Cute and Kids: Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone...

By anon - 09/07/2011 04:48 - Australia

Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her it meant that they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 210

You deserved it 7 411

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 14:38 - United States - Seattle

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 387

You deserved it 4 439

By ulisha5 - 02/08/2013 21:54 - Bulgaria - Burgas

Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 589

You deserved it 4 357

By Anonymous - 28/01/2014 21:57 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 709

You deserved it 5 756

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 05:07 - New Zealand

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 803

You deserved it 12 122

By wjones - 15/12/2009 15:06 - United States

Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 516

You deserved it 33 763

By Anonymous - 20/08/2019 00:01

Today, my daughter asked me to join the Army so that she wouldn't have to see me anymore. She's four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 783

You deserved it 230

Love and hate

By bad mom? lol - 22/04/2022 06:00

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school. They found her on the roof, threatening to kill herself. I had to pretend to sound scared and sad over the phone, but in reality, the only emotion I could feel was extreme joy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 1 763

Misunderstanding

By Anonymous - 11/11/2019 03:00

Today, my boss sent me to remove a tree from a client's home. So I went and cut down the tree, only for my boss to show up an hour later, speechless. I was supposed to remove a sapling that had sprouted through the driveway tarmac, not the 100-year-old prizewinning Japanese cherry tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 361

You deserved it 3 454

RIP

By A girl - 27/06/2011 07:55 - Netherlands

Today, it has been 8 months since I started a photography project in which I would take a picture of the same tree every day for a year. I just heard a noise outside. They cut the tree down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 798

You deserved it 4 555

Kids say the funniest things

By embarrassedmom - 18/05/2009 01:19 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair whose leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?" He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 547

You deserved it 25 960

lol_ironic_life 9

Saturday 9 July 2011 12:06

Parent-"That poor tree has been in tree heaven for a while dear."

chrstygrl06 10

Saturday 9 July 2011 12:09

LEAVE THE TREE ALONE!!

Comments

bachmed 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 12:04

your daughter is a retarded 16 year old

someblackguy 3

Wednesday 20 July 2011 15:54

haha maybe she was just having a really awsome trip off of somthing

Koolgirl15 0

Friday 22 July 2011 18:21

.. Wtf... Slap her

RissaLynne 8

Tuesday 30 August 2011 3:41

Is she blonde?

newburton13 26

Tuesday 6 March 2012 14:33

Well, this is when it's time to send her to military school. Because all she needs to know there is who not to shoot at.

Cowgirl9999 8

Tuesday 29 May 2012 1:42

Don't have anymore kids :)

WorstLifeLiver19 0

Saturday 15 September 2012 5:49

How is this a FML?

alex2300 6

Tuesday 5 March 2013 1:04

These are getting lamer and lamer....FML.

Anumayis 34

Sunday 31 March 2013 16:03

probably on her period.. stuff like that happens then.

zomgbies 17

Thursday 8 August 2013 16:15

that kid is a special kind of stupid. and OP, be proud, you raised it

Keywords

Singing Miscellaneous Embarrassing Roommate Music TV shows Animals Dogs Relatable AITA Sports Weird Love Cheating Death Awkward Annoying Family Doctor Health Work Capitalism Money Drunk Concert Friends Coworkers Sextoys Intimacy Pranks

The Top

Today, my husband’s been dropping hints he wants to open our marriage. When I got home, a couple of his coworkers dropped by "for drinks". They tried to initiate group sex and figured I just needed to be talked into it. I was so mad, I couldn’t throw everyone out fast enough, including him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 979

You deserved it 174

Today, I was on a third date with a girl. Things had been going really well. At one point, the conversation lulled. After a moment of silence, she asked me what my greatest fantasy was. I told her that it was being a superhero. She told me that she meant sexual fantasy. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 724

You deserved it 67 809

The Top

Today, I found out my platonic office wife and I are both in sexless relationships. The week just gets more and more repressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 310

Today, I got my phone back after bringing it in to get a crack in the screen repaired. The crack is fixed, but now the touch screen doesn't work and it won't connect to the Internet. I essentially paid to have my phone broken even more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 350

You deserved it 1 855

Today, I got kicked out of university after missing/failing two exams on the same day, because I was told I could submit my family member's family emergency documents. Turns out, they didn't recognise it because of different last names. My parents never officially married, so couldn't prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 111

Today, I found out that I accidentally returned a customer her $147 check she had written out to pay for her groceries and receive cash back. The lady got free groceries and money, and I'm now losing my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 670

Today, my wife decided she wants to disregard our five-year plan to have kids, and is experimenting with the idea of having her tubes tied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 279

Today, a customer gave me the dirtiest look ever and muttered, "Goody two-shoes prick" after I asked if he'd like to donate a few cents to charity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 640

You deserved it 1 833

Same thing different taste

Love and hate

Misunderstanding

RIP

Kids say the funniest things

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