Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, my mom tried to burn my arm with a hot spatula, all because I got a tattoo against her wishes. FML
Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML
Today, I was sitting on a stool by the stove while my dad was making stir-fry. The glass lid he had covering the skillet overheated and exploded. As huge shards of broken glass rained down on his only daughter's head, my dad's only concern was whether or not he would have to throw his food away. FML
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
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Top comments
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Bad hair day?
LifeSucksbtw 0
hahaha
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Comments (121)
underpaid011 0
sounds like another failed Pepsi commercial.
Iknoweverything 29
WHY IS YOUR HAIR WHERE YOUR DAD IS COOKING? If you're retarded to be anywhere near where you can be burned, then you can't blame your dad for saying it's spontaneous combustion. There is ALWAYS a chance to be burned when you are between the stove and the sink!
Pinkanani 12
The only logical conclusion I came up with is: Your hair was too long (and you looked like a girl), your dad asked you to cut it, and you refused. So what did he do? He made sure you would have to cut it! He did it for your own good. He probably just didn't want his son to look like his daughter. YDI if you didn't listen to your dad the first time he asked you to cut it! Before anyone else tries to argue with me, only a parent would know what I'm saying. And besides, "my house, my rules" applies here for the dad.
Ren_Baby 0
I'm sorry, but that's awesome. That sounds like my dad. I can hear it now, "I swear it just went FWOOSH and it was gone. It was crazy!"
Consequences 0
he sounds awesome. that's pretty clever.
patjcarroll 0
lol that's hilarious
cyanidesandwich 21
southpark all the way
tswiftbaby 15
a guy in a kitchen?! omg call fox news
twiztidangel 0
Lol :)
jjfml55555 0
did u **** him up?!