Today, my fiancé told me he wants a security guard to come with us on our honeymoon to Hawaii. Apparently, watching Dog the Bounty Hunter has made him feel unsafe. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm on vacation. I spent $4000 to surprise my boyfriend on a trip to Hawaii. We have been together over a year. Turns out, he hates the outdoors. He's mad at me for bringing him here and is upset at everything. He's in the room reading, I'm at the bar drinking $10 Mai Tai's. FML
Today, I found out that my fiancé is going to be deployed on our wedding day. FML
Today, my fiancée decided to go on a "vacation." Our wedding is tomorrow. FML
Today, my fiancé suggested we bring his elderly mother with us on our honeymoon. FML
Today, my wife is refusing to go on our honeymoon because the resort we chose won’t allow pets. She’s now angry with me for not checking before we booked the place, and is threatening divorce if I go without her. I told her we could just get a dog sitter, but she refuses. Oh well. FML
Today, I found out less than three weeks before my wedding that my fiancé will lose his new, great paying job, unless we cancel our nonrefundable honeymoon. FML
Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML
Today, I discovered that my fiancé had responded to an online missed connection posting. He has been emailing, exchanging pictures and making plans to go out with this girl. We are supposed to be married in the fall and just put down the non-refundable deposit on our reception site. FML
Today, I found out via Facebook status that my boyfriend is going to Hawaii with a group of friends, including his ex-girlfriend for a few weeks. When I confronted him about it, he said he didn't think I needed to know, and to mind my own business. I think I'm about to be single. FML
Today, I watched my fiancé ride off on my motorcycle with another girl. FML
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Top comments
JessieBrianneKim 3
Seriously guys, Dog the Bounty hunter is no laughing matter.
cBlackout 13
Tell him the truth. The only illegal activity on Hawaii is dealing pot :) not much goes on there except for amazingness.
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Comments (109)
KK3137 31
Why? Does he have a reason to be?
starwind3438 9
Then he would be called Cat the bounty hunter.
OfficeNinja 5
You are about to marry an idiot. So yea, FYL.
MsCane 6
I agree.
FMtechL 0
That makes no sense...
laxmtl28 6
im willing to do this job just pay for my trip and im there! cetified x-millitary support gunner :)
perdix 31
That's just a ruse. Once you say "I do," he's going to let you in on his three-way and wife-sharing fantasies. A lot of women don't go for that, especially at the start of a marriage, so he wanted to get you bound to him before giving you that info. Buy lots of lube!
BrotherTheo 31
I'm just curious, what would your average security guard do if he where so inclined to attempt to stop Dog anyway? I mean really, has your guy even looked at your average security guard? 'Observe and Report!' is their motto after all.....
FrankHotpants 31
I've been to Hawaii about 7 times now and I feel safer there then I do in most places I've traveled so I'm sure you'll be just fine.
ty1992_farmlife 12
He must have a warrent out for his arrest, better check in to that.
hateevryone 15
maybe you need to run a background check on him. Dog is probably looking for him.