Work: Today, in an effort to look more professional at work, I wore... - FML

By whythebunny - 30/10/2015 18:56 - United States - Bastrop

Today, in an effort to look more professional at work, I wore high heels. My boss decided today would be a great day for me to walk around on the sidewalk holding a sign to advertise instead of doing the job I was hired for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 650

You deserved it 2 332

Stop talking!

Dementia or hate? You decide

BO Central

By facebook - 24/06/2010 10:09 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 939

You deserved it 4 965

By mbesameh - 11/06/2011 06:27 - United States

Today, I found out that my dad makes me wear dresses and skirts not because I look pretty in them, but because he was sick and tired of people asking him if I was a boy or a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 648

You deserved it 6 230

By Blondie - 05/05/2011 20:01 - Lebanon

Today, I was trying to convince a friend that even though I'm blonde, I'm not the oblivious or stupid moron everyone apparently thinks I am. Then I smacked face-first into a glass door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 016

You deserved it 31 578

By "Lifefail887" - 04/07/2017 18:30

Today, after buying a new pair of prescription glasses, I went to the beach. The ocean now has a new pair of glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 866

You deserved it 2 330

By misc - 20/11/2010 10:40 - Australia

Today, my brand new iPhone 4 was stolen from my bag. I asked the bartender if anyone had handed it in. I soon found out that while I was talking to her, someone swiped my wallet from the bag too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 659

You deserved it 8 284

By Anonymous - 24/05/2019 20:07

Today, I spilled grape juice on my new white shirt. I bleached it and scrubbed it until there was nothing left to see. I threw it on, ready to dart out of the door, when my dad walks in after fixing the lawnmower and puts his greasy hand right on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 897

You deserved it 139

By nooneatall - 15/01/2010 03:16 - France

Spicy

Today, I was doing a shit load of sit-ups on my mattress. After realizing the bed was squeaking, I heard my dad laughing very hard from the basement. He thought I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 895

You deserved it 20 116

By Anonymous - 24/07/2015 17:59 - Northern Mariana Islands - Saipan

Today, I was telling 3 classmates on Whatsapp about my depression. One of them told me to "nut up n grow a pear." Two hours after we mocked him for being an illiterate jackass, one of us has had our car tires knifed and another's house has been egged. I'm terrified of what will happen to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 714

You deserved it 5 305

By anon - 22/02/2009 04:49 - United States

Today, I got fired from a great baby sitting job because the little girl said I was boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 531

You deserved it 16 251

By Username - 02/08/2011 06:46 - United States

Today, I found out that the crazy old man that sleep walks naked around my neighborhood every night is my grandpa. And he's not sleepwalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 808

You deserved it 2 854

By [email protected] - 28/09/2014 15:30 - United Kingdom - Watford

Spicy

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 510

You deserved it 4 844

By Anonymous - 27/05/2013 00:40 - United Kingdom - Maybole

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 098

You deserved it 8 252

By Anonymous - 24/09/2014 13:58 - United States

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 309

You deserved it 4 090

SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE!

By Anonymous - 12/07/2021 14:00 - United States - Verona

Today, it was one of those days when my housemates thinks they can bug me every five minutes when I'm trying to work from home. Doing this or talking about that, wrecking my train of thought on complicated work until it's a railyard of disaster. Is it five o'clock yet? FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 86

By Arp - 04/02/2012 20:46 - United States

Today, I got an early Valentine's day card. My boyfriend and I recently broke up, and my hopes shot up thinking it might be from him. It wasn't. It was from my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 141

You deserved it 4 654

By GrandTheftArson - 09/03/2016 03:51 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, my ex stole my car keys. Good news is she can't drive stick. Bad news is she set my car on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 092

You deserved it 1 566

By doomed - 22/08/2009 17:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 215

You deserved it 6 650

By Anonymous - 09/11/2014 08:37 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me via Twitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 882

You deserved it 3 848

Roommates from hell

By WTF - 30/12/2011 07:10 - United States

Today, I have to choose between getting a cellphone contract that I need, or a TV that I don't even want, but which my flatmates insist I contribute towards. The same flatmates who eat all my food. This increased grocery bill has left me unable to afford either the phone or TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 960

You deserved it 6 531

By useless pos - 01/03/2013 00:48 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 175

You deserved it 12 291

By knee2tak - 14/03/2009 09:46 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend "we need to talk". He said "i know". So we met after school, and he said he was ok with me breaking up with him, that he wasn't that into me either. He said all that before I could tell him that my parents wanted to meet him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 731

You deserved it 11 131

By lovehaterelationship - 10/03/2014 18:43 - Austria - Graz

Today, I had to study for an important test but I could barely focus because my roommate had his music blasting at full volume. Since we get along well, I decided to put up with it. I just found out he forgot to turn it off and left over 6 hours ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 756

You deserved it 12 857

By blower - 11/04/2011 04:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blow job from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 749

You deserved it 9 272

By gentileman - 16/03/2009 17:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588 493

You deserved it 99 771

By Anonymous - 10/06/2019 00:01

Today, I was friendzoned by my boyfriend due to the fact that we never fight. Apparently, if there's no fighting, there's no passion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 842

You deserved it 159

By Noname - 24/02/2009 22:57 - United States

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 270

You deserved it 50 184

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 11:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 508

You deserved it 24 200

By Sad - 28/04/2009 22:13 - United States

Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217 953

You deserved it 15 276

Judgment Day

By Anonymous - 29/05/2016 12:06 - United States - Pratt

Today, my fiancé and I are house-sitting for my future in-laws for the next 3 weeks. They left a bible in both bedrooms, along with printouts of an article denouncing the "sin" of premarital sex. They're such complete whack-jobs, I wouldn't be surprised if they've set up hidden cameras everywhere too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 381

You deserved it 1 840

By crosseyed - 10/06/2009 19:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 295

You deserved it 74 389

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, the girl I have had a crush on for the last 4 months asked me on AIM how to block someone. 30 seconds after I finished explaining how to block someone on iChat, she went offline and I haven't seen her on AIM since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 909

You deserved it 13 013

By Jeweler - 26/06/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 564

You deserved it 43 632

By That'sMyBoy - 28/05/2017 00:00 - Australia - Abbotsford

Today, I put glue traps around my home to catch spiders. So far, the only thing dumb enough to get caught in one is my 10-year-old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 904

You deserved it 713

By Garrett - 01/10/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 988

You deserved it 46 480

By Anonymous - 17/07/2009 00:14 - United States

Today, at work, as a camp counselor, I was discussing how stupid the idea of santa is to a co-worker, and how every parent should tell the truth to their kids. The intercom microphone was on. I single handily told a group of 100 six year olds that santa was not real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 739

You deserved it 72 502

Slashing Prices Left and Right!

By Charity - 20/03/2017 17:00 - United States

Today, I tutored a kid for two hours, for $25 an hour. When it came time for them to pay, my mother told the kid's parents that they could give me ten bucks for the whole thing. She does this a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 053

You deserved it 740

By littledipper - 25/09/2013 03:51 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 929

You deserved it 4 612

By GidleyWife - 30/07/2015 17:22 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my young stepdaughter decided that she should store her coins in my laptop's card reader slot and in the CD drive. I just bought the laptop last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 314

You deserved it 2 375

Alas, poor Stuart

By ShouldIHelpIt - 18/05/2016 02:46 - United States - Northampton

Today, I woke up to hear dripping water in the kitchen. Thinking it was someone getting a glass of water or something, I came out to find that it was just a mouse drowning in my dog's water bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 749

You deserved it 908

By WetWetWet - 04/01/2010 11:15 - India

Today, I returned to work after a restful week-long holiday. Before I left, I'd finished a huge assignment which is due this week. I walk in to find a water pipe has burst just above my desk, flooding our office with water and ruining my computer. Happy New Year to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 920

You deserved it 2 594

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

justcommenting19 19

Send a private message

Saturday 31 October 2015 1:33

But I bet you're fabulous. But yeah, I feel you dude. I hate heels.

acantthinkofname 3

Send a private message

Saturday 31 October 2015 1:36

Whatever job is advertised by a sidewalk sign is probably not worth the high heels

Comments

shortswimmer17 28

Send a private message

Saturday 31 October 2015 1:31

:( thats sucky of ypur boss, can you make a complaint about that to soneone?? Grab some flats on a break maybe if it seems you will be outside awhile??

XxDanno316xX 27

Send a private message

Saturday 31 October 2015 2:10

Hey mate, use patience when typing your comment. It might be legible next time :)

snazz23 20

Send a private message

Saturday 31 October 2015 2:16

They were too busy trying to get the first comment to care about their spelling!

shortswimmer17 28

Send a private message

Saturday 31 October 2015 2:55

or maybe it was because I was on my phone and not paying attention since I was eating while on my break...?? spelling mistakes aren't a crime no matter what some people think. I don't care if I was comment number one either if that's what I cared about wouldn't I have said it like all those others that try??

juicy_extasy 25

Send a private message

Saturday 31 October 2015 1:32

Maybe you can buy flats during your lunch break?

LilMissCanadian 22

Send a private message

Saturday 31 October 2015 2:28

If she has time, I don't see why she can't go home and get them.

brainsoverbeauty 21

Send a private message

Saturday 31 October 2015 5:03

Because there may be a pharmacy nearby that sells flexible flats by Dr. Scholl's that OP can buy, as opposed to traveling home and back to work, especially if the commute is long.

Send a private message

Thursday 19 November 2015 22:03

I live 45 minutes away from my job and have a 30 min lunch break max

Send a private message

Saturday 31 October 2015 1:33

Ouch my feet hurt in sympathy!

Send a private message

Saturday 31 October 2015 1:33

That just means he thought you looked good

justcommenting19 19

Send a private message

Saturday 31 October 2015 1:33

But I bet you're fabulous. But yeah, I feel you dude. I hate heels.

gamermonster 34

Send a private message

Saturday 31 October 2015 10:07

According to the high heels OP isn't a dude

DoomedGemini 37

Send a private message

Saturday 31 October 2015 22:10

I call anyone 'dude' regardless of gender.

Send a private message

Saturday 31 October 2015 1:34

"Incompetent management here!"

acantthinkofname 3

Send a private message

Saturday 31 October 2015 1:36

Whatever job is advertised by a sidewalk sign is probably not worth the high heels

Send a private message

Saturday 31 October 2015 2:21

there are some banks have sidewalk signs actually. Wellsfargo near my house does that from to time to time :p

Lalala579121 27

Send a private message

Saturday 31 October 2015 6:17

There's an insurance place near me that makes some guy dress up like the Statue of Liberty and dance around like an idiot.

sa5v 21

Send a private message

Saturday 31 October 2015 1:36

Sorry op! At least you looked good doing it!

kyrisonfusion 22

Send a private message

Saturday 31 October 2015 1:36

Is there anyone you can file a complaint to? Like HR or your boss' superior?

Send a private message

Saturday 31 October 2015 1:36

At least you know you looked good in your killer high heels. Either way Sorry OP I know how it feels to be in heels and on your feet all day, better luck next time!

Nearly

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 3

Today, I found out my mother listens to my therapy sessions. She’s the reason I need therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 1

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 71

Today, I’d been bicurious for years but always much too shy to seek out a woman to attempt intimacy. Well, I finally hooked up with a girl I’ve had a crush on for a while. Not only was it an amazing, mind-blowing experience, she also left me with a crotch searing yeast infection from hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 283