Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have...

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 968

You deserved it 14 918

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Same thing different taste

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 129

You deserved it 29 737

By hornyloser - 02/05/2011 18:46 - United States

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 887

You deserved it 70 359

By policeopenup - 11/07/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 377

You deserved it 8 733

Big awkward

By JDLAX1924 - 05/08/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 802

You deserved it 42 528

The all-seeing eye

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom, demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a goddamn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 317

You deserved it 5 788

Overbearing parents are the worst

By SoDead - 05/12/2020 04:01 - United States - Center Point

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 1 708

Phone-blocked

By unamyous - 08/06/2012 13:26 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 640

You deserved it 4 156

By MarMar - 15/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 559

You deserved it 17 289

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 962

You deserved it 2 958

By liz1234 - 23/03/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 199

You deserved it 8 125

sthrr 6

Monday 21 February 2011 12:06

and she didn't feel the need to hang up? Ew..

crystal_james 0

Monday 21 February 2011 12:11

The fact that your mom was listening to you have phone sex is pretty disturbing. But YDI for using the home phone...

Comments

simsimma88 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 20:39

It's a bit weird that your mom listened for that long..

Irakli_1 27

Tuesday 17 January 2012 18:11

Dude, does your mom that seriously interfere in your life? grow some balls man.

DevonDoesntGaf 0

Tuesday 24 January 2012 19:17

That's why it's better to have physical sex rather , than phone sex ..

klx125cross 9

Saturday 15 September 2012 21:47

Why the **** did u use I'd house phone?

Lunasis 14

Thursday 17 April 2014 22:05

wow... your mom is a damn creeper

Hopein2025 14

Thursday 14 August 2014 6:59

Keep it in the bedroom

WhackTheJackal 22

Wednesday 18 March 2015 8:38

**** old phones LOL.

prince_jimmy907 12

Wednesday 27 May 2015 4:58

landline struggles

KeatonHanson 28

Thursday 4 February 2016 2:31

I don't get the point of phone sex

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The Top

Today, it's been a week since my mother died. She had no life insurance and was over $20,000 in debt, plus her hospital/funeral bills. My father wants nothing to do with me as she was a one night stand and he never paid child support. I'm behind on rent and bills because I'm injured from work. Thanks for nothing, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 143

Today, and every time I try to talk to my mother about being a lesbian, she just says in the most condescending way, "Oh no you're not sweetie, it’s just a phase." The "phase" has lasted 17 years, including marrying my wife and adopting twin sons, but sure, it’s “just a phase.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 730

You deserved it 229

The Top

Today, I woke up to my sister with her hand wrapped gently around my balls, saying, “Don’t lie or I’ll squeeze.” She wanted to know if I’d eaten her strawberries. I said no. She'd looked my bin and saw the empty packet. She looked back at me and squeezed. The pain made me late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 3 207

Today, and for the past week, I’ve been seeing a guy who checks all my boxes. He treats me amazing, and we both want the same thing, to find love. Seems great, right? Well, I got an anonymous text telling me that I may have been exposed to herpes. Hopefully he doesn’t leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 387

Today, while I was in bed, my cat licked my nipple. It turned me on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 960

You deserved it 688

Today, my man complained about having to listen to my "emotional problems for hours." Yeah, we did talk for two hours, 90% of which was him asking for my advice on which new mattress to buy for his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 117

Today, while looking through pictures of my boyfriend and me on Facebook, I noticed that in practically every single one featuring my best friend, his eyes are directed down her shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 453

You deserved it 3 886

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 815

You deserved it 6 233