Miscellaneous: Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke... - FML

By Strainer - 23/05/2015 04:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 563

You deserved it 6 001

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Same thing different taste

High tension

By Discipl - 28/10/2014 03:00 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 121

You deserved it 5 968

Too stupid

By Anonymous - 15/02/2020 01:00

Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 2 297

How? Why?

By WetMorning - 05/11/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 681

By Anonymous - 04/05/2011 18:05 - United States

Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 202

You deserved it 8 975

Down the hatch

By Anonymous - 05/11/2024 15:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I woke up with a hangover and a pounding headache and tried to take an ibuprofen with a glass of water. I missed my mouth and threw the pill directly into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 493

Blow it

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 01:59

Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 731

Leave it to the pros

By Anonymous - 05/11/2021 00:01 - United States - Epsom

Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 242

Headshot

By Anonymous - 26/07/2021 14:01

Today, I was putting on my sweatpants and accidentally stepped on the elastic drawstring. I moved my foot. The string snapped upward with great speed and hit me in my open eye. My eyeball is not happy with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 123

By blanknameisblank - 09/06/2014 19:36 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I broke my nose trying to pop a zit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 674

You deserved it 22 118

Like a true Marxist

By Anonymous - 29/12/2022 12:00 - Germany

Today, I’ve been feeling like I got something stuck in my eye for hours. Nope, just one of those tiny blood vessels swollen up to the point it chafes on my eyelid. The only way I’m not in pain is by looking exclusively toward the extreme left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 91

Next

Top comments

Chrriis 20

Saturday 23 May 2015 23:58

How does one simply do that while taking a shit? What the ****.. Stop pushing so damn hard!

Welshite 39

Saturday 23 May 2015 23:58

Next time play Eye of the Tiger for extra motivation.

Comments

Chrriis 20

Saturday 23 May 2015 23:58

How does one simply do that while taking a shit? What the ****.. Stop pushing so damn hard!

IAmzephyr 22

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:09

not enough taco bell

pinkster2014 25

Sunday 24 May 2015 2:27

He was probably constipated. Op, I suggest more fiber and/or water in your diet :p

CrassKal 27

Sunday 24 May 2015 4:58

There is a major blood vessel in that area of the body, and straining too hard can actually lead to heart attacks or other problems. Basically what I'm saying is, don't force it. If it's not going to happen it's not going to happen.

deathshead 19

Sunday 24 May 2015 5:16

this guys pic of the cat, to perfect for the subject

Welshite 39

Saturday 23 May 2015 23:58

Next time play Eye of the Tiger for extra motivation.

SlimDanny 15

Sunday 24 May 2015 1:58

Or Don't Stop Believin'. That's my go to when I need some hype.

devildog562 33

Sunday 24 May 2015 3:02

Salt and peppa man. Push it.

aguynamednick 20

Saturday 23 May 2015 23:59

you had better keep an eye on that shity situation. prepare for the down votes!

Dougie_Bee 21

Sunday 24 May 2015 1:08

Why would you say that if you know you're going to get downvoted?

JohnTheDonJuan 11

Sunday 24 May 2015 1:14

Horrible attempt at an overused pun, not mention you can't even spell "shitty"...

MooKings 13

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:00

Dang. Try drinking more water throughout the day.

lexos 16

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:01

You should probably see a doctor if you need to push so hard to take a crap

19990231 29

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:05

When it gets to that point, just give up or take a laxative...

tranced_ 45

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:05

What did you had for dinner last night ?

PossiblyInDanger 24

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:05

I recommend taking laxatives next time.

bogwarlock 19

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:06

sounds like someone needs more fiber.

spinda 22

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:11

Did it hurt? Eat more vegetables, OP!

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Today, I get to go to my new job and have the boss's kid watch me as I do all the grunt work, and he just sits there watching me, only to come and correct me on how to do my job. Oh joy. FML

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Today, it's been three days since my husband got into free-jazz. He plays all the time in our small apartment. Loud. It's like listening to three guys build a shed for 10 giant angry wasps. FML

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