Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad got mad at me because after he told me that when I'm not going anywhere to stop putting on perfume, I told him I wasn't wearing any. I took a shower this morning, my hair is still wet. When I tried to explain this, he got pissed and said that I just needed to accept when he told me I was wrong and shit. FML
Today, my five-year-old son told me that I smell bad and asked me to take a shower so I wouldn't attract bugs into the house. I had just showered. FML
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, my dad told me to knock it off with my "stupid gangster walk", saying it made me look like an idiot. I didn't have the balls to admit I'd sharted my pants and was awkwardly waddling to the bathroom to clean myself up. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
Today, it was my mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room, only to see my dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain, I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now my dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML
Today, my dad invited our very cute neighbor inside to introduce him to me. I was wearing pajamas and hadn't showered in two days due to being extremely sick. FML
Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML
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Top comments
CaptainCola 7
Just be like "it's your breath, stop talking and maybe it will stop smelling so bad around here..ooohhh burn!!" Eh I got nothing...
luismyl 6
Hey he is being honest
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Comments (47)
I_Punch_Babies 7
well if you shower before dancing with him next time he may be willing to go all the way (assuming yall are from arkansas or some weird ass state like that)
GoW_Chick 15
At least he finished dancing with you first, that's sweet, now go take a shower, and don't forget to wash behind those ears kiddo.
GoW_Chick 15
Edit: I read over the FML and it seems he didn't finish dancing with OP, well at least he was even going to in the first place, some of us aren't so lucky dad wise.
xbella 8
be glad it was him that told you, not some random person at the club
sparkrok 8
club? notice it said waltz, not grind... we people that include waltzing in our dance repertoire don't typically go to "clubs". just throwing it out there.
ladyLALAA 29
AI think 37 was just trying to make a comparison, calm down.
xbella 8
Who said anything about grinding? Why would she be grinding on her dad, now ur just nasty for saying that.
ladyLALAA 29
Trollol. Shhhhhh ^^
xbella 8
No! Lol
AugustBurnsToast 14
That must've been mega awkward bahaha
tweetbaby14 18
Why is it awkward? Her father said she stinks not some random person on the street.
ryancolly 2
Sounds like hes a pussy
wildsweetchild 19
Then do so, and problem fixed ...better your dad, then somebody else.
perdix 31
You're lucky he lasted a minute. He probably thought you two started to dance near a pile of dogshit or a dead animal and tried to move away from it, when he realized the stench of feces/rotting corpse followed him, he threw in the towel.
Krysk_fml 0
Why did your dad want to dance with you?
badam_fml 6
He's your dad and hes honest - be glad you did not go out that way !
Akharr01 5
Be like I think it's your pits! Put them DOWN