Clean plates are overrated. Eating a little filth keeps your immune system on its toes.

hope you manage to get some help and get better op

I feel you I'm in that place myself, I hope you feel better.

Progress is progress, no matter how small. Try again tomorrow OP, you’ll get through it

I’m another one who’s dealing with the same thing. It’s hard.

Don’t let insults get to you, everyone handles things differently, not having the will to do what people consider a simple task is nothing to be ashamed of and is not the same thing as being lazy. I was called lazy for most of my life and became a “neat freak” to an unhealthy point. When I was finally old enough to be able to see a doctor on my own it turned out that I have a REM sleep disorder which drains my energy and causes depression. Their are some amazing advances in mental health, like TMS, or drug therapy. If you are in the US and have insurance maybe try to schedule a tele conference with a licensed psychiatrist. If you don’t have insurance there are still services available, I used a network called LifePath Systems when I was uninsured and they have access to free doctors and medicines. If you are from a country with universal healthcare I am sure there will be resources you can find. It is a lot easier nowadays to find help online. Good luck and I hope you find something that helps you get on a road to recovery, remember this is only temporary!

Please find someone to help you. I've been suffering from depression for years. There is relief.