Kids: Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we...

By Rae - 30/07/2009 13:56 - United States

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 452

You deserved it 4 492

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Same thing different taste

Mystery man

By LifeSucks - 29/10/2008 11:57 - Canada

Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 716

You deserved it 3 982

They all look the same to me

By Anonymous - 29/09/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I picked up my daughter from daycare. As we were getting into the car, I strapped her into the car seat, but something felt off. I looked back and realized I had picked up the wrong kid. In my defense, she was wearing the same jacket as my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 574

By Anonymous - 16/12/2010 14:35 - Taiwan

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 469

You deserved it 4 546

True

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 16:09

Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 044

You deserved it 247

Call CPS

By lyss - 16/02/2014 22:44 - United States - Pottsville

Today, I went to pick up my goddaughter while her mother went to work. She was being fussy, and I was surprised when she was quiet in the car; I just figured she'd fallen asleep. I got to my house and realized I'd never put her in my car, she was still sitting in my friend's driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 380

You deserved it 49 890

By anoymus - 31/05/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 950

You deserved it 3 278

By :,< - 17/09/2012 17:16 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to a pony ride at the fair. I paid to have her picture taken, and when we got home, I emailed it to my mom. She replied, disgustedly pointing out that the pretty little pony was displaying a pretty little penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 424

You deserved it 2 622

By crzyry - 23/02/2012 03:49 - Canada

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 654

You deserved it 3 132

By blah blah daddy - 02/10/2010 23:08 - United States

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 427

You deserved it 10 379

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 21:06 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from my dad's house. He'd shaved her head bald. "For a laugh." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 107

You deserved it 1 874

donutboy 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:17

"Wanna ride my mommy's new penis?" XD

BLNovelist 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:11

Gotta love children's pronunciations. :o

Comments

niemann2006 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:10

fake, just like all the other fml's like this. ex. lebanese american- lesbian; and much more

chveya 6

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:18

………………….._,,-~’’’¯¯¯’’~-,, ………………..,-‘’ ; ; ;_,,---,,_ ; ;’’-,…………………………….._,,,---,,_ ……………….,’ ; ; ;,-‘ , , , , , ‘-, ; ;’-,,,,---~~’’’’’’~--,,,_…..,,-~’’ ; ; ; ;__;’-, ……………….| ; ; ;,’ , , , _,,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ¯’’~’-,,_ ,,-~’’ , , ‘, ;’, ……………….’, ; ; ‘-, ,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-, , , , , ,’ ; | …………………’, ; ;,’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-, , ,-‘ ;,-‘ ………………….,’-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-‘ ;,,-‘ ………………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;__ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,’ ………………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’¯: : ’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; _ ; ; ; ; ;’, ……………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;| : : : : : ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘’¯: ¯’’-, ; ; ;’, …………….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,_: : _,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | : : : : : ; ; ; | ……………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ¯¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-,,_ : :,-‘ ; ; ; ;| …………..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,,-~’’ , , , , ,,,-~~-, , , , _ ; ; ;¯¯ ; ; ; ; ;| ..…………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ , , , , , , ,( : : : : , , , ,’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;| ……….,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’, , , , , , , , ,’~---~’’ , , , , , ,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’, …….,-‘’ ; _, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘’~-,,,,--~~’’’¯’’’~-,,_ , ,_,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ….,-‘’-~’’,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ; ; | . . . . . . ,’; ,’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,_ ; ‘-, ……….,’ ; ;,-, ; ;, ; ; ;, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ;’, . . . . .,’ ;,’ ; ; ; ;, ; ; ;,’-, ; ;,’ ‘’~--‘’’ ………,’-~’ ,-‘-~’’ ‘, ,-‘ ‘, ,,- ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ; ‘~-,,,-‘’ ; ,’ ; ; ; ; ‘, ;,-‘’ ; ‘, ,-‘, ……….,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ‘’ ; ; ;’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘’-,,_ ; ; ; _,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ;’-‘’ ; ; ; ‘’ ; ;’-, ……..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;¯¯’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; , ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-, ……,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-, …..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|..’-,_ ; ; ; , ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…….’’’,-~’ ; ; ; ; ; ,’ …,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’~-,,,,,--~~’’’’’’~-,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…..,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ,- …| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘ …’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’….’, ; ; ; ; _,,-‘’ ….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…….’’~~’’¯ …..’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;_,,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘ ………’’~-,,_ ; ; ; ; _,,,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘ ………..| ; ; ;¯¯’’’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,,-‘ ………..’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘ …………| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;| …………’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ~-,,___ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’, ………….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘….’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ………..,’ ‘- ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’……….’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ……….,’ ; ;’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ,,-‘…………….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’, ………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’…………………’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ……..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,,-‘………………………’’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ……..| ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…………………………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ ……..| ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’………………………..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’’ ……..| ; ; ; ; ; ;,’……………………….,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘ ……..’,_ , ; , ;,’……………………….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘ ………’,,’,¯,’,’’|……………………….| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘--,, ………….¯…’’………………………..’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’~,, ……………………………………………’’-,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’~-,, ………………………………………………..’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ,,_ ; ;’-,’’-, …………………………………………………..’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,__,--. ……………………………………………………’-, ; ; ;,,-~’’’ , ,|, | ………………………………………………………’’~-‘’_ , , ,,’,_/--‘

iKaite 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:20

Pedobear seal of approval!

alex_vik 0

Friday 31 July 2009 0:08

Holy shit that is awesome.

TheLittlestNinja 0

Friday 31 July 2009 0:32

YDI for getting a Prius

edthered 0

Friday 31 July 2009 1:47

Best. Reply. Ever.

smorgasm 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 19:03

YDI for getting the national "im a bitch" car.

darkmagshin 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 22:06

>>this also, if you were driving a prius there is a good chance your 'wife' has a penis as well.

BLNovelist 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:11

Gotta love children's pronunciations. :o

luckyyyy 0

Friday 31 July 2009 10:05

funny silly troll

frikkinhannah 0

Thursday 27 May 2010 23:04

Haha, yeah. "Mommy's new penis is HUGE!"

mozeltov 7

Monday 23 May 2011 21:25

I wouldn't exactly call a prius "huge"

Applesarefum 9

Wednesday 23 July 2014 3:02

62 "She brags about it to all her friends!"

chveya 6

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:13

Well, she could have said "my mommy got a new boytoy and they have sex in my bed"; it's another common mispronunciation of Prius. Be GLAD.

the_commentator 0

Friday 31 July 2009 0:04

you just made my day. :D

ZaneAnTy 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 14:16

mine too

randomdude1234 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:13

You do drive a prius so it wouldn't be surprising if you had gotten a new penis. Not saying anything bad about prius drivers, well actually I am. Pansies!

safirestar09 0

Friday 28 May 2010 9:49

Keep that crap to yourself. Just because you don't like a certain car doesn't mean the rest of us actually care.

No_LoveMM 3

Wednesday 19 January 2011 18:17

Keep that crap to yourself...... Just because you don't like the fact that someone else doesn't like a certain car means the rest of us actually care...

Butterbuns 1

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:14

So? Just correct people, and teach your kid the proper way to pronounce it.

octopussperm125 18

Wednesday 5 February 2014 0:29

Yeah, it's a blue penis, she needs to specify

ToXicDoLL_fml 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:14

Aww thats so cute. -cough- not. But thats weird that she would talk to you about that.

donutboy 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:17

"Wanna ride my mommy's new penis?" XD

seni_rita 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 2:26

WIN.

jessica_x3 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:17

Awh, hahah. xD

cerealjunkie0 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:20

That reminds me of a time when i was little and i was visiting my aunt in her new condominium. When my mom called it condo, and I asked her why they didnt just call it a condom for short. lol thats just what kids do sometimes.....