By vicgal - 14/08/2009 18:33 - Canada

Today, while having sex I realized two things. First, I can't remember the last time my boyfriend gave me an orgasm, and secondly I think the curtains slightly clash with the duvet cover. I was more annoyed with the second one. FML
I agree, your life sucks 50 033
You deserved it 10 683

Same thing different taste

Top comments

They're your priorities, so why is this an FML? Perhaps the reason you're not enjoying sex is because you're lying there paying attention to the curtains?

brrrx 0

Sounds like you should start having sex in the dark...


emilyisbomb 0
lmmmr 0

WHOOP WHOOP A woman who doesn't expect men to read minds! You're my hero. I'm gonna make you a ******* statue. Hmm. This is supposed to be a reply to 14. Don't know how it ended up here.

Well, that's not special at all. Screw the FML trolls, the Facbeook Bathroom Wall ones are sooo much better. Seriously. Except for maybe LatinoHeat.

yanni222 0

what she should do is use her curtains as toilet paper, and beat her husband

Hey I have a question....I'm not disagreeing with #14, because it was her statement that made me wonder. What is the point of having sex with someone else when we can all just "pleasure ourselves"? Clearly we don't want to "do" ourselves constantly, and there's actually more to sex in a commited relationship than orgasms, so if OP isn't really interested in sex with her boyfriend in the first place (Why else would she be paying attention to the curtains?), there's other issues there besides not reaching an ****** because she doesn't do her share... (argh wtf, this was supposed to be to #14)

I completely agree that the women of the world need to get amongst it and throw themselves into the act so they can get more pleasure out of it. Communication, direction, actively showing the gentleman involved how it's done - these are all HUGELY important things. But sometimes, it just doesn't cut it. There are blokes out there who are selfish, stupid, sexually inept, or a tragic combination of all three, and no amount of talking or showing or trying or teaching on behalf of the woman gleans any kind of progress or joy. This isn't about ego, fellas, it's just the facts. As much as we'd like to think it's the ladies not trying hard enough, sometimes, blokes just suck in bed (just like women can, too). It's the cold, hard truth, and those in denial should learn to accept it - only with acceptance can there be recovery. How about cutting the frustrated women of the world some slack? I agree with Plexico (in his infinite wisdom): "You say she is not enjoying sex because she is looking at the curtains. I think she is looking at the curtains because she is not enjoying the sex." I'm so sick of everyone assuming it's the woman's fault, and the blokes using it as an excuse to cheer on that thought and delve deeper into denial. Using this one as an example, check it out: Everyone assumes she's not trying/communicating/educating because she's looking at the curtains and they bothered her more than the lack of ****** - fact is, she could have been doing all those things for years, and if she has been and just gets nowhere, then I really don't blame her for giving up and staring at the ceiling and not expecting anything different. It's a sad reality, but I've had it happen to friends before - they get nowhere with their attempts to make sex better due to an either unwilling or incompetent partner, so sex becomes a chore, and they get their happies on their own time. And to me, that is truly tragic. Like I said, I totally agree that there are girls out there who think that achieving the elusive goal is something that has to be done *to* her, failing to realise it is a goal best shared *with* her. I'm just saying we shouldn't bite the friggen heads off of every poster who complains about it like they are WITHOUT DOUBT these kinds of girls, and give the poor ladies a break. I also agree with the whole “Don’t complain if you’re not doing anything to change it” attitude out there. But like I said, I don’t blame a girl for losing heart if she’s tried and tried and tried and still yields no results. Also, ease up on the specific linguistics and learn to read what is really meant by "give" in this context - when one partner is pleasing the other, it is loosely known as “giving”. Just because one partner is giving, doesn’t mean the other partner is lying there doing nothing – even if they do some self loving during the process, it still falls under that umbrella of having been “given” an ****** because of the... assistance :) Edit: Supposed to be a reply to a much, much lower comment. No idea how I got up here.

myfishisBOBA 0

That sucks. i agree with 112. If sex sucks, its on both of them. His fault for not making sure she's enjoying it, and her fault for not making sure he's enjoying it/not doing anything. A lot of women are problems with sex because they don't know what to expect/do. Society values virgin women more then anything. If she does know her shit, then she's labeled as a "ho" cause of her experience. So boys, let her know it's okay to like sex!! But seriously if your gonna ****, you might as well enjoy it! Get some toys, dress up, watch some **** or SOMETHING. Or get one of those vibrators that you strap on to the guy's wiener and ride it, yee-haaw!!

@112 When I first saw this comment, I thought "Holy shit this thing is long!" Then I read it and thought "This guy makes sense..." I agree with the girlfriend actually doing something though. Even just saying stuff. But hey, if shes tried shes tried. Either one works.

d75s74j73s67 0

She should be annoyed that her boyfriend's too shit in bed to make her cum, but she's more pissed off that the curtains don't go with the sheets. Anyhow, OP: change your sheets, dump your boyfriend.

mrhahn530 0

oh my god #14 I didnt know girls like you Why are you not on TV teaching other girls about this logic concept?

14..I love you will you marry me? =P haha wow that is one of the best things I have ever read in my life. On behalf of all men; THANK YOU!. Oh and OP grow a pair and teach the boy what to do

thtnerdykid 0
lmmmr 0

I think the issue here is more that the girl herself hasn't figured out what works for her yet, not that she is simply too lazy to tell her boyfriend.

#30, she doesn't exist. She is a figment of your imagination.

SOMAgirl, you are my ******* hero. More women should be like you. Hell, all women should. repyourcliche, you're a selfish, childish bitch and I hope you never enjoy an ****** in your entire life. #45, just because OP doesn't know her body inside and out doesn't give her an excuse to not communicate. OP, if you're not getting your pleasure, talk to your boyfriend. If you don't know what to tell him, explore with him. If you were literally bored with the sex, then you were probably going at it for a while. In which case I guarantee you he was doing everything in his power to pleasure you. And yet you don't care enough to help him. If anything, he should dump you for not caring enough about him to talk to him.

So what if you do communicate and do try to figure it out, and your guy still can't give you an ****** then what?

Couldn't have said it better myself. To # 14.

Then you're not trying hard enough. If you can give yourself an ******, your partner can give you one.

SOMAgirl, I think the entire male gender is in love with you! Can we buy you a drink? What are you doing later? You're dreamy! ;)

#14, I LOVE YOU ! your the coolest girl EVER. damn if only all women were like that.

Plexico, love may be a bit exaggerated but grateful, yes :) *bows for SOMAgirl*

nicole1123 0

i completely agree with you. & OP is a douche

OnerousMemories 0
darklove6792 0

wow your bf has a small penis..

d75s74j73s67 0
brrrx 0

Sounds like you should start having sex in the dark...

i would have just stopped and gone over to the curtains and fixed them lol

TobyLuckhurst 0

Not an FML at all. YDI OP. Learn to communicate, take charge, show him what gets you off, I'm sure he'd be eager to learn.

They're your priorities, so why is this an FML? Perhaps the reason you're not enjoying sex is because you're lying there paying attention to the curtains?

That was my thought. If you want your bf to be good in bed you should HELP him. We aren't psychics, we can't feel what you feel. You gotta help us if we aren't doing anything right. I'm glad my gf communicats. ^_^

It's the old chicken-and-egg problem. You say she is not enjoying sex because she is looking at the curtains. I think she is looking at the curtains because she is not enjoying the sex. Maybe she is trying to help him by staring at the curtain rod and trying to imagine what a rock-hard pole would feel like, instead of her boyfriend's flaccid, mushy dick.

lmmmr 0