Miscellaneous: Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute...

By potatoes - 17/01/2012 03:16 - United States

Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 276

You deserved it 30 934

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Same thing different taste

By Ishowet - 31/05/2017 12:00 - United States - Hialeah

Today, my five-year-old son told me that I smell bad and asked me to take a shower so I wouldn't attract bugs into the house. I had just showered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 971

You deserved it 472

By IAmACoolCat - 05/07/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 506

You deserved it 4 955

Earbleach

By Anonymous - 01/05/2013 16:13 - United States

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey, except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 420

You deserved it 5 578

By Anonymous - 20/05/2016 16:05 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my dad told me to knock it off with my "stupid gangster walk", saying it made me look like an idiot. I didn't have the balls to admit I'd sharted my pants and was awkwardly waddling to the bathroom to clean myself up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 819

You deserved it 2 249

By smellsgood - 13/03/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 413

You deserved it 11 379

America! F*** yeah!

By scarredforlife - 08/08/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, it was my mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room, only to see my dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain, I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now my dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 222

You deserved it 7 210

By Selina - 22/06/2013 22:59 - United States - Trenton

Today, my dad invited our very cute neighbor inside to introduce him to me. I was wearing pajamas and hadn't showered in two days due to being extremely sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 791

You deserved it 5 321

By docwinters - 27/05/2013 12:39 - Australia - Bathurst

Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 163

You deserved it 4 998

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 712

You deserved it 5 788

By fml - 10/08/2013 10:48 - United States - Perry

Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 626

You deserved it 12 262

CaptainCola 7

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:07

Just be like "it's your breath, stop talking and maybe it will stop smelling so bad around here..ooohhh burn!!" Eh I got nothing...

luismyl 6

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:05

Hey he is being honest

Comments

Reasonable 4

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:13

This context is bizarre... Did OP smell like potatoes or something?

jonriise18 3

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:22

What!?

jdogg0119 4

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:15

Stinky stinky...

sparkrok 8

Tuesday 17 January 2012 10:16

hefty hefty

DrMime 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 10:18

Adjective Adjective

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Tuesday 17 January 2012 10:37

Verb! Verb!

proud2fly 7

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:19

At least he let you know before you went off and danced with someone else smelling like that. :)

ICATiger 13

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:19

You smelly bro?

ThecomingofTan 9

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:22

Don't forget to wash your ass.

tmd4L 7

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:39

Or else you'll be funky.

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Tuesday 17 January 2012 10:24

Or you'll give your girlfriend a skid mark.

stevenJB 25

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:24

Oh that's dad making sure he'll have grand kids. It's a good thing :D

_Peppermint_ 34

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:31

**** him....and ma $20

kickuwithmyfist 1

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:46

^no!

michellenKG 5

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:32

Well then maybe you should go shower.

loveme25 6

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:32

Well take a shower stinky butt!

steviesnm 6

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:48

If you need to be told to shower, there's a problem.

hamodeabosam 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 11:18

U r right

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Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 905

You deserved it 74 253

Today, a man yelled at me for what seemed like an eternity when I told him his child wasn't tall enough to ride a roller-coaster. His daughter was about 3 years-old. The coaster is the second tallest in the world. I deal with morons like this every day, at minimum wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 635

You deserved it 119

The Top

Today, we all got together and showed Dad, with evidence from our ring doorbell and our phone recordings, that I’m the only one he shouts at, yet with everyone else he controls his temper perfectly. The end result? He sent everyone out so he could yell at me about violating his privacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 103

Today, after recently celebrating our third wedding anniversary, my husband and I watched my mom and his dad say, "I do." I'm now married to my step-brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 696

You deserved it 504

Today, like every evening, our place is literally shaking with banging noises from the apartment below. Are they raising ponies down there? Wrecking the furniture? Taking out some walls? No, it's just my landlord's six-year-old. Playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 534

You deserved it 128

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 905

You deserved it 8 669

Never say never!

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 266

Today, my teacher told me I wasn't pretty enough to play the princess part in the play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 785

You deserved it 5 757

Same thing different taste

Earbleach

America! F*** yeah!

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