Geek: Today, my dad turned off our cable. The reason? His favorite...

By jfields2474 - 16/03/2015 04:37 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my dad turned off our cable. The reason? His favorite character from The Walking Dead died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 666

You deserved it 3 565

Geek

This Charming Man

Shot from both sides

Anyone there?

By Anonymous - 12/07/2011 01:12 - United States

Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 892

You deserved it 16 332

Quiet down!

By grooveshark - 30/09/2020 20:01

Today, I could hear my parents having sex from the other end of my house. My mom set the stove on fire because she forgot she was cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 101

By TractorUWG - 27/09/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I received a $100 bill in the mail as a late graduation present. I placed it on the table so I could go to the bathroom. I come back to find the table empty and my $100 bill missing. The fan blew the money on the floor and my 8 week old puppy ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 272

You deserved it 18 083

Cancel Student Debt

By Anonymous - 28/10/2019 16:00

Today, I paid $800.00 towards my student loans. That was the minimum payment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 834

You deserved it 394

By no cake for me - 07/11/2012 07:31 - United States - Jackson Heights

Today, my best friend told me that I wasn't invited to her wedding, saying that I was too pretty and that I would outshine her at the ceremony. I laughed and said that she was being ridiculous. She eventually confessed the real reason why I wasn't invited: apparently I'm an annoying bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 754

You deserved it 25 865

By p!$$3D0FF - 15/01/2009 02:02 - Australia

Today, I bought a pair of new speakers for my comp. I forgot I had installed various volume enhancing programs and also maxed out all sound settings. I connected the new speakers and played some music. The sound destroyed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 908

You deserved it 31 501

Get the hell out of Dodge

By Anonymous - 18/10/2020 20:02

Today, I realized I'm happier and life is better when my husband isn't around. He isn't abusive, just lazy and uninvolved. We have young kids and I don't know how to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 227

You deserved it 226

By InDisbelief - 12/04/2013 20:17 - United States - Racine

Today, my girlfriend's parents were out of town, so I stayed the night, hoping for some fun. Somehow, we started talking about conspiracy theories, and she spent the next half hour ranting at me about how Osama bin Laden is really still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 291

You deserved it 15 458

By Ouch - 06/03/2017 22:00 - United States - Amelia

Today, I found out that unlike in movies, you really don't know you're shot until you see the gunshot wound. Then, once the adrenaline wears off, it's complete agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 949

You deserved it 423

By Anonymous - 11/11/2015 12:18

Today, I woke up at 7, got to college by 7:40 to receive an email that my 8:00 a.m. class got cancelled. I stayed there until 12:00 p.m. for my second class, to then find out that the cancelled class was the one at 12:00, not 8:00. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 681

You deserved it 5 853

It's not what you think…

By sucks - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserts dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said, "How do you like that?" Then my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 888

You deserved it 158 713

By Anonymous - 17/02/2010 20:44 - United States

Today, I was in school and spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her I broke her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 357

You deserved it 37 765

By tuck87 - 18/07/2014 15:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had a customer write "fuck you" in the tip option area on his credit card slip, I have no idea why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 771

You deserved it 5 376

By Username - 08/01/2011 07:01 - United States

Today, I got to listen to my younger brother have sex with a girl while I sat in my room playing World of Warcraft on a Friday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 847

You deserved it 44 280

Meet the family

By annika - 06/09/2020 08:07 - Canada

Today, I finally took the courage to introduce my ginger boyfriend to my family. It didn't go too well. My dad asked if he could call him "Ron Weasley" and my 13-year-old brother asked if he had a soul. Now I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 203

By Username - 04/08/2011 09:15 - United States

Today, my twit of a husband admitted to falling for an internet scam involving a dead foreign politician, the promise of a share in millions of dollars currently stuck in a bank, and him having wired a large amount of our money to "bribe an official". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 665

You deserved it 4 884

By wowsucks - 30/01/2010 09:40 - United States

Today, I realized that the only reason my boyfriend has been coming over to hang out at my house for the past two months is because my little brother has an N64. I have become a third wheel to their mario kart dates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 776

You deserved it 4 107

By Quortney - 22/07/2015 04:20 - United States

Today, I was working at the local grocery store and a customer of mine, who had only bought two granola bars and was holding up my line, tried to convert me to Christianity. Out of all the people to target, she chose the shy atheist who just wanted to do her minimum wage job in peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 540

You deserved it 3 051

By Zack - 01/04/2012 21:36 - United States - Duncannon

Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 713

You deserved it 26 409

By LocallyBrewed - 27/02/2015 04:11 - United States

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 686

You deserved it 2 677

By Slowsky - 09/05/2012 10:19 - United States - Claremont

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 496

You deserved it 5 548

By fuckbio - 12/12/2009 05:00 - United States

Today, after pulling an all-nighter for my Bio final at 8AM and drinking 6 sodas, 3 energy drinks, and coffee throughout the night, an hour into the exam, I had to go to the restroom, so I get permission and go. I'm 1 of 3 people. They later find a cheat sheet in the restroom. Now I'm a suspect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 944

You deserved it 4 334

By LizLiao - 14/04/2009 07:50 - United States

Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 782

You deserved it 7 752

By Karmaisabitch - 18/05/2012 06:07 - United States - Boulder

Today, I wanted to prank my roommate. So, I thought it would be funny to take all the toilet paper out of our bathroom. She thought it would be funny to wipe with my cashmere sweater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 249

You deserved it 53 145

Mysterious girl

By Anonymous - 31/10/2021 11:00

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. It was our anniversary just 3 nights ago, and she said she was sorry for leading me on. She still hasn’t told me why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 65

By Thanks a lot - 23/10/2015 01:27 - United States - Chestnut Hill

Today, I babysat for my neighbor's brat kid. The mom gave me $15 for 5 hours. I complained to my mom when I got home because last time I got $15/hour. Turns out my mom had told my neighbor that she thought they'd paid me too much last time. Thanks mom. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 221

You deserved it 2 001

By neveragain - 16/03/2012 05:11 - Canada

Today, I gave in and let my friend give me a makeover. She couldn't find my eyelash curler, but decided that if she used scissors lightly, it would work just the same. Needless to say, it did not work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 451

You deserved it 30 815

Attraction

By Anonymous - 26/07/2021 11:01

Today, I realized I'm extremely sexually attracted to my physical therapist. It doesn't help that treatment involves me spending the entire appointment naked from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 129

By sashimi9999 - 07/02/2014 01:32 - United States - Salinas

Today, while cleaning a carpet in my house, something in it sliced my foot. I couldn't find what it was, so I went to clean the wound. 10 minutes later, I sliced my foot again on the same thing. I still can't figure out what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 187

You deserved it 5 865

By Merdoc - 03/02/2009 17:22 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's guinea pig managed to go down her shirt. I have been dating her for 3 weeks and I haven't even kissed her yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 290

You deserved it 44 567

Stuck on amber

By Anonymous - 01/10/2020 07:58 - United States - Greensburg

Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 170

By Anonymous - 22/02/2014 21:02 - United States - Antelope

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 696

You deserved it 4 329

By MyDeliveriesCanWait - 24/08/2019 02:07

Today, I received the bubble wrap that I'd ordered. When I opened the box, almost every single bubble had been popped. At the bottom of the box, there was a sticky note that said, "Sorry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 798

You deserved it 126

By SK8WITME - 12/02/2016 18:22 - India

Today, a short guy asked me how the world looked "up there", as I'm really tall. I decided to lift him up so he could see for himself. I failed both times I tried, to the great amusement of everyone watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 080

You deserved it 6 736

My way or the highway

By FeckedUpFifteen - 14/10/2021 20:00

Today, it’s my birthday. My family tradition is that whoever has the birthday chooses the dinner. I chose pizza, but my older sister had a tantrum, complete with throwing my phone at the wall, breaking it, saying she wanted Chinese instead. My parents ordered Chinese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 701

You deserved it 62

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 19:36 - United Kingdom - Aylesbury

Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 418

You deserved it 23 003

By Anonymous - 01/04/2018 05:00

Today I went in for an STD test. The Q-tip broke off in my urethra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 395

You deserved it 413

By MadSon - 11/10/2009 02:59 - United States

Today, my dad had something to tell me. He'd cleaned out my bank account to pay off 38,000 dollars worth of gambling debt. My wedding is in 5 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 928

You deserved it 4 088

By loon - 28/10/2008 11:13 - France

Today, the girl I'm secretly in love with, whom I was talking to on MSN, told me she'd "brb in 10, no wait 20, oh make that 30 min" depending on her boyfriend's stamina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 709

You deserved it 9 721

By Anonymous - 18/06/2013 22:48 - United States - South Salem

Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 706

You deserved it 5 825

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Top comments

dontlookman 20

Monday 16 March 2015 16:51

Tell your dad he'll meet his favorite character soon enough if he doesn't turn it back on.

Eliseopwns 22

Monday 16 March 2015 16:50

Denial is a preliminary stage of grief, my friend. Hang tight for the long ride.

Eliseopwns 22

Monday 16 March 2015 16:50

Denial is a preliminary stage of grief, my friend. Hang tight for the long ride.

Polynomial 28

Send a private message

Monday 16 March 2015 18:18

Oh noa, not the preliminary step, the first step.

ECHOSPiiKES 19

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Monday 16 March 2015 19:53

#RipNoah

shessohighh 10

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Monday 16 March 2015 22:07

I can't believe Noah was his favorite character! He was a cool guy, but he wasn't even on the show that long.

Luna_Soleil 11

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Tuesday 17 March 2015 1:42

Maybe he watches Everybody Hates Chris

Luna_Soleil 11

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Tuesday 17 March 2015 1:44

That was a reply to 113

walkintotheclub 6

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Tuesday 17 March 2015 4:30

If it was Glenn or Darryl that died then this would not be an FML. Sorry, OP guess you have to go to a friends house to see the season finale.

hard_candy 25

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Tuesday 17 March 2015 15:33

everybody ate chris.

Countryboy1996 18

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Wednesday 18 March 2015 8:46

Denial is not a preliminary stage of grief. It's the first of the five stages of grief.

ChocolateScyther 19

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Wednesday 26 October 2016 23:18

the ride started again with Glenn

UndyingKarma 19

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Monday 16 March 2015 16:50

fyl, no one deserves to lose access to cable over something that petty :p

wildgenius 13

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Monday 16 March 2015 17:00

You could have just pressed the button, friend.

thesmeagol 22

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Monday 16 March 2015 19:04

Hes not your friend, buddy.

False_Stupidity 41

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Monday 16 March 2015 19:12

He's not your buddy, mate.

ItsAlly 20

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Monday 16 March 2015 19:28

He's not your mate, fella.

TheBestTaco 3

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Monday 16 March 2015 19:29

He's not your fella, friend.

Generic_Toaster 21

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Monday 16 March 2015 19:42

he's not your friend friend, guy.

MehNameIsJuan 15

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Monday 16 March 2015 20:16

70, You ruined it :P

bdecker109 11

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Monday 16 March 2015 20:18

hes not a guy, dog.

hotheadslav 17

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Monday 16 March 2015 22:05

He's not a dog, animal!

MaT30123 19

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Monday 16 March 2015 22:39

Crusty poop! Officially ruined!

younghaiti34 2

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Tuesday 17 March 2015 0:48

your obviously not a walking dead fan

dontlookman 20

Monday 16 March 2015 16:51

Tell your dad he'll meet his favorite character soon enough if he doesn't turn it back on.

jenjen2633 17

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Tuesday 17 March 2015 6:58

0-100 real quick

StaazMon 9

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Wednesday 18 March 2015 6:37

that profile picture+that comment=gold

Adamfuzzyballs 7

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Monday 16 March 2015 16:52

The Walking Dead does that to you...

airforce987 20

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Monday 16 March 2015 17:36

I wouldn't turn him on to Game of Thrones if I were him then

colby6666 42

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Monday 16 March 2015 19:02

RIP Noah

coolster5000 22

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Monday 16 March 2015 19:49

SPOILER SOME PEOPLE HAVENT WATCHED IT YET STFU

Adeptus_Astartes 22

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Monday 16 March 2015 19:50

@59 Spoiler Alert! Some one remove his comment before people start killing puppies!

syed121417 22

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Monday 16 March 2015 20:19

NOAH DIES!???? Dammit this is why you can't just say what happens

Noah197099 17

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Monday 16 March 2015 21:34

What do you mean? I'm right here.

extrasnipes 22

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Monday 16 March 2015 21:57

Oh don't introduce him to doctor who or you'll never watch tv again

redstone7693 29

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Monday 16 March 2015 23:19

RIP Noah and Aiden

vivaellefashion 14

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Tuesday 17 March 2015 3:20

I haven't seen the fifth season. I had to look up who Noah was.

Indiantrolledd 16

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Wednesday 18 March 2015 4:41

ALL OF YOU PEOPLE SUCK! I TRYED SO HARD TO AVOID SPOILERS, AND YOU GUYS FUCKED IT FOR ME. YOU GUYS OWE ME 1 HOUR OF DVR SPACE.

gonnawhupu 13

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Monday 16 March 2015 16:52

I too turn of my cable when someone died in a tv show

pete9913 23

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Monday 16 March 2015 16:52

If Darryl dies we riot.

mrmcleod 29

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Monday 16 March 2015 17:44

If Daryl dies, so do I. Your move Hollywood.

kct101 18

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Monday 16 March 2015 17:48

your probably just going to cry and get pissed. if you riot the show may end

Silverfeathery 21

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Monday 16 March 2015 22:23

If Daryl dies, its WWIII.

Shamandalie89 32

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Monday 16 March 2015 22:24

You spelled Rick wrong.

phreaker913 21

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Monday 16 March 2015 23:27

#6 AGREED!

condor216 15

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Tuesday 17 March 2015 3:41

I hate to say this, but if they kill anyone else off Daryl would probably be one of them. They have a reason to, after all. He wasn't original to the comics.

ihartmytdi 23

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Monday 16 March 2015 16:52

*spoiler alert* I don't blame him - Noah was one of my favs too. "Everybody ate Chris"

vikky538 28

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Monday 16 March 2015 17:00

damn ...you ruined it.. I yet to watch that episode..

tiredteenager 16

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Monday 16 March 2015 17:04

#17, he said spoiler alert...

r_u_siri 9

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Monday 16 March 2015 17:21

??????

r_u_siri 9

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Monday 16 March 2015 17:22

at least he's with Beth now

vikky538 28

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Monday 16 March 2015 17:23

#19 but its the main comment.. wouldn't have a chance to skip it...

xcllla_ 26

Monday 16 March 2015 17:39

So that was Noah? Who cares.

ImBored15 21

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Monday 16 March 2015 17:53

I find it funny that the character that had the same name as me died on my birthday XD

Dlzq 22

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Monday 16 March 2015 18:16

What day in The Walking Dead would you specify as your birthday? They don't tell us what specific day he died.

iAmPaul 49

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Monday 16 March 2015 18:20

51 - He clearly means his birthday was yesterday (the day the episode aired). Check his profile, it even shows that his birthday was yesterday.

AndrewMoreira14 19

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Monday 16 March 2015 16:53

If he can't handle the pain now, I'm scared to know how he will take it in the season finale..

bab3ruthl3ss 16

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Monday 16 March 2015 17:25

Or when the show catches up to issue #100...

nicfo 22

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Monday 16 March 2015 16:56

he's kinda like me. i burnt a bible because my favourite character died. twice.

karwank 13

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Tuesday 17 March 2015 0:32

What supernatural episode was it?

nodai 13

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Tuesday 17 March 2015 13:32

The best way to take out your anger is to burn a bible? Try meditating my friend.

IndicaPaincakes 28

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Tuesday 17 March 2015 19:45

Or Game of Thrones?

ifuckuprandomly 28

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Sunday 11 September 2016 17:27

Guys, he was joking that Jesus was his favourite character in the Bible and when he died he burned it. To carry on with the joke he probably bought another, read further, saw Jesus came back and died again and burned yet another bible.