Miscellaneous: Today, my family and I were watching Mulan, and I mentioned that... - FML

By hot4donny - 12/11/2010 02:40 - United States

Today, my family and I were watching Mulan, and I mentioned that I've always had a crush on Shang. After going into detail about how I would "marry his sexy voice" I decided to look up this mystery dream man. To my surprise he was played by Donny Osmond. I will never live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 992

You deserved it 26 894

Good kid

Own it

Happy Anniversary!

By confidence taken - 23/08/2014 06:26 - United States - Bay Springs

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 872

You deserved it 5 826

By Instacreep - 20/03/2018 01:30

Today, I found out that when someone posts a "story" on Instagram, they can see who has viewed it and how many times. I have been viewing an ex's story every day for the past week. We do not follow each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 114

You deserved it 4 361

By suppressinggags - 18/03/2016 19:45 - United States - Kennett

Today, I found out that my stepsister loves sticking random household objects in her ear in an attempt to collect ear wax. I found out when I walked in on her trying to pick all the wax out of the bristles of my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 460

You deserved it 1 227

By Anonymous - 04/06/2013 16:05 - United States

Today, I had to walk home in the rain because my mom didn't want to get her new car wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 082

You deserved it 4 025

By unknown - 28/05/2019 04:00

Today, I dissected a baby pig. All I could think about was Wilber from Charlotte's Web. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 295

By Anonymous - 27/10/2014 06:01 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for Halloween. He said "Single". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 934

You deserved it 5 160

Humpty Dumpy

By traumatized - 12/04/2014 18:07 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 207

You deserved it 9 313

By Mandy93 - 20/12/2012 13:57 - Germany - Reipoltskirchen

Today, my mother has stooped to a new level of "hiding" Christmas gifts. She now just dumps them in the middle of the floor and says, "Don't look at them." If she even thinks I'm glancing in the direction of the pile, she will burst into a manic rage, and yell at me for "ruining the surprise." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 118

You deserved it 7 676

By hopeless - 14/02/2015 20:04 - Canada - Halifax

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 660

You deserved it 2 859

By mcdonalds - 06/08/2013 04:11 - United States

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 125

You deserved it 4 824

By FML - 12/08/2010 16:19 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend's mom and dad walked in on us while we were playing naked twister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 098

You deserved it 36 212

By notattractiveatall - 15/10/2012 22:09 - Australia - Newcastle

Today, two girls came up to me on the street and asked if they could take a photo with me for their high school scavenger hunt, because they needed a picture with a stranger. One of the girls shook her head and said to the other, "It needs to be an attractive stranger" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 701

You deserved it 1 750

By UUUGHHH - 05/02/2016 20:33 - France - Villejuif

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 081

You deserved it 2 694

By Anonymous - 12/10/2014 20:46 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I received an email from an angry parent, demanding that I give his daughter an A on a project which I had given her a 0 on. The project was to pick an article related to science and to write an essay on it. Hers was a hoax article relating to Ebola patients rising from the dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 519

You deserved it 5 687

Assumptions

By Martin s - 08/05/2021 01:59 - United States - Manahawkin

Today, I saw the crazy meth guy, who randomly rolls up on you on his bike and tells you how he met Jesus, leading a little boy behind a church. After I made sure nothing weird was happening, I reported it to the police and posted a status to warn parents on Facebook, I found it was actually his kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 862

By notsohappyniece - 02/11/2009 16:10 - United States

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 831

You deserved it 3 757

By failout - 05/03/2009 21:36 - United States

Today, there was a story called "Looking Good" about fashion in school that ran in the local newspaper. On the front page of that section it featured a picture of my class. I was photoshopped out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 972

You deserved it 4 993

By crazy mother in law - 17/12/2012 18:48

Spicy

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 981

You deserved it 4 994

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 11:13 - Switzerland

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 757

You deserved it 97 444

By scorpionsurviver - 08/07/2012 09:47 - United States

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 343

You deserved it 6 551

By Anonymous - 22/10/2010 09:04 - Australia

Today, I was walking home down a small street while listening to my iPod. I really got into the music, and started to dance really badly, only to realise there was a car following me, trying to get past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 203

You deserved it 31 616

By suspended - 31/07/2016 15:39 - United States - Grand Blanc

Today, I had to give an important presentation, so I checked it over one last time before taking a shower and heading out. I found out too late that my brother used that window of opportunity to replace the entire document with the N-word repeating over and over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 943

You deserved it 2 057

By Anonymous - 04/05/2011 21:53 - Ireland

Today, I was getting funny looks all day. When I got home I realised that I was interrupted while doing my make-up this morning and completely forgot to fill in my second eye brow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 917

You deserved it 28 711

By Not Mrs Soprano - 08/07/2013 11:57 - United States - Irvington

Today, my husband's recent obsession with The Sopranos since James Gandolfini died went a step further into the ridiculous, when he tried to encourage some ducks to land in our swimming pool by throwing loaves of bread into it, while bellowing at them with a 'Noo Joisey' Wise Guy accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 997

You deserved it 3 533

By Anonymous - 06/11/2013 17:29 - United States - Davenport

Today, the guy I really like asked me if I'd like to go to a hockey game this weekend. I said I'd love to go, so he said, "Then you'd best get a ticket soon before they sell out." I still don't know if I have a date or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 866

You deserved it 4 444

Seize the means

By pygmyfrog - 10/12/2020 14:02

Today, I watched a supervisor in our workspace staple an underling's skirt to her shirt, as the supervisor didn't like her wearing a hip-level skirt, despite having no public contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 64

By Anonymous - 12/02/2012 04:25 - United States

Today, after parking my car, I was informed by an incredibly hot girl that my tail light was faulty. I tried hitting it to make it work again. Guess who has 5 stitches and a smashed tail light? FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 753

You deserved it 35 946

Tough times

By Asha Toone - 31/01/2021 08:02

Today, I started noticing how unnecessarily hard it is to get a basic job such as a cashier or server, even though you already have experience in that field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 73

By astroloser - 07/03/2009 16:10 - Philippines

Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 202

You deserved it 18 036

By bet a woman would've been thanked - 07/05/2013 20:21 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 035

You deserved it 3 092

By Lonely626 - 16/06/2016 22:26

Today, while talking with a coworker, we discussed a weekend home invasion scenario. It was then that I realized my social circle is so non-existent, that my job would notice I'm gone before my friends would. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 872

You deserved it 1 246

By Summer Loving Happened So Fast - 02/12/2014 17:59 - United States - Cookeville

Spicy

Today, after two years, my girlfriend finally got over her intimacy and commitment problems, with a guy she met over the summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 074

You deserved it 3 266

By Username - 13/12/2010 18:10 - United States

Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 988

You deserved it 4 277

By anonymous - 30/01/2018 06:00

Today, I ended up in an awkward position during sex and dislocated my knee. My wife accused me of doing it on purpose to criticize her for being too fat and heavy for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 280

You deserved it 506

By lilipalmer - 13/02/2015 06:44 - France

Today, I awoke after 4 hours of surgery. The male nurse taking care of me is cute, very cute. I'm trying my best to seem fine and dandy when he tells me that I can't eat anything before my next poop, adding, "And don't flush it, OK? I need to check." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 439

You deserved it 3 402

By weeble_wobbles09 - 26/12/2009 02:06 - United States

Today, my Nana showed me her new sign that says, "Some of my greatest blessings call me Nana." We stood there looking at a wall FULL of pictures of her grandkids, which is where she wanted to hang it. After scanning the wall a couple times, I realized. There was not one picture of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 372

You deserved it 2 807

Nature hates me

By Anonymous - 19/10/2021 05:00

Today, we all know how terrible those long, silent farts can be, right? Especially when they’re coming from your expensive, self-inflating air mattress, and you’re just about the farthest distance from home on a bikepacking trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 133

By jilted - 21/03/2009 07:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431 926

You deserved it 46 523

By will3000 - 12/01/2011 13:28

Today, I was on my way to work behind a very slow car. At a red light, the lady came over and punched me in the face for following her too closely. We are coworkers and our desks are next to each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 478

You deserved it 4 222

Munchausen by proxy

By Anonymous - 29/10/2020 05:01

Today, I was just told by a hiring manager that the reasons I'm not getting interviews is because I have a spotty work history. My work history is spotty because my mother ignores my food allergies so she can get attention and, as a result, I'm chronically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 093

You deserved it 170

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Top comments

allmidnighteyes 10

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Friday 12 November 2010 9:19

Donny Osmond only did his singing voice, so you technically want two guys. The other guy who did his talking voice also played Dr. Huang on Law & Order: SVU...

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Friday 12 November 2010 9:11

it's ok Op, I liked John Smith until I realized he was voiced by Mel Gibson! hahaha

Comments

hairdreser0nfire 0

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Friday 12 November 2010 9:06

Hey donny and his mouthful of teeth are hot....... yeah, not really.

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Friday 12 November 2010 9:16

Okay.

iSitt 0

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Friday 12 November 2010 9:27

has op considered converting to Mormon ?

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Friday 12 November 2010 10:09

doesn't every normal person have a mouth full of teeth...?

hairdreser0nfire 0

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Friday 12 November 2010 10:19

No, not all people 29. Thanks for being so observant though. I meant big teeth, a mouthful of big chompers.

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Friday 12 November 2010 14:03

Donny is only his voice when he's singing

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Friday 12 November 2010 18:02

;

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Saturday 13 November 2010 5:56

they are beautiful... he is pretty hot for someone in their 50s

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Tuesday 13 March 2012 5:19

you can still have "oral" sex! *budum tss*

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 23:34

Wait Donny osmond is just his singing voice, his real voice character is BD wong

chelle_starlight 0

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Friday 12 November 2010 9:07

relax op...it's just puppy love...

12596 0

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Friday 12 November 2010 9:31

Donny osmond is only the singing voice of Shang the regular voice is BD Wong

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Friday 12 November 2010 22:12

B.D. Wong is openly gay. So it's still an FML for her, but it certainly does not compare to Donny Osmond.

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Saturday 13 November 2010 2:00

MUSE!!!!

anorexicbarbie 8

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Friday 12 November 2010 9:11

His forehead looks swollen... is he related to Tyra Banks?

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Friday 12 November 2010 9:58

lol. yes he is.

allmidnighteyes 10

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Friday 12 November 2010 10:00

Tyra Banks was cooler back when her name was still RuPaul.

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Friday 12 November 2010 9:11

lol atleast hes not totally gross for his age

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Friday 12 November 2010 9:11

it's ok Op, I liked John Smith until I realized he was voiced by Mel Gibson! hahaha

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Friday 12 November 2010 10:36

Right! Same here. So disturbing.

nerdsgetmehot 22

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Friday 12 November 2010 19:54

Mel Gibson used to be hot.

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Saturday 13 November 2010 0:50

Mel is a douche

nerdsgetmehot 22

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Saturday 13 November 2010 1:26

#88 Yes, he's a douche, but that still has nothing to do with the fact that he used to be hot.

cactuspancake 0

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Sunday 14 November 2010 9:19

man I've had a crush on Mel since braveheart!! but recently age is not making him look so great... and he's pretty weird

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Wednesday 27 April 2011 1:38

But Thomas is Christian Bale!

thesunsetglow_fml 8

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Saturday 25 June 2011 2:25

IS IT ACTUALLY?? omg.

ILikeBigBoobs 2

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Friday 12 November 2010 9:15

ydi for being a slut.

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Friday 12 November 2010 9:27

lmfao

EagorLuvsBigFoot 8

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Saturday 13 November 2010 13:46

I'm sorry but... how is she being a slut?

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Friday 12 November 2010 9:16

Maybe next time you shouldn't go into so much detail about your creepy cartoon fantasies.

technicolourain1 0

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Friday 1 April 2011 21:07

lmao

allmidnighteyes 10

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Friday 12 November 2010 9:19

Donny Osmond only did his singing voice, so you technically want two guys. The other guy who did his talking voice also played Dr. Huang on Law & Order: SVU...

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Friday 12 November 2010 13:13

i love the guy from L&O:SVU, he is a sexy man.

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Friday 12 November 2010 20:25

yeah his names B.D. Wong

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Monday 1 August 2011 7:00

He's also gay. I love him in Law & Order and he does have a sexy voice... Well for sure in Mulan. But yeah, Donny Osmond just did the singing.

TOPsCinderella 25

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Wednesday 25 February 2015 20:31

I'm glad someone said that, I was ready to flip lol, I love B.D. Wong!

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Friday 12 November 2010 9:21

Actually I looked it up too since I was curious, well Donny Osmond did play Shang, but as the singing voice for Shang. The actual voice was played by B.D Wong.

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Friday 12 November 2010 17:39

why look it up when like 5 people have already said that before you?..

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Friday 12 November 2010 9:37

haha the weird thing is i did practically the same thing the other day. i got the song he sings on my iPod and was like "what a great voice", looked him up and now everytime i listen to it all i can see is his face :/

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 4

Spicy

Spicy

Today, at the age of 25, I learned that it is not normal to have absolutely zero sexual desire. All this time, I thought you had to have sex first before developing a sex drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 28

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 146