says is "just a good old friend" is actually an "ex that got away." FML
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Top comments
BeeHMC 9
I hope by girlfriend you mean "ex"
mz135 12
Sorry OP that sucks. There is someone better than her for you
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Comments (184)
theasian007 11
And when I say girlfriend, I mean my ex :/
Pixie_styx89 15
I hope you meant to write now ex girlfriend
Opheliae 22
Run for the hills.
MRP360 14
still waiting for a brokeback mountain reference
HammyBear13 8
Brokeback Mountain was about two men dumbass. This is a woman and her ex, not two men. What smart, intelligent person would make a Brokeback Mountain ref on this?
Firewielder 17
Well, a condom can hold about a liter of water, so it's pretty useful In a pinch!
BeepBeepSwerve 9
" a condom can hold a pint of water" please.... I bet you didn't know that info before and just copied and pasted it from the first poster who mentioned it.
Sweet_Visions 13
Dump her ass and tell her ex you can have my used toy. That's pretty messed up by her. She broke your guys's bond.
mangelon86 15
Shouldn't of let her go. I'm not that guy that thinks he has the right to order his gf around, but c'mon. You can't go camping alone with an ex. Gotta draw the line somewhere.
False_Stupidity 42
Sure, if OP had known that it was her ex she was "camping" with then you'd have a valid point, but from the way this was worded, he thought she was camping with a group of friends.
EchoSerenity 15
Sorry she did that to ya. Kick her ass to the curb, it's obvious that she's not over her ex yet.
mkayden 23
And by 'girlfriend' I hope you mean 'ex-girlfriend'
ekslu89 12
Did you get a second date though?