Animals: Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman....

By a man - 10/04/2011 19:32 - United States

Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 076

You deserved it 3 886

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By Mr.P - 21/10/2011 15:35 - United States

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 220

You deserved it 3 255

By PerfectTiming - 08/07/2013 11:19 - Netherlands - Eindhoven

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 888

You deserved it 4 687

By Drafty - 07/11/2012 21:30 - United States - Sylmar

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 426

You deserved it 7 612

By hadtocleanthemess - 28/06/2011 12:35 - Canada

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 879

You deserved it 4 198

By damn dog - 05/07/2013 05:43 - United States

Today, during a firework show, my dog gave me her opinion about them by practically eating half my bedroom door then defecating on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 683

You deserved it 7 841

By Stoopiddogbot - 12/02/2013 13:18 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 509

You deserved it 4 381

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 04:00

Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 92

Deep dish

By Grauncho - 22/09/2012 14:12 - United States - Chicago

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 721

You deserved it 3 606

By hoo flung pu - 03/10/2013 08:26 - United States

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 251

You deserved it 3 713

Where there's a will…

By Anonymous - 22/02/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, my little Pomeranian dog got onto the kitchen bench by jumping onto the washing basket, the bookcase, and over the window sill, and ate my daughter's birthday cake while I was in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 245

Doortje 29

Monday 11 April 2011 0:43

That's actually pretty awesome. Call it design/modern art and pretty soon all your neighbours want to borrow your dog.

xxGheTToGumbYxx 16

Monday 11 April 2011 0:38

Thats one big dog!

Comments

jess6blondie9 2

Monday 11 April 2011 1:26

Holy balls. Your dog is a giant!

Tuesdays76 0

Monday 11 April 2011 7:52

Holy balls as in God's Testicles?

jess6blondie9 2

Tuesday 12 April 2011 1:18

Yes.

SteelCladAngel 0

Monday 11 April 2011 1:34

mastiff, st Bernard, Irish wolfhound, great Dane...any of those dogs could be well over 150 pounds

SteelCladAngel 0

Monday 11 April 2011 1:35

mastiff, st Bernard, Irish wolfhound, great Dane...any of those dogs could be well over 150pounds

SteelCladAngel 0

Monday 11 April 2011 1:38

mastiff, st Bernard, Irish wolfhound, great Dane...any of those dogs could be well over 150 pounds

Barney_Rubble_75 0

Monday 11 April 2011 1:49

sounds like a Looney Tunes ep'.

AliciaicilA 0

Monday 11 April 2011 9:28

Loony Toons!!!1!!!!!!! :D That is all.

Barney_Rubble_75 0

Monday 11 April 2011 21:42

wow. that was a shocker spelling error of mine. my bad. :)

JenL_fml 7

Monday 11 April 2011 21:47

No, 38, you spelled it right.

SteelCladAngel 0

Monday 11 April 2011 2:00

urk, multiple posts >.<

SteelCladAngel 0

Monday 11 April 2011 2:05

urk, multiple posts >.<

PeteyPablo12308 20

Monday 11 April 2011 2:34

Well at least your dog is energetic! Lmfao.

mygreenhoodie 0

Monday 11 April 2011 2:36

"-Today"

yuggi1 11

Monday 11 April 2011 4:10

-Today is the day before Tomorrow and the day after Yesterday. You are welcome.

Tuesdays76 0

Monday 11 April 2011 7:10

LMFAO you made my day -today

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Monday 11 April 2011 7:19

Op is trying to cancel out the negative in her fml by using a double negative. :) As we can see, she was unsuccessful in this, for in reality the true negative fml would be a reciprocal, and thus written backwards. :D Understand?