Today, my family and I were burning our Christmas tree. For a laugh, my dad jokingly pushed me toward the fire. I tripped, and my doctor says the burns are probably going to scar. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year-old guy. FML
Today, I finally put my Christmas lights up. In the process, a branch from the bush in my yard smacked me in the face, giving me a very noticeable scar on my nose. I have a photo session tomorrow. FML
Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML
Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, I was in a car accident, two days before Christmas. I'm now laying at home, not able to walk. My whole family thinks that I'm joking. A car drove over my foot, I'm not joking. FML
Today, I went sledding with my friends. I said I was tired and didn't want to go, but they press-ganged me into it. I ended up sledding right into a tree, fracturing my leg, and scraping up my entire face. FML
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
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Top comments
gleeeeek 7
You should jokingly push him in a frozen lake...
drooller 9
Make him pay for plastic surgery..
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Comments (178)
chris3113 7
yeap your dad prob hates you.. fyl...
u_mad_bro_fml 13
Real smooth, dad... I believe there are certain kinds of lotions you could use for the burn scars op, to help them not show up as badly.. hopefully he didn't mean for you to trip into the fire but either way he still deserves to feel bad!
rttr 18
Who burns Christmas trees? And your dad is hella irresponsible.
xxDefiantxx 0
Bear the scars proudly and say you got jumped by 20 bodybuilders
Bently24 6
Your dad is an asshole.
drone1337 0
Always happens in Arizona.
beebeeL 1
Damn that's hilarious.
ea247 20
Geeez thanks pop!!!
Okayitwasme 0
Well, I seen a guy strap his baby in her car seat on the front of a 4 wheeler(quad). He thought it was legit! Thank god he was driving beside the hiway and a cop stopped him! It was 100 degrees out! Sorry to hear about your burns! Maybe it won't show much.
hrubi4x4 4
Uh oh. Im a good daddy id wear one of those body car seats that straps to me! Lol plus i dont take my kids on my 4wheelers. Normally...
Okayitwasme 0
It was weird! Saw him on the other side of the hiway, just a given Er! Baby had no helmet of course. He got pissy at the cop because it ruined their trip into the bush. Now his wife had to stay behind with the baby! Too messed up. Should have charged him! To top it off they were headed into grizzly country. Hiway is called the grizzly trail!
bubo_fml 11
I feel your pain! Once, my Dad lowered me into a black widow infested window well to clean it out...To this day, I wish I shoed him in the nuts!