Animals: Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman....

By a man - 10/04/2011 19:32 - United States

Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 076

You deserved it 3 886

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Mr.P - 21/10/2011 15:35 - United States

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 220

You deserved it 3 255

By PerfectTiming - 08/07/2013 11:19 - Netherlands - Eindhoven

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 888

You deserved it 4 687

By Drafty - 07/11/2012 21:30 - United States - Sylmar

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 426

You deserved it 7 611

By hadtocleanthemess - 28/06/2011 12:35 - Canada

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 878

You deserved it 4 198

By damn dog - 05/07/2013 05:43 - United States

Today, during a firework show, my dog gave me her opinion about them by practically eating half my bedroom door then defecating on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 683

You deserved it 7 841

By Stoopiddogbot - 12/02/2013 13:18 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 509

You deserved it 4 381

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 04:00

Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 92

Deep dish

By Grauncho - 22/09/2012 14:12 - United States - Chicago

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 721

You deserved it 3 606

By hoo flung pu - 03/10/2013 08:26 - United States

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 251

You deserved it 3 713

Where there's a will…

By Anonymous - 22/02/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, my little Pomeranian dog got onto the kitchen bench by jumping onto the washing basket, the bookcase, and over the window sill, and ate my daughter's birthday cake while I was in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 245

Doortje 29

Monday 11 April 2011 0:43

That's actually pretty awesome. Call it design/modern art and pretty soon all your neighbours want to borrow your dog.

xxGheTToGumbYxx 16

Monday 11 April 2011 0:38

Thats one big dog!

Comments

xxxxshanexxxx 0

Monday 11 April 2011 0:38

i hope u can fix that plaster

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Monday 11 April 2011 0:44

PUPPY POWERRRR! :D

scar97 0

Monday 11 April 2011 0:45

did anyone else think of the doritos superbowl commercial with the dog in the first sentence?

ILoveEggnog 7

Monday 11 April 2011 0:52

Yes. I immediately started laughing.

Shootamonkey3 0

Monday 11 April 2011 1:28

No, I thought of you getting bitch slapped by my dick.

Shootamonkey3 0

Monday 11 April 2011 1:46

^^^ You're a dirty girl :P

jess6blondie9 2

Monday 11 April 2011 1:50

It's a guy..

Shootamonkey3 0

Monday 11 April 2011 1:54

No shit but I still say dirty girl.

Want_ToBe_Normal 0

Monday 11 April 2011 2:06

Can you say "Animal Shelter"?

chuckychan 8

Monday 11 April 2011 2:22

time to get a doggy door?

GenocideTUH 0

Monday 11 April 2011 3:30

you mean he flew through the door like underdog not superman

BisFitty 7

Monday 11 April 2011 5:58

My question is, who the **** has a door made out of plaster?

xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11

Monday 11 April 2011 10:57

omg u found Krypto!!!!

johnnie99 0

Monday 11 April 2011 13:39

73- that's scrappy doo

skorpien 1

Monday 11 April 2011 16:57

105 - I'm guessing you missed the part where the dog slammed into the wall. Unless that was added after your post by the mods, in which case don't mind this post.

Sassybq1 13

Tuesday 12 April 2011 4:11

lol he says it in the show too silly

xxGheTToGumbYxx 16

Monday 11 April 2011 0:38

Thats one big dog!

iwubbtitties_fml 0

Monday 11 April 2011 4:33

Lol win ^

Autoshot 9

Monday 11 April 2011 4:51

(( ( -.-) o_(")(")

rawr9able 4

Monday 11 April 2011 14:59

...(/) ..(0.0) ((")(")/). Bunneh? o_O

musicofmylife 6

Wednesday 13 April 2011 4:35

that dosg bigger than me!!!

rends 0

Monday 11 April 2011 0:39

You have a cool dog.

kingtz 6

Monday 11 April 2011 2:01

Yeah, sounds like an awesome dog. I'd love to play wrestle a dog that big.

Poopolicious 5

Friday 19 August 2011 6:08

ya hoo

Doortje 29

Monday 11 April 2011 0:43

That's actually pretty awesome. Call it design/modern art and pretty soon all your neighbours want to borrow your dog.

illmatic2 16

Monday 11 April 2011 3:11

Yeah! And before you know it everybody will be throwing puppys through their walls....

FriskyTaco 0

Monday 11 April 2011 0:43

That sucks, get a pet turtle next time.

hannahgymnast 0

Monday 11 April 2011 9:03

I had a turtle once... we let it outside and it ran under our shed and died D:

holstarox 2

Monday 11 April 2011 9:21

How can a turtle run...?

HowlingFire 21

Tuesday 22 December 2015 21:39

Turtles can be pretty fast when they want to be.

Snowstar 0

Monday 11 April 2011 0:44

UNDERDOG!

Snowstar 0

Monday 11 April 2011 0:46

UNDERDOG!

jewels1877 0

Monday 11 April 2011 0:47

Sounds like a ruff landing..

humorizer 14

Monday 11 April 2011 1:04

I don't get it.

kingtz 6

Monday 11 April 2011 2:03

#28, no, I think they're just that stupid.

chuckychan 8

Monday 11 April 2011 7:51

wait who are we talking about?

hockeyrocks39 0

Monday 11 April 2011 8:32

hahaha.... nice

IBeDantastic 0

Monday 11 April 2011 15:44

Lol@ the 28 guy above me. I believe you going through that whole explanation would make you the dim one... saying "I don't get it" only implies that this girls " ruff landing" joke was horrid. Although im pretty sure that's how she meant it to be. DieInAFire >:I

ceddyz17 10

Monday 11 April 2011 18:57

ah haha that's silly

fookinprawn 3

Thursday 14 April 2011 2:49

hey #28 ..... I dnt get it...

A7X_LoVeee 10

Monday 11 April 2011 0:47

Is the dog okay?!

jess6blondie9 2

Monday 11 April 2011 2:01

No the dog died.

A7X_LoVeee 10

Monday 11 April 2011 3:10

GOOD ONE JESS! LOL JK.

Tuesdays76 0

Monday 11 April 2011 6:58

Ha that was the first thing I thought. I hope the dig is okay. If that happened with my dog I would worry about him first, then the wall. Of course my dog is only 65-70 lbs.