Today, my extremely OCD girlfriend wouldn't have sex with me because my bedroom wasn't "properly symmetrical." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fiancée's OCD hit a new low when she screamed at me for flicking the light-switch off "the wrong way". This led to her flicking it on and off about a dozen times, followed by a twenty-minute lecture on how to do it "properly". We're getting married next month. FML
Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML
Today, I washed all the dishes and cups from the family dinner last night and put them away. When my wife saw, she had a mini OCD breakdown and yelled at me because the cups weren't lined up with each other with the handles aligned and the flower pictures facing out left. FML
Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it up due to how utterly terrified she looked. Now no matter what I say, she thinks it's all because her body is hideous. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend felt the need to ask me if I could get my ladder and clean the ceiling, because it looked dusty with a spiderweb in the corner. I didn’t realise I was so boring in bed that she had the time to examine the ceiling and plan my chore list. FML
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
Today, while having sex I realized two things. First, I can't remember the last time my boyfriend gave me an orgasm, and secondly I think the curtains slightly clash with the duvet cover. I was more annoyed with the second one. FML
Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML
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Top comments
MikeDa1Da 14
Hopefully your penis is properly symmetrical.
heythereyouu_fml 4
Well then, make it "properly symmetrical".(:
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Comments (77)
Epsilonyx 15
Tell her, "Your pussy is so symmetrical, baby." Sex ensues.
Sarah_moustache 9
Put a bag over her head. Make sure it's on properly before she blows her top about that too.
carlosantana0219 2
I wouldn't put a bag over your head. And that is a compliment
somewhatshaky 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
that's funny ,who the hell cares,just have it off
Epsilonyx 15
That would be a good idea, had she not been the one to deny him the opportunity. Otherwise, that'd be called rape.
van_helsing 6
OCD stands for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, so it's a noun, not an adjective.
MikeDa1Da 14
Google the proper usage of it.
hero93 6
why would people vote this negatively? Some people really need to learn the meaning of OCD and quit making it out to be some kind of cute self-diagnosed adjective.
chogle 8
18- I did what you said and googled the proper use and OCD is still a noun, not an adjective.
stupidisntcute 0
Alot of people say they are OCD to get attention! Its fact!! Mostly women!
Marom 3
get her a psychologist
coltsrock37 15
If she's willing to go the distance, take her to some plain even sided place, like a set in Steinhafel's or Ashley Furniture. That'll keep those employees on their post Christmas toes.
MissusDolly 12
Just tell her it will mess up your feng shui if you change everything around.
Mr25_fml 14
take it to the living room
dangousity 21
Dump it she needs fixed
ladycamo 0
ummm, what??
ZeDolphinator 7
I wasn't aware women could be "fixed."
squirrel1215 5
"It?" Yes, let's take relationship advice from someone who sees women as objects. She's not a car, buddy.
attaboy368 20
is there another room that is properly aligned?