Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I couldn’t tell that my puppy had an upset stomach before I left for work. I came home to her covered in shit inside her crate. After cleaning her up and almost being done with the mess, my husband found where she had tried to lick herself clean and then vomited it up in our bedroom. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML
Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML
Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML
Today, my dog wanted to go upstairs, but she has stitches and was having trouble. So I carried her to the top, at which point she peed all over my carpet. FML
Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML
Today, my dog has very watery diarrhea. I laid down paper towels to soak it up, and went to get sanitary wipes for the rest of it. When I came back, my dog had dragged the paper towels up onto the sand coloured loveseat. Sand coloured no longer. FML
Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML
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Top comments
flea_of_death 23
Why not let her outside? O.o
Keevarou 17
At least the shit did not hot the fan? Now to something less lame, you did what you could, and to try and cover the walls too would not be on everyone's mind. you just had a stroke of bad luck, and hey. Cleaning up the walls are probably better than the carpets, and easier
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Comments (116)
skyeyez9 25
The truth is you can't have nice things if you have dogs. Especially large dogs. Even if they are well behaved, they will occasionally get sick and have the runs or randomly barf on your carpet. My friends mastiff peed in my home and I was horrified: it was a man sized full bladder release!
alycion 39
Sid has an iron bladder. Every morning when I take him put its a 5 minute piss. One time when he was groggy from a day at the dog park, he got my shoes that were by the door when he didn't quote make it outside. There was no saving them. Fortunately that was the last accident he has had in the house. He was still a little thing when that happened.
Ksweety_fml 27
Lmao at the end though...
sanecatlady 13
People are always saying how smart dogs are and yet they can't be trained to use a toilet. I read that cats can be trained to use one.
Mifflicious 18
What ever makes you think a dog can't be trained to use a toilet? It's not about the training part. One problem is tha size and balance, it would be quite hard for a dog that's not papillon-size to be able to sit on the toilet bowl. Second, dogs usually don't have as good balance as cats, unless trained alot. And third, how would it even be possible for a male dog to pee in the toilet? Think before you write.
awilliams44 9
At least it wasn't on the carpet! Haha (:
stars_song 2
What ever happened to putting her outside??
caden_bro 9
OP may not live with a yard. They may not want to keep it outside for an extended period of time.
siggy_mcsigx 22
Poor thing was probably frightened to go on the sheets.
fml_fwp 9
Just get some febreeze and say you're painting the walls brown
awkotaco333 15
at least you still have your health OP
XBurytheCastleX 25
It might be easier to bundle up and walk around town with your sick dog. She will enjoy it, and you would only have to clean up the poop if it is chunky. Save your house...
Kateyez_26 13
That's kinda gross to stick your dog in the kitchen knowing it's got the *****. Probably would've been better to have him/her outside. Next time when its got an upset stomach give him/her pepto bismol tablet. Believe or not it works for them and it's safe for dogs.
Treveyon58 2
Did you every consider that OP may live in an apartment and can't let his dog outside.
Kateyez_26 13
No actually I didn't EVERY consider...I wasn't bashing op I was just saying In "my opinion" that I find it gross to put a dog in the kitchen that has the runs.