Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have...

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 968

You deserved it 14 918

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 129

You deserved it 29 737

By hornyloser - 02/05/2011 18:46 - United States

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 887

You deserved it 70 358

By policeopenup - 11/07/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 377

You deserved it 8 733

Big awkward

By JDLAX1924 - 05/08/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 802

You deserved it 42 528

The all-seeing eye

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom, demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a goddamn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 317

You deserved it 5 788

Overbearing parents are the worst

By SoDead - 05/12/2020 04:01 - United States - Center Point

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 1 708

Phone-blocked

By unamyous - 08/06/2012 13:26 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 640

You deserved it 4 156

By MarMar - 15/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 559

You deserved it 17 289

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 962

You deserved it 2 958

By liz1234 - 23/03/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 199

You deserved it 8 125

sthrr 6

Monday 21 February 2011 12:06

and she didn't feel the need to hang up? Ew..

crystal_james 0

Monday 21 February 2011 12:11

The fact that your mom was listening to you have phone sex is pretty disturbing. But YDI for using the home phone...

Comments

sk8erd 15

Tuesday 22 February 2011 5:41

why the **** wouldnt she hang up?! thats straight up creepy

feralphoenix 4

Tuesday 22 February 2011 6:23

your mom is a milf

Ceaszhar 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 6:47

damn, yo momma is a lil' freak, eh?

LanaBabii252 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 8:17

your mom is weird

Inspired22 11

Wednesday 23 February 2011 7:40

Um, yeah. I am super disturbed right now. Can't imagine how grossed out you feel! Sorry.

lex86vanorten 1

Wednesday 23 February 2011 17:08

At least your mother enjoyed your conversation with your girlfriend ???

Hardbone 0

Thursday 24 February 2011 15:29

Something is wrong with your mother!

cgovan20 0

Thursday 24 February 2011 15:35

Can't believe she listened for 13 minutes... ha ha...

teddypete13 0

Friday 25 February 2011 13:58

that happened to me before. my cell died and i couldnt find the charger. i was stupid, but seriously....

justintime66451 2

Monday 28 February 2011 8:50

two words, cell phone...

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Family Fight Love Work Relatable Students Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Cheating Teenagers Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Revenge Boredom

The Top

Today, my boyfriend came over. We'd planned on losing out virginities today. What we didn't plan on was having my 9-year-old brother and his friends making a video of "What teens do when no one is home." They taped the whole thing, including the five minutes it took us to get the condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 966

You deserved it 931

Today, a guy for whom I did a design job told me he would only be able to pay me in 3 weeks. I told him that it was OK, as long as I didn't have to follow him around to collect my money. "Don't worry, I know the feeling," he said, "I used to run an illegal business." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 513

You deserved it 2 171

The Top

Today, I got a mailer from Adam and Eve with a bunch of hardcore porn ads inside. I have been getting these since I ordered a Pirate porn video a few months ago. I was gone for a few weeks overseas. My mother-in-law was getting the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 293

You deserved it 28 126

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 656

You deserved it 5 362

Today, at 3:00 am, I sat with my 3 year-old daughter while she tried to go back to sleep. She'd had a nightmare, and I'd read that "not leaving" was the most important thing a father could do. My wife woke and called me a pervert for sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 438

You deserved it 3 336

Today, I typed an essay on my friend's computer, so she forwarded it to me in a email and she made the subject "here bitch" as a joke. I then went to email the essay to my teacher. I forwarded it thinking nothing of it only to realize that I didn't change the subject name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 077

You deserved it 56 541

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 983

You deserved it 21 729

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 178

You deserved it 5 958