Today, my girlfriend and I decided to exchange presents for our birthdays. I spent $100 on perfume and Victoria's Secret clothes. She bought me a bag of lifesavers, then asked me to leave because she wanted to take a nap. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend came home and announced that she'd just bought a $40 pair of flipflops. She then declared that I wouldn't be getting a birthday gift this year due to budget shortfalls. For hers a month prior, I'd got her a $300 piece of jewelry. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to his best friend’s birthday party. He got her red roses, a necklace and $100 Victoria’s Secret Gift Card. This year he forgot my birthday, gave me a hug and told me to leave his apartment because he had homework to do. We’ve been together for two years. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a $100 gift card for Victoria's Secret. Suspicious, I checked the receipt he'd left in the bag. Turns out he had bought it during the two weeks we were broken up for some other girl who rejected him, so decided to give it to me instead. FML
Today, my girlfriend is locked in the bathroom crying because I didn't buy her anything for Valentine's Day, even though Friday, at her suggestion, we agreed not to exchange gifts because both of our birthdays are a week away. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML
Today, after buying my girlfriend an expensive gift for her birthday, cooking her breakfast in bed, and treating her all day ending with dinner and cake at her parents, she burst into tears and said the whole day was ruined. Why? I forgot to buy her a birthday card. FML
Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML
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Top comments
ayumi_fml 0
i would've taken back the presents while she was sleeping..
Bubs_fml 0
Imagine if the genders were reversed here? I mean, people are pissed now, but there'd be an epic thousand-comment ****storm going on in here if a guy was the culprit in this FML.
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Comments (149)
LOL_HI 0
^ you seem like a inconsiderate ass. Cdick i would advise you not to date cheap ass ****** that can easily be bought for a few dollars. She is no good for you MOVE ON
Hamish 0
You bought her Victoria Secret clothes and Perfume for $100? What, were they second hand? That must have been some cheap ass perfume.. Or you're lying.
artanis_neravar 0
@73 just because im curious, how could he possibly mistake dating for not dating at all?
KiyatsuFox 0
How mean, you should have taken back those gifts while she was asleep. :
xxxkristenx 0
so.. you guys have the same birthday?
kellster 2
At first my reaction was that this was totally cold and shitty. And then I read it again and thought, Victoria's Secret? Really? Did you give her something really slutty? If so, I would be insulted and ask you to leave, too. I agree that her present was crap, not really thoughtful at all. And it sucks that you clearly spent such different amounts on each other. But I do see #53's point - those were gifts that would benefit you, particularly the lingerie, not her. Most women prefer to choose their own lingerie, or at least have a say in it. She could have taken your choice as a commentary on her own choices of the past in that department and been offended. Or, as I said, if you got her something that was totally not her style or suggestive of something a **** star would wear, she could have felt demeaned. No decent woman likes to be associated with a dumbass, fake-boobed, indoor-tanned, dyed-blonde **** star! Lingerie is a pretty easy gift to **** up, in my opinion. You can go ahead and tell me that I'm illogical, but I'm just speaking for my kind. We're easily offended, sorry.
Origami86 6
wo wo wo easy on there tiger. not all pornstars are what you described. Asia Carrera is a member of Mensa, pretty much way smarter than the majority of people here, just like other pornstars have PhD's, Master's and Bachelor's Degrees. Just because people choose to do **** for a living, it doesn't mean they are less of a person. Respect above all.
mothafucka_fml 0
haha either your doing something wrong or shes using you
Laxer22 0
haha its ok it was me and my now ex gfs 2 year anv..i got her a white gold anklet with our initials, she got me m&ms....fml
pinkfrenchrose 5
Lol @ 67
shinigami777 1
#38, it's not about being materialistic it's about the fact that he spent his hard earned money, and she picked up his gift in the check out line. that's messed up any way you slice it. even if he didn't wanna get some he might have just wanted to spend time with her.