Today, my girlfriend and I decided to exchange presents for our birthdays. I spent $100 on perfume and Victoria's Secret clothes. She bought me a bag of lifesavers, then asked me to leave because she wanted to take a nap. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend came home and announced that she'd just bought a $40 pair of flipflops. She then declared that I wouldn't be getting a birthday gift this year due to budget shortfalls. For hers a month prior, I'd got her a $300 piece of jewelry. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to his best friend’s birthday party. He got her red roses, a necklace and $100 Victoria’s Secret Gift Card. This year he forgot my birthday, gave me a hug and told me to leave his apartment because he had homework to do. We’ve been together for two years. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a $100 gift card for Victoria's Secret. Suspicious, I checked the receipt he'd left in the bag. Turns out he had bought it during the two weeks we were broken up for some other girl who rejected him, so decided to give it to me instead. FML
Today, my girlfriend is locked in the bathroom crying because I didn't buy her anything for Valentine's Day, even though Friday, at her suggestion, we agreed not to exchange gifts because both of our birthdays are a week away. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML
Today, after buying my girlfriend an expensive gift for her birthday, cooking her breakfast in bed, and treating her all day ending with dinner and cake at her parents, she burst into tears and said the whole day was ruined. Why? I forgot to buy her a birthday card. FML
Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML
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Top comments
ayumi_fml 0
i would've taken back the presents while she was sleeping..
Bubs_fml 0
Imagine if the genders were reversed here? I mean, people are pissed now, but there'd be an epic thousand-comment ****storm going on in here if a guy was the culprit in this FML.
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Comments (149)
tincan 0
Have you been a two-timer? XD
Zic_fml 7
#43 you have missed the point (at least I think so). It doesn't matter she didn't want to splash out, the problem is she could have bought him something better for the same amount of money. I'd be most concerned with her kicking her guy out of the room on her birthday.
ScissorHappy 0
A bag of LIFESAVERS? What kind of a gift is that anyway? Even if she was broke... but a bag of LIFESAVERS? Are you trying to quit smoking or something? Bad breath? Or is it your favorite candy? I would make a necklace out of them, and give it to her for HER birthday.
MissNae 0
I think either this whole thing is made up or he is at least lying about what her bought her. You spent $100 and managed to get perfume and something from V.S.?! I think not.
Jack_Of_Spades 0
She wasn't taking a nap dude. She was going to call the guy she's cheating on you with to break in the new threads.
starbaby 0
I agree 17. And its equally messed up. I mean maybe if she actually tried to get you something meaningful and atleast thanked you, but a bag of lifesavers and asking for a nap? Totally looks like she's using you! You deserve better!
trappazoid 0
Awww, lifesavers are the best! Don't share any with that bitch!
_Elizabeth_ 0
Dump her cheap ass. And she should have been more thoughtful, I agree. Next time, set limits on money to spend on gifts? I would have been more pissed about the fact that she kicked you out afterward.
ddizz 0
well hello everyone this is the "girlfriend" from this little story first of all, we weren't dating, at least i wasnt aware of it. second, if i knew we were that serious, you would have gotten a better present- but considering we werent together, i got you your favorite candy and money for your favorite drink. not bad for a non-girlfriend. considering you stopped talking to me over a Virginia Tech football game, i have a feeling we werent that serious anyways. thanks for the post though- it was very entertaining.
Komarii 0
Dude, you weren't even going out and you dropped a hundred bones on her? *facepalm* At least she got you some seriously awesome candy.