Today, my family and I were burning our Christmas tree. For a laugh, my dad jokingly pushed me toward the fire. I tripped, and my doctor says the burns are probably going to scar. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year-old guy. FML
Today, I finally put my Christmas lights up. In the process, a branch from the bush in my yard smacked me in the face, giving me a very noticeable scar on my nose. I have a photo session tomorrow. FML
Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML
Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, I was in a car accident, two days before Christmas. I'm now laying at home, not able to walk. My whole family thinks that I'm joking. A car drove over my foot, I'm not joking. FML
Today, I went sledding with my friends. I said I was tired and didn't want to go, but they press-ganged me into it. I ended up sledding right into a tree, fracturing my leg, and scraping up my entire face. FML
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
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Top comments
gleeeeek 7
You should jokingly push him in a frozen lake...
drooller 9
Make him pay for plastic surgery..
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Comments (178)
Cartera 10
Well, everyone knows that parents tend to go overboard.
Nukorav 2
I guessed Arizona as I was reading the story, I was right.
Goddamnidiots 12
Is there something wrong with Arizona
switchgurl20 17
use cocoa butter once the skin heals. the burn shouldnt scar if u take proper care of it
triggerit 5
Scar decorates a man...
5t3ff1k4h 47
What if OP is a woman?
cyK0tek 0
Cool! You gonna get a eye-scar like Zuko?? I mean- ouch...damn.
bizarre_ftw 22
On the bright side, every time he tries to discipline you, or in any way denies you anything, all you have to say is "fine, not as bad as living with This!"
aimeesea75 16
Yeah, as a joke. And your mom probably fell on a doorknob. Right?
THE_A_TEEN 28
'That's what I get for leaving the mop out' Free Doughnuts if you get this reference. :)
Volleyball1o 0
Late present, Merry christmas!
sms1974 3
OP, your dad should rot in jail.
niki92 5
Is it really a good idea to be burning anything in Arizona of all places? Anywho, you're dad's a little asswipe and shouldn't even be allowed to have that title.