Love, Drunk and Suspicious: This is fine - FML

This is fine

By Changing the locks tomorrow - 08/03/2023 06:00

Today, it’s almost half past midnight. I received a drunken voicemail from my husband saying that he won’t be coming home tonight because he’s too drunk to drive, but don’t worry, he’s staying at "Cindy’s house", safe and sound. Who's Cindy? FML

agreeclassic 1 049

vote type 1 134

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Explain yourself

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

agreeclassic 51 307

vote type 1 4 602

By Helen - 10/11/2012 10:15 - United States - Pine Bluff

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

agreeclassic 35 110

vote type 1 3 096

By nicetomeetyou2 - 25/09/2013 16:35 - Canada - Nepean

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2 p.m. and screamed out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

agreeclassic 41 734

vote type 1 3 518

By Grinch - 24/12/2016 12:08

Today, it's Xmas Eve, and my partner's quick afternoon catch-up with his friends has turned into 5 messy drunks in our house at 1am. So it's no to the "us" time evening we had planned before spending tomorrow with our families who live over 3 hours away. Guess who had promised to drive and now can't? FML

agreeclassic 7 403

vote type 1 736

By TheOtherWoman - 20/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML

agreeclassic 40 058

vote type 1 12 808

By thelunarwolf - 02/03/2011 03:41

Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML

agreeclassic 28 885

vote type 1 8 885

By Renée - 25/08/2018 03:30

Today, I found out that my husband lied a few nights ago and was actually drinking with another woman at her house until after midnight. This woman is his best friend’s ex-fiancée, and she's been hitting on my husband for as long as I can remember. FML

agreeclassic 3 181

vote type 1 238

By Katie - 09/10/2012 05:42 - United States - Homewood

Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML

agreeclassic 25 231

vote type 1 2 101

Avoidance

By Anonymous - 26/05/2023 22:00

Today, some of my relatives are staying over. My husband was late from work, so I rang him. Apparently, he remembers the family drama and the screaming matches from last time, so he’s checked himself into a hotel until my circus of an extended family are gone. FML

agreeclassic 329

vote type 1 1 252

By Clader - 10/12/2008 03:09 - France

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

agreeclassic 33 640

vote type 1 2 895

Next

TOP COMMENTS

JMarsD 420 3

Thursday 9 March 2023 23:50

You should do the same.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 8 March 2023 14:51

A woman who is more fun than you? Next question?

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 8 March 2023 14:51

A woman who is more fun than you? Next question?

JMarsD 420 3

Thursday 9 March 2023 23:50

You should do the same.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, after three months of hooking up and talking about dating, the man I was supporting emotionally went back to his ex, who'd reduced the restraining order on him to a no abuse order so they could be together. He left me in his bed to go be with her. FML

agreeclassic 1 020

vote type 1 601

Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML

agreeclassic 31 704

vote type 1 2 829

Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML

agreeclassic 10 927

vote type 1 51 039

Today, my boyfriend's mother introduced me as his "friend". We've been together for 10 years. FML

agreeclassic 31 780

vote type 1 3 286

Today, My friend and I were stopped at a red light while it was pouring rain. We heard a screeching noise off in the distance and thought, "Hope someone doesn't get hit." Someone did get hit. We did. From behind. FML

agreeclassic 52 349

vote type 1 3 525

Today, I saw my first boobs ever, at 18, volunteering at a retirement home. FML

agreeclassic 44 005

vote type 1 7 781