Today, my financial troubles got so bad, I contemplated visiting a friend simply so I could swipe their deodorant. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML
Today, I realized that I'd run out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML
Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML
Today, I was standing in the gas station, pulling out my wallet to pay the $100 of gas I just filled my car with. I opened my wallet and found a note saying "borrowed money for food". FML
Today, while at work, I was trying to locate the source of the really bad BO wafting around, when I realized I'd forgotten to put on deodorant this morning. I have 5 hours of shame left to go. FML
Today, I had to use antiperspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML
Today, I had to use anti-perspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML
Today, I'm so poor that I've been scrounging around my house all day trying to find quarters and dimes so that I can buy myself a cup of coffee tomorrow. FML
Today, I'm so broke, I resorted to breaking into my old apartment complex to do my laundry in the basement for free. FML
Today, I'm so chronically sleep-deprived that I sprayed a bathroom air freshener under my arms instead of my deodorant. FML
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Top comments
natheitz 23
You could try getting a job getting shot at with paintballs for 6 hours
Jemm_fml 29
Please don't steal. Asking for help is a much better option. Better to borrow or even beg.
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Comments (85)
perdix 29
While you're there, swipe some toilet paper as well. The world wouldn't want you to run out of that, either. Don't be greedy and steal hair mousse!
Enslaved 36
You'd risk your friendship by stealing their deodorant? I only own one deodorant (kept on my top shelf in my medicine cabinet) and if it went missing I'd know someone took it. And if they were willing to steal something so petty I'd know they'd be capable of of stealing something of more value. Of course thinking and doing are two different things. Hope you don't stoop so low.
worldclassrager 39
Have you looked in the paintball category? Keep looking you should find a job soon...
SwtCherryPie 26
Being poor is no excuse for being an asshole. I'm sure a real friend would gladly give you a couple of dollars for some deodorant, and if you were truly their friend, you wouldn't be contemplating stealing from them.
gabagabaheyu 10
dr. bronners man. good for it all. one bottle = many uses.
KiddNYC1O 20
Seems like the norm nowadays.
AholeCop 11
If you steal enough coffee creamers, its almost like a glass of milk.
prinncess00 16
I don't like thieves OP... Even the thought creeps me. Good thing you didn't though.
queerdragon 20
Ask for a few bucks and buy deodorant. No need to steal from someone.
Sh3lbs 6
what a stinky friend