By Anonymous - United States - Columbia City Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML I agree, your life sucks 29355 You deserved it 9272 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jjcod - United Kingdom - London Today, freshly dumped and at a bar, I focussed my attention on trying to stand in such a way that I looked like an attractive, alluring, confident person. Apparently I forgot how to successfully stand upright and sprained my ankle. FML I agree, your life sucks 41191 You deserved it 10164 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, it's my birthday. I was excited because of all the wall posts I got on Facebook. Then I saw I got a "Happy Birthday" from the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with. FML I agree, your life sucks 36795 You deserved it 7421 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/2/2021 00:01 - South Africa - Johannesburg Grow a backbone time! Today, I had to stop going to university with 2 years left because my parents feel it's not the right course for me. I am 23 years-old, living with my parents, $2 to my name and no job. FML I agree, your life sucks 706 You deserved it 243 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HttpsHaileyy - United States Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML I agree, your life sucks 27707 You deserved it 9544 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Stupid - United States - Post Falls Today, after a few weeks of my friends pestering me to spend time with a mutual friend, I realized we had a lot in common. We both love shoes, peanut butter, and it appears that my boyfriend of three years is her boyfriend of four years. FML I agree, your life sucks 73974 You deserved it 5233 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Greece Today, I said to our pool-boy, "I know what you're doing, and you have to stop it." He started shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wanted to tell him to stop drinking my beers. FML I agree, your life sucks 62353 You deserved it 8775 286 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 22/7/2020 17:01 Mom knows shit Today, my mother-in-law decided my husband has COVID-19, read some debunked articles about how ibuprofen makes the symptoms worse, and scolded me for giving him ibuprofen for his muscle pain. I'm an actual medical doctor. FML I agree, your life sucks 1671 You deserved it 103 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By icecreamer - United States Today, I went over to get some ice cream. I found a rare parking spot in front of the store, and even had change in my pocket. After feeding the meter, A lady comes up to me and tells me that the meter was free after 8 o'clock. I paid 50 cents for it. I was 50 cents short for my ice cream. FML I agree, your life sucks 42939 You deserved it 12679 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lizzie1833 - United States Today, I was laying down in bed when my puppy decided to bite my ear. As I started laughing and pulling him off I noticed one of my $200 earrings got pulled off with it. And now I wait. FML I agree, your life sucks 32721 You deserved it 5504 143 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FuckedOver - United States - Houston Today, I found out my mom took around $2,500 from my savings account to pay off my sister's college tuition. She recently flunked out of her studies and won't be returning to college anyway. FML I agree, your life sucks 24716 You deserved it 1588 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HoratioNo - United States - Stockton Today, I found out that my dad writes really weird and scary slash fiction involving characters from all of the CSI TV show franchises. FML I agree, your life sucks 37054 You deserved it 3915 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Milo - Mexico - Mexico Today, one of my tires blew out on the highway. I managed to slow down and pull over without dying, and went to get my spare tire. I found it right where it was supposed to be, knifed to hell and with a taunting note from my psycho ex taped to it. We broke up nearly 3 years ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 31080 You deserved it 3277 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML I agree, your life sucks 40139 You deserved it 7491 220 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By let ‘Er rip The Sweet Smell of Success Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML I agree, your life sucks 1608 You deserved it 531 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rowie1311 - United Kingdom Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML I agree, your life sucks 48458 You deserved it 31011 384 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was given a DUI while in the Whataburger drive thru. FML I agree, your life sucks 12836 You deserved it 46131 350 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Rocky Mount Today, I had to sit through the wedding of my best friend and the love of my life, and pretend to be happy for them. FML I agree, your life sucks 16924 You deserved it 3340 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By IronMonkey - United States Useless tools Today, I work for a company that sells a leading brand of condoms. They give away free condoms to employees at the office. I haven't gotten laid since I began working here. FML I agree, your life sucks 46595 You deserved it 7003 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Springville Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML I agree, your life sucks 28583 You deserved it 2054 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By poormanslucyliu1 Today, I had to teach my 13-year-old sister that sugar and salt don't, "cancel each other out to make the taste neutral". FML I agree, your life sucks 9741 You deserved it 697 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML I agree, your life sucks 31703 You deserved it 2882 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I was told I don't qualify for disability benefits because I'm too young. I get this answer each time I apply, no matter how many lawyers and doctors I get. My mobility is so bad I've become wheelchair-bound and need assistance to bathe. How much worse do they want me to get? FML I agree, your life sucks 3432 You deserved it 165 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, at the rehearsal for my wedding, my mother told my bride's mother to fuck off. FML I agree, your life sucks 81268 You deserved it 4180 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Buffalo Today, I had to show my daughter where the USA is on a map. She's 17, and we live in the USA. FML I agree, your life sucks 47254 You deserved it 10882 186 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Terrance - United Kingdom - Basingstoke Today, I tried to point out to a chap in a van waiting at the lights that his tyre was flat, and that the rim had been spitting sparks all the way down the road. I was told in no uncertain terms, “Mind your own bleedin' business!” FML I agree, your life sucks 1445 You deserved it 136 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, it's my 18th birthday. Last month was my best friend's 18th birthday. She spent the night with me, and the next morning, my mom and brother gathered in my room and sang "Happy Birthday" as they handed her pancakes with a candle on top. Today, I was woken up by screams to take the trash out. FML I agree, your life sucks 35145 You deserved it 2586 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tishihish - United States Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML I agree, your life sucks 29861 You deserved it 2799 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AustrianCow - Austria - Linz Today, I wanted my boyfriend to meet my parents. My mum introduced herself as, "I'm Petra. I'm completely normal." FML I agree, your life sucks 19933 You deserved it 2063 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lady Today, I found out that my mother has been telling everyone that my fiancé and I are having a "shotgun wedding" because we plan to get married quickly. She didn't realize that means that the bride is pregnant, which I'm not. I have no idea what to do with the baby gifts I'm receiving. FML I agree, your life sucks 3359 You deserved it 214 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By omfgwhywhywhy - 22/3/2020 19:18 - United States Deliverude Today, I had to take a delivery to a known hoarder. I was braced for the sight of the house, but not the naked fat guy and the smell of dead cat when he answered the door. To top it off, they didn't even tip me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1634 You deserved it 113 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pvcnutcrackingdomqueen4u - United States - Monmouth Junction Today, I went on a blind date. People always joke about how horrible Axe is, but this guy sprayed it on so thick that I genuinely had to fight to not retch the entire time. It was so bad that at one point I thought I was going to pass out. FML I agree, your life sucks 23704 You deserved it 1860 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bob - United States - Fairborn Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away. FML I agree, your life sucks 38865 You deserved it 9335 226 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cutthroatkait - United States Today, I picked up an extra shift at the store. It was also the day the store's ventilation system shut down, resulting in carbon monoxide poisoning for me and two co-workers. FML I agree, your life sucks 42660 You deserved it 2994 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By empress gleskizor the third of glarkon - Hungary - Budapest Today, I was eating an onion bagel and bit down on something hard. At first I thought was a really hard piece of onion. The "onion" turned out to be a tooth, and it wasn't one of mine. FML I agree, your life sucks 23447 You deserved it 1296 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Xandriajoy10 - Australia Today, my 5 year-old informed me she likes her "other mummy" more and wants to live with her instead. I need to have a long conversation with my husband. FML I agree, your life sucks 31267 You deserved it 1913 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous They'll hear you coming Today, I was diagnosed with exercise-induced asthma. I wanted to be a cop. FML I agree, your life sucks 1620 You deserved it 152 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By the un-loved child - United States - Salida Today, my mom confessed to loving my "little sister" more than she loves me. My "little sister" is the family dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 53579 You deserved it 3953 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By angie24w Today, I had no choice but to use a porta potty. I was happy to get a clean one. I wasn't happy when a young child tried opening the door and used enough force to break the lock, showing me sitting on the toilet to the world. FML I agree, your life sucks 2717 You deserved it 169 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jack - France - Ajaccio Today, I invited the girl I like out for a meal. She replied, “Sorry, I already have plans”. I asked her what they were. “I don’t know yet, but I’ll think of something.” FML I agree, your life sucks 13963 You deserved it 2195 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, the water was shut off, so I had to wash down my anti convulsants, anti depressants and sleep aids with an old, flat, non-alcoholic beer from the night before. I don't think I've ever had a more mentally dysfunctional cocktail. FML I agree, your life sucks 3655 You deserved it 687 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cutycat136 | 28 #6225552 - Sunday 8 March 2015 16:31 Lesson #1: dogs have a great sense of smell. If you have it, they will find it. Don't hide it on you. Send a private message 155 7 Reply
By vikingchick | 22 #6225590 - Sunday 8 March 2015 16:59 Wow not many positive rated comments here. I'm sorry to hear that a dog ripped through your clothes. I hope you're doing alright. :) Send a private message 83 10 Reply
By brunettesara5722 | 17 #6225540 - Sunday 8 March 2015 16:28 Aww next time throw it & run if you have time Send a private message 11 35 Reply
Reply 150493x | 29 #6225599 - Sunday 8 March 2015 17:13 I doubt for OP that there will be a next time Send a private message 29 4 Reply
By SS99_fml | 20 #6225545 - Sunday 8 March 2015 16:30 Is that what they're callin it these days? Send a private message 14 30 Reply
Reply sureshadow | 23 #6226771 - Monday 9 March 2015 18:21 I thought this was funny Send a private message 3 1 Reply
By Sneado | 20 #6225547 - Sunday 8 March 2015 16:30 We win some, we lose some. Send a private message 3 24 Reply
Reply thecalvin123 | 21 #6225767 - Sunday 8 March 2015 20:36 What exactly did OP win? Send a private message 12 2 Reply
By kinky44 | 28 #6225548 - Sunday 8 March 2015 16:30 Must have been a Scooby snack, dogs will do some CRAZY stuff for those. Send a private message 27 14 Reply
By apineapple | 40 #6225550 - Sunday 8 March 2015 16:31 Every dog has its day. Send a private message 4 22 Reply
By iTzSelverZz | 14 #6225551 - Sunday 8 March 2015 16:31 Well, you cant hide any treats from that dog apparently. 2 20 Reply
Reply DarkPandaXD | 13 #6225648 - Sunday 8 March 2015 18:11 I'm pretty sure you can't hide treats from ANY dog seeing as they have a great sense of smell. Send a private message 16 1 Reply
Reply Stormcloak | 20 #6225863 - Sunday 8 March 2015 23:04 My dog can't find treats we lay out in front of her. Send a private message 4 2 Reply
By cutycat136 | 28 #6225552 - Sunday 8 March 2015 16:31 Lesson #1: dogs have a great sense of smell. If you have it, they will find it. Don't hide it on you. Send a private message 155 7 Reply
Reply Noelletakumi | 36 #6225651 - Sunday 8 March 2015 18:15 Reminds me of Gary and the cookie in Patrick's pants. Send a private message 25 2 Reply
Reply mischiefkel | 17 #6226325 - Monday 9 March 2015 9:02 Reminds me of American dad, when Barry sniffs out the ham in Steve's pants Send a private message 0 4 Reply
By WitEluded | 13 #6225556 - Sunday 8 March 2015 16:32 At least it only tore holes through your clothing... Send a private message 14 16 Reply
Reply WitEluded | 13 #6225579 - Sunday 8 March 2015 16:51 I guess the injuries were implied here... Oh well, can't win 'em all. Send a private message 30 4 Reply
By jamesderp | 15 #6225558 - Sunday 8 March 2015 16:32 Ruff day, eh? Send a private message 28 10 Reply
Today, my dad asked my mom to flash him. He didn't forget I was in the room, he just couldn't be bothered to wait. My mom obliged. FML I agree, your life sucks 362 You deserved it 45 3 Comments
Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, my husband was not in the mood for sex. He told me this while masturbating. FML I agree, your life sucks 602 You deserved it 72 8 Comments