Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, my dad came to my graduate art show wearing a t-shirt saying "My other daughter is a science major". He'd had it specially made. FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, I picked up a birthday card for my dad at the supermarket in a mad rush. I didn’t realise that the inside said “From your daughter”. He thinks this was my way of coming out as trans, and said that he'd suspected it for years. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, I found out my husband had bought my one year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
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Top comments
_Peppermint_ 34
No kidding!
player20270 32
I imagine your daughter won't enjoy the pictures from her birthday party, when she gets the real meaning of the shirt's phrase.
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Comments (49)
MiaTheMartian 21
makes sense haha no offense OP
Paws_Cat 29
I hope it wasn't describing your daughter.
gintwinsmoore 20
"small penis, huge asshole".
Starfire950 5
on your dads bday wear a shirt that says "My dad loves small penis"
berkeleyjake 13
truth in advertising
PANDORUM89 21
I feel like some of the members on here are a tad dramatic. I don't think your dad is a dick. I think people who order 25 items in the drive through, or honk literally as soon as the light turns green are dicks. Your dad just made a bad judgment call. I'm sorry and I hope you explained why it was not a good choice.
birdybirdchirp 18
True statement then.
Atowns40 18
Is it bad that i want that shirt? Lol
cjfred 13
Not at all, #48, as long as you have the sense not to wear it to a kid's birthday party!
daltonc21212 10
that is funny as hell
Ivy_Kun 14
How dafuq does that make sense? It's like the saying is going against itself