Kids: Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's...

By OakStake - 08/12/2013 22:07 - United States - New York

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 308

You deserved it 3 421

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/06/2016 02:45 - United States - Chillicothe

Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I said no, she started crying so much that her mom came out 5 minutes later and demanded that I give her daughter the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 802

You deserved it 1 269

By Anonymous - 14/07/2013 04:13 - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, some guys were doing construction on my house, when one of them came over and started asking me about my "hot sister". That "sister" is my 13-year-old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 073

You deserved it 4 427

By JubileeBee - 28/09/2011 10:46 - United States

Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 357

You deserved it 2 416

By secretsmakefriends - 15/10/2013 21:43 - United States - Vashon

Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 830

You deserved it 5 171

By walker - 06/07/2013 04:17 - United States

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 671

You deserved it 4 905

Kids, eh?

By Anonymous - 23/10/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my four year-old daughter when we met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman I know. My daughter looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn’t your skin fit your face?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 551

You deserved it 168

By orcatheseapanda - 09/01/2016 05:14 - Thailand

Today, I was stretching on the balcony, when I heard my neighbor's daughter scream. She was playing in their kiddie pool and thought I was peeping on her. And now her parents think so too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 175

You deserved it 1 413

By WanstinChurchHill - 08/09/2009 07:11 - United States

Today, I met a nice girl and decided to ask her out. Later on she showed me a picture of her with her family, she was wearing red and everyone else black. I said jokingly "you look like the adopted child" only to find out that her had parents died and she was indeed adopted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 363

You deserved it 41 254

By Anonymous - 07/04/2009 16:36 - United States

Today, I was working at a portrait studio and was taking pictures of a little girl, I kept telling the girl to stop making silly faces when she smiles because her eyes go cross-eyed. After the third time I said it her mom grabbed the little girl and left. Turns out, she was naturally cross-eyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 533

You deserved it 58 231

By BlackRavenWings - 21/11/2010 22:36 - United States

Today, I noticed a picture in an elderly patients room, of a pretty girl in a bikini. Trying to be funny and lighten the mood, I said, "Looks like you have some good eye candy to help you recover faster." With a stern look he replied, "That's my granddaughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 910

You deserved it 35 706

chottu 16

Monday 9 December 2013 6:08

Some people are just crazy, don't mind them. I'm sure your daughter is beautiful.

VengeanceChicken 12

Monday 9 December 2013 6:09

Just slowly close the door and whisper "Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnneeeeee...."

Comments

Dmc169 9

Monday 9 December 2013 6:34

Then use their fear to your advantage

binaryplatypus 4

Monday 9 December 2013 6:37

Your life sucks. I guess they just think your daughter does too...

flashback_fml 14

Monday 9 December 2013 6:44

I guess that's the formal way of abducting a child

arre2006 19

Monday 9 December 2013 6:47

Well, time for a restraining order against those crazy old *****

calipilot227 16

Monday 9 December 2013 6:47

Call the police. That's harassment. And I wouldn't put it past these crazy religious fanatics to attempt a kidnapping.

RileyTheCoyote 6

Monday 9 December 2013 6:48

I call BS.

dryuminoru576 16

Monday 9 December 2013 6:49

Dude apart from the photo sensitive part, that sounds really cool! Lucky girl I'm sure she'll grow up to be extra beautiful :)

mia_marie01 11

Monday 9 December 2013 6:53

Red irises? That sounds beautifully unique! Never seen or heard of such a thing! Ignore those people they're crazy.

apu_nahasapeemap 10

Monday 9 December 2013 7:07

What did they think they'd do with "the girl" if you actually handed her over?

wingL 11

Monday 9 December 2013 7:10

would really like to see a photo.. =)

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The Top

Today, I discovered my boyfriend's spider-infested shed where I refused to set foot, where he is constantly fixing the mower, bikes, or his car, is actually just a sound recording of power tools he plays so I won’t go down and disturb him. He has a TV, an Xbox, and a fridge in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 547

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 166

The Top

Today, at my grandparent's funeral, we were waiting for the pastor. He was fashionably late because he couldn't find his sunglasses and had gone to buy new ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 378

You deserved it 3 347

Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 799

You deserved it 4 757

Today, my bitch of a boss sent out a group text saying she'd had a chainsaw accident and lost the tips of 4 of her fingers and would be out indefinitely. When I told my boyfriend, his immediate response was to grab my phone and reply "I'm stumped, I don't know what to say." She hasn't responded yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 411

You deserved it 1 917

Today, I had a date over for the first time since I moved out. I made a beautiful dinner… for one of us. I'm so used to cooking for just myself that I only made one serving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 449

You deserved it 11 133

Today, my laziness hit a new low when I tried closing my bedroom door using my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 936

You deserved it 21 115

Today, I sat down and worked out I get paid £26000 a year for working 40 hours a week. Meanwhile my boss gets paid £115000 to answer emails when he remembers to and to attend 5 hours of mandatory meetings a month, which he now does over video chat from his vacation cottage in Scotland. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 107

Same thing different taste

Kids, eh?

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