Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, my mom tried to burn my arm with a hot spatula, all because I got a tattoo against her wishes. FML
Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML
Today, I was sitting on a stool by the stove while my dad was making stir-fry. The glass lid he had covering the skillet overheated and exploded. As huge shards of broken glass rained down on his only daughter's head, my dad's only concern was whether or not he would have to throw his food away. FML
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
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Top comments
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Bad hair day?
LifeSucksbtw 0
hahaha
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Comments (121)
Yousuck24 21
Should of burnt his nuts.
SpilltMilk2 0
This FML is on fiyah .
xoCOURTNIEox 0
burnt hair is the worst smell ever !!
SeaChicken 0
burnt flies beat burnt hair in my book.
DropDead77 11
I'd go with burnt skin xP
xoCOURTNIEox 0
25- I have that exact same hooters shirt :)
eilonwylovegood 8
I hate the smell of burning eyeliner pencil shavings (my mum always put them in the astray)
eprieto 0
14. your so hot
techweed 12
I disagree, the worst smell ever is that of a burnt thundercunt
Tcaret300 12
^ I read that fml! :D
staceysgenesis16 0
eww!! .. i kno rite?? its bloody gross .. ugh.
teeheelicious 2
because you're totally stupid enough to believe that... smh
Southerndatageek 2
Where did the OP say he/she believed the dad?
Thanatos1206 0
It was sarcasm, you ravenous fox.
thedisturbedone5 0
i never heard that used before but thanks for the new phrase im gonna use it all day now
PeteyPablo12308 20
Well at least you won't need a haircut anytime soon.
diabian 9
Michael Jackson?
Thanatos1206 0
You probably just held in a fart for too long.
Hetalia_loves_me 1
19 - Bahaha!!!
chammi 0
I wonder how this happened. Maybe you should keep your dad away from stoves.
tr0llz0r 0
Maybe we can all state the obvious and feel a little better about ourselves.
t3hpwnz4rz 4
Good idea. I am on the Internet, an this I a website. I feel so happy to be alive now thank you.
chammi 0
61, get a life.
hanhen 0
or maybe dad should stay out of kitchen or at least stay away from fire
DropBearHunter 8
I think a spoonful of concrete is in order. Man up and walk it off sunshine, my hair spontaneously combusts everytime i yell flame on, don't see me on fml about it.
littlemisschat 0
your dad sounds like a right pr***