Her body, her choice

By Anonymous - 08/01/2022 08:01

Today, my wife decided she wants to disregard our five-year plan to have kids, and is experimenting with the idea of having her tubes tied. FML
I agree, your life sucks 892
You deserved it 233

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That five year plan - Was it your plan or was it something that you both decided on? Regardless of “the plan” though, sometimes people change their minds. Maybe wife has some good reasons to not want to have kids. Bear in mind that these years of the COVID pandemic have been unusual and stressful to say the least. I suggest having a non-confrontational heart to heart talk with her when you both feel up to the discussion. Find out how she feels about children and your future. Then once you understand her feelings and reasons on the subject, think long and carefully about the next step. I understand sometimes the desire to have children is a big deal to some people. Adoption is an option, but “mom” will still be stuck being a mom so that may not be a viable option in this case.

The Five-Year Plan? Who are you? Chairman Mao? Maybe she'd prefer a Cultural Revolution or a Long March Forward.

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The Five-Year Plan? Who are you? Chairman Mao? Maybe she'd prefer a Cultural Revolution or a Long March Forward.

That five year plan - Was it your plan or was it something that you both decided on? Regardless of “the plan” though, sometimes people change their minds. Maybe wife has some good reasons to not want to have kids. Bear in mind that these years of the COVID pandemic have been unusual and stressful to say the least. I suggest having a non-confrontational heart to heart talk with her when you both feel up to the discussion. Find out how she feels about children and your future. Then once you understand her feelings and reasons on the subject, think long and carefully about the next step. I understand sometimes the desire to have children is a big deal to some people. Adoption is an option, but “mom” will still be stuck being a mom so that may not be a viable option in this case.

Unfortunately relationships where one or both partners lie about or change their minds about kids are common. Basically you have three options. 1. Find a way to talk about it and work out a middle ground. 2. Live with her choice because you would rather have her than kids or 3. Divorce her and move on and find someone who shares your desire for kids. There’s risk in all three however, especially if she’s thinking twice about kids because she’s in doubt about your relationship. But if it’s a dealbreaker for you and she’s set on it, moving on now will be easier with you having more time to potentially find what you are looking for.