Today, my family and I were burning our Christmas tree. For a laugh, my dad jokingly pushed me toward the fire. I tripped, and my doctor says the burns are probably going to scar. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year-old guy. FML
Today, I finally put my Christmas lights up. In the process, a branch from the bush in my yard smacked me in the face, giving me a very noticeable scar on my nose. I have a photo session tomorrow. FML
Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML
Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, I was in a car accident, two days before Christmas. I'm now laying at home, not able to walk. My whole family thinks that I'm joking. A car drove over my foot, I'm not joking. FML
Today, I went sledding with my friends. I said I was tired and didn't want to go, but they press-ganged me into it. I ended up sledding right into a tree, fracturing my leg, and scraping up my entire face. FML
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
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Top comments
gleeeeek 7
You should jokingly push him in a frozen lake...
drooller 9
Make him pay for plastic surgery..
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Comments (178)
friedchickenpie 14
I never knew that the Christmas tradition involved BURNING your tree.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Burning your Christmas tree? You Scrooge! :p That's so uncool though, what your father did. Sue him! Oh, and try a fake Christmas tree - you can take it down and put it up whenever you want, don't have to water it, and don't have to worry about sap and pine needles all over the floor. Plus, instead of burning it, you can box it up for next year and save a bundle. ;)
chronick89 5
Sounds redneck the whole thing!!
XxTooCoolxX 0
How many times you been called Freddy Krugar........ Fred.
hope540 0
I honestly don't know what funnier the fact that your own father tried to take you out Or the fact that you thought he was joking.
jingajanga 0
Fill his stockings with bars of soap and beat him with it while he's asleep
maddyyghee 6
Ur dads a ****** idiot. Sorry bout the scaring OP :(
fatty_mcfathead 0
Awh:( FML. FML for your dad too though-I bet he felt terrible
Lisa1993_fml 1
Your Dad is a cruel man
freshwolf 0
wanna know how I got these scars?