By Howdoiwatchpoliticsnow - 29/05/2016 20:06 - United States - Newton

Today, I tried to get my son off of the couch by turning off the wifi. Afterward, I went to watch tv. Turns out he got me back by turning off the cable. FML
I agree, your life sucks 10 942
You deserved it 6 531

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Sorry OP, YDI. If all you did was shut off the Wi-Fi then you're a bit of a dick. If there's nothing better to be doing (like if they're not neglecting chores) then shutting off the Wi-Fi is just being controlling. My dad used to shut off the Internet if he thought I was spending too much time online, but the only other alternative available was TV. He would even shut it off after dinner to force me and my brother to watch TV with him even though we weren't allowed to talk at all during the shows and he would go outside to smoke during commercials. It was controlling for the sake of controlling. Shutting off one screen for another is pointless. There are many things to do online that encompass a bunch of other offline activities, such as reading news articles, watching movies, learning how to do stuff, connecting with friends, reading books, listening to music, doing homework, playing games... It sounds like if OP's kid was doing these things offline, such as in their room with a Cd player, magazines, books, game consoles, and a cellphone, they'd be happy that their kid was doing so much, but because it's being accessed with a computer, you assume that nothing else is going on and that they're only doing one thing. My question is what did you want them to do once the Internet was off? If the answer is just a general "anything but the computer", then you have a lot to learn about the things that are available to do online. If you have a problem with Internet use but are happy to sit as an inactive participant in front of the TV, then YDI.

Setting a good example is a much better start than forcing your child to do something that you don't even do yourself. Maybe you should try planning activities that will get you both of the couch, and everyone can enjoy it willingly.

Comments

pleasedie 22

Surely it's more efficient ways to getting him off of the couch. How about going out and spending some quality time with him ?

Setting a good example is a much better start than forcing your child to do something that you don't even do yourself. Maybe you should try planning activities that will get you both of the couch, and everyone can enjoy it willingly.

ohthebloodygore 16

Feels a bit rude to assume the OP doesn't try. What if (s)he plans loads of activities but the child is just a brat who refuses to do anything that doesn't involve the internet?

I never said that they don't try. Most teenagers aren't brats who refuse to do anything that doesn't involve the Internet, but they stay on it all day because they have nothing better to do and it's a form of entertainment, similar to watching Tv or movies, both of which you can do on the Internet. I was simply offering an idea for OP, because based off what they said and other posts on Social Media, there is no reason to assume he tried to take his kid camping or have a game night.

Even if he had tried, I'm sure there are things the teenager would like to try that would get him off the couch willingly. Turning off the WIFI does nothing but pushes the kid away, and that accomplishes nothing. Clearly.

ohthebloodygore 16

Someone's a bit optimistic. I know plenty of teens who refuse to do anything that doesn't involve the Internet. Not because they're bored or there isn't else to do, because they genuinely don't want to do anything else. There is no reason to assume (s)he DIDN'T try to take his/her kid camping or schedule a game night. Coming from a person who has tried to get teens to do something beside play video games and watch telly.

A mother who consistently threatened to take away my things and establish 'rules' is why my adult self has psychological difficulties with letting others handle anything I own, people behind my back, etc. Being overly strict just leads to further issues down the road.

Yeah, don't take away or lock up anything. Didn't get me and my parents anywhere. They stopped doing that, started communicating more and it got better.

I think this really depends on why the internet was taken away. Like say OP's son has been using it to game on the tv, hasn't done his homework or chores, won't share the tv, plays so much that he lacks sleep, etc...And say OP has talked to him and asked him to do other stuff, and warned him that the internet would be taken away if he didn't. In that case, I think this situation would be reasonable because: a) the rule was clearly defined and had a logical reason (ie: no games till your responsibilities are address/learn to share/learn moderation/etc...) b) OP tried talking to the son about the problem first, and the son was warned about what would happen if he chose to disobey (ie: internet access taken away) c) the punishment was reasonable and fit the situation And if, in that case, OP had finished HIS work for the day, then I see no problem in him using the tv because the message was not "technology=bad" but "responsibilities first, play second." For example, after school I'd read books. After a while though, my mom would ask me to put away the book and get my homework done. If I got it done, I could read again afterwards. But if I ignored her and tried to secretly keep reading, she'd take away my book till my work was done. During that time, I didn't expect my mother to abstain from reading in order to "lead by example," because I understood the message was not "don't read" but "balance your hobbies with your responsibilities." That being said, if OP is the type to think internet itself is bad (but has no problems with tv), then yeah, I think he is being silly. Or if the son was never verbally warned to stop and told of the corresponding punishment, but OP just passive-aggressively turned off the internet without first trying to talk to him like a reasonable human being, then I think that's really unfair. Or if the OP has control issues and was making really unreasonable rules, or wanted the son to do other things (ie: go outside) that he himself never does, etc...then of course I'd disagree with his actions. TL;DR My point is that we don't really know the situation. We know he wanted the son to get off the couch, but we don't know WHY he wanted that. Did the son have destructive habits and he'd already tried to intervene in other ways, or is OP just the type who thinks "tech is ruining kids these days" without actually bothering to find out what they're doing and why? Etc...

Sorry OP, YDI. If all you did was shut off the Wi-Fi then you're a bit of a dick. If there's nothing better to be doing (like if they're not neglecting chores) then shutting off the Wi-Fi is just being controlling. My dad used to shut off the Internet if he thought I was spending too much time online, but the only other alternative available was TV. He would even shut it off after dinner to force me and my brother to watch TV with him even though we weren't allowed to talk at all during the shows and he would go outside to smoke during commercials. It was controlling for the sake of controlling. Shutting off one screen for another is pointless. There are many things to do online that encompass a bunch of other offline activities, such as reading news articles, watching movies, learning how to do stuff, connecting with friends, reading books, listening to music, doing homework, playing games... It sounds like if OP's kid was doing these things offline, such as in their room with a Cd player, magazines, books, game consoles, and a cellphone, they'd be happy that their kid was doing so much, but because it's being accessed with a computer, you assume that nothing else is going on and that they're only doing one thing. My question is what did you want them to do once the Internet was off? If the answer is just a general "anything but the computer", then you have a lot to learn about the things that are available to do online. If you have a problem with Internet use but are happy to sit as an inactive participant in front of the TV, then YDI.

ohthebloodygore 16

You're my favourite type of person.

Someone finally worded it just right. Thank you.

I can see where you're coming from but I can also see where the parent is coming from. My uncle used to have to do this with my cousin because she would sit at the computer for hours without taking a break, and I don't mean just a couple hours, like from noon until like 10or 12 at night, which is extremely unhealthy. if it was a situation like this then I can understand where OP is coming from.

It's not unhealthy, You do realize that as long as you are being healthy for example like eating and taking a quick jog it can be fine. I am a video editor and I spend plenty of hours a day editing so him doing that isn't that bad

I think if it was similar to your situation, it’d be an obvious YDI…But at the same time, I feel like we don’t have the whole situation. He says his son was on the couch…so it seems more likely he was using the internet for either Netflix or online gaming (not just for listening to music or reading articles or wtv). Plus, just because OP was watching tv, doesn’t mean he wanted the son to watch with him. He might have wanted him to get homework done, do chores, go outside for a bit, spend time with friends, etc… I know my bro used to have a bit of a WOWing problem…he’d neglect EVERYTHING (even showering). At first my parents gave him warnings, but after catching him secretly playing instead of writing overdue essays (as he claimed), they ended up taking his access away until he could prove he was maintaining a more balanced lifestyle. Seems like pretty standard discipline to me… There are so many people blasting OP, but I just have this totally different perspective. I grew up with family members who tended to neglect responsibilities a bit in favor of online games/shows/reading. So it was never my parents thinking “screens are bad, internet is bad and unhealthy, watch tv instead, I want to control everything you do,” but simply that they wanted to teach us to balance our hobbies with other aspects of our life. Anyways, I get that we don’t have all the info so it could just be that OP has control issues. I also acknowledge that you did briefly mention “if there’s nothing better to do…” But I just wanted to put out another possible perspective, where OP’s actions might not have been as condemnable.

tounces7 27

I honestly think this FML was just misunderstood. Pretty sure OP just wanted the couch for themselves is all.

God it's the FML comment section not your English Final

Classic SJW response! I think I agree with this dad, and yours.

Don't understand your logic "oh my sons on the couch (doing something) lets get him off by turning the wifi, while I'm at it I might watch some tv" it might make sense if you don't have time to do things and that's all your son does but seriously don't take something from someone than do it later.

Why are people defending the child? A child is a child, you do what your parents say because its their house and rules. If they don't want you to watch the tv or use the wifi then they don't have to because they're the ones paying for it and you're not. I am very much sure the OP had valid reasons to why he turned it off. When I was in high school and living with my mother...she turns off the wifi when shes not being respected in her own house. Adults these days letting kids get away with things and not learn from them is ridiculous. They have no respect and believe they're on the same level as their parents or above. You shouldn't be a friend to your child, you should be parent to them because thats what they need. Ive seen so many kids on my job disrespecting their parents, destroying property and they don't do anything about it.

Uh, no. Parents are not gods that kids have to obey the every whim of. They are raising children who will become adults who will have to make their own choices. Instead of passive-aggressively turning off the WiFi, OP could have: organized a family outing, modeled better behavior from the get-go, encouraged taking a walk, reading, or, by setting an even better example, turned off the cable his/herself and declared they were going electronics free today. That's parenting.

Why are people defending the parent? An adult is an adult, you do things for your kids because you need to set an example. If you don't want your kids to watch the TV or use the WiFi, then you shouldn't either. I am very much sure the kid had valid reasons to why he turned it off. When I teach my class, the students do things I don't like when they're not being respected in their classroom. Kids these days putting up with bullshit from adults is ridiculous. They have no respect and believe they're on the same level as their kids or above. You shouldn't treat your parents like a friend, you should antagonize them like an obnoxious bratty kid because that's what they need. I've seen so many parents disrespecting their kids, and they don't do anything about it.

They're defending the child because parents can be in the WRONG TOO. And it seems here that the OP was being passive aggressive, and hypocritical, which IS NOT an acceptable way to teach a lesson, you want your kid to respect and learn from you, LEAD BY EXAMPLE. A child does not always have to do everything their parents say, parents aren't infallible and they can be wrong. Saying a child has to do everything an authority says can lead to abuse and stifles free thinking, children are individuals TOO. The "my house, my rules. I pay so you do as I say," is just controlling and manipulative. It shows that the parent has no better way to get their kid to comply, other than using fear tactics and holding their financial care for them over the kid's head, which by the way is the parent's ******* JOB. A parent has to earn respect from their child just like any other person. Respect is earned, not just given, and you earn respect by being respectful yourself. I'm probably consider one of the "kids these days," and you know what, you're right. I've always thought I was on the same level as my parents, sorry that I know my own self worth and that I'm human, just like my parents, I'm am not inferior. I will not be treated like a doormat just because I'm younger than my parents and they brought me into this world, that was their choice, not mine, so now they better treat me like the person I am. I'm an individual, just like they are, and my voice is just as important as theirs. And the thing is, my parents weren't my friend, they were my parents, they used authority when they needed to, but they didn't abuse it. If they felt something was wrong, they sat down and TALKED to me, instead of doing stuff behind my back to force me to do what they want. That's being a parent, not being a passive aggressive dick.

Nissi 17

I agree with you completely. Unfortunately it's an unpopular way of thinking. The youths of today are entitled and don't like to respect authority figures in their lives. It's interesting that most of the comments defending the parent and implying there is more to the story are thumbed down. My suspicion is it's being done by said entitled individuals.

If you want respect you have to earn it. And the comments being downvoted are either insulting a whole generation(like you) or acting like the kid should follow whatever a parent says whether it's justified or not. Notice in other above comments someone giving the chance of the child neglecting things and already having been warned is up voted. There are reasons this could be justified, but the FML seems like the parent just wanted them to get off the computer to do something else when they want to laze about and do what they want in a similar manner.

If you want respect you have to earn it. And the comments being downvoted are either insulting a whole generation(like you) or acting like the kid should follow whatever a parent says whether it's justified or not. Notice in other above comments someone giving the chance of the child neglecting things and already having been warned is up voted. There are reasons this could be justified, but the FML seems like the parent just wanted them to get off the computer to do something else when they want to laze about and do what they want in a similar manner.

If you want respect you have to earn it. And the comments being downvoted are either insulting a whole generation(like you) or acting like the kid should follow whatever a parent says whether it's justified or not. Notice in other above comments someone giving the chance of the child neglecting things and already having been warned is up voted. There are reasons this could be justified, but the FML seems like the parent just wanted them to get off the computer to do something else when they want to laze about and do what they want in a similar manner.

You need to hold yourself to the same standards you hold your kids, if not higher. Anything less is being a hypocrite.

You seem a tad hypocritical here. You're trying to get your child off the couch but then your proceed to sit on it. Perhaps try spending time with your son instead of getting him to stop doing something that you do right after.